Whitney A:
I'll join the group of people who told you that you aren't ready to shoot wedding. Playing with photography since 13 and being new to this.... how old are you? (don't really care but you get the point I hope)
The couple need to hire a professional wedding photographer if want their memories to be captured right and not someone with a big camera (that kind of looks from far - professional). Anytime, you take out a camera and promises (either for free or for pay) a quality result, you have to deliver it. From your posts, AGAIN, you
aren't the right person for the job, in few years after working under someone's guidance, you will be. No amount of books, videos will prepare you for that day.
Now that I got that out of the way here's the minimum amount of gear that you'll need:
*primary body
*primary lens(es)
*primary light source(s)
*Backup body
*backup lens(es)
*backup lighting
*at least 2 sets of batteries for each electronic device: one camera = 2 batteries, one flash = 8 bateries (unless you're using SB800 w/5 batteries then you'll need per unit).
You can get away with less, but I find that it takes less time to swap a flash, then swap batteries; when free moment comes, you take 2 min brake and swap batteries that from flash that you just took off.
Memory cards: i know nothing about you but from your post, SHOOT RAW and shoot A LOT! (If I knew what you're capable of I'd gladly limit you).
White Balance: GET A GREY CARD!!!!! Chances are you won't calibrate your monitor, therefore at least get the colors right from the start.
Exposure: shooting in RAW will give you 2 stops +/- to play with but it doesn't mean that you should screw that up.
If you'll be shooting in anything other then ALL manual (flash and camera) learn about your camera's metering, how it effects the image and how to compensate for one or the other.
With kit lenses, f/8 is usually best way to go. However, opening it 2/3 of a stop won't kill much of a quality and might help you w/ lighting. Consider renting a fast lens - I'm not a fan of shooting wide open but at least 2.8 lens, shooting one stop down gives me the look I'd want vs shooting w/ 3.5-5.6 lens. Later one, AGAIN, is a kit lens and you shouldn't keep it at 2-3 stops down from widest aperture (for optimal sharpness).
Google David Zeiser, he's a wedding photographer in Cincinnati and is very big into lighting and bouncing lights of the walls, ceilings, floors, w/e. He'd probably bounce that sucker off the moon if could
Kelby's Training Center has number of videos that might be helpful.
Again, you can't learn wedding photography from videos or reading about it but least you might get more of an understanding about it.
If you got specific Qs, PM
First time I ever shot a wedding, I nearly crapped in my pants. I was still an assistant then (about 2-3 yrs into photography but I had about 4yrs prior on video end of the business). We came to work and photographer I worked for (may he rest in piece) said "you're shooting this job". I had a good laugh, continued setting up lights, metering, stetting up nice ratio, etc ... as the bride enters, we stood there (for about 30sec) at which point I realized that
I was shooting that wedding and my photog, was going to assist me.
The crapping part came from the fact that it was with Bronica (google it): for every picture that you messed up and went to trash - its about a $1.0 wasted (220film). No one wants to waste film since it is EXPENSIVE!
That day I shot 35rolls (24frames/roll ) in a 6hr wedding (25 was considered to be heavy shooting). Client got about 500-600 proofs and the rest were for me to learn from.
Point is, I was still under supervision of a professional. First time I shot my own wedding (burrowed ALL of his gear but bought my own film) was about a year after that. It was an old day wedding and I shot about 1,000 frames (interestingly enough, clients didn't mind then standing while photographer meters light BUT today they do :er

clients got about 700-800 proofs.
And that is where you should start.
Work with or under someone who can guide you.