Dog Food WARNING!!

[lostprophet]

I have two dogs and I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco this morning and was standing in the queue at the till. A woman behind me asked me if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but as I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.

 

[EBphotography]

 

[Antarctican]

Oh, you are one sick puppy all right, LP....

 

[JohnMF]

that conjured up an unpleasant mental image... which wont go *shudder*

 

[blackdoglab]

(subversive laughter) LP, I have an image in my head that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

 

[Hertz van Rental]

I never lick balls in the street. You can never be sure where they have been.

I used to sing the praises of the all cheese diet...

 

[Tangerini]

:er:

 

[blackdoglab]

of course there's always the seafood diet (when I see-food i eat it) True confession. I tried dog treats when i was a kid. They were peanut butter flavor with a liver undertone. They were pretty good, but I had an urge to chase sticks, cats, and squirrels afterwards.

 

[cherrymoose]

Oh my.


And that story was all going so nicely until the last sentence.


I remember in 3rd grade we had to write about our favorite foods, and I picked 'dog biscuits'. Whenever I'd pet sit my neighbor's dog, I'd sneak into the treat cabinet and steal some of the extra Milk Bones.

 

[doenoe]

WHAHAHAHAA
sitting here in a internet cafe and laughed out loud.

 

[(Ghastly) Krueger]

He he... the baby just fell asleep, my wife is downstairs working and I'm supposed to be working also...
Had to bite my tounge not to laugh...:lmao:

 

[Puscas]

​

(but what happened to the guy behind her?)






pascal

 

[wesd]

LMAO, I wish I could have seen the look on her face through the whole story. If I was in line I probly would have been on the floor lol.