Funerals?

[esselle]

I did it.

Usagani Photography | Denver Colorado Funeral Photographer - In Loving Memory - Jason Michael Murphy

I will be looking at these over and over tonight, my gosh..this is a special work! You're so talented, Robin.
Thank you kindly, for sharing it today.

 

[Robin_Usagani]

You are too kind.

 

[runnah]

Rob those are all great. Large funerals like these I can see covering but the small family only funerals just seems too intimate and sad to want to capture.

 

[Josh66]

but the small family only funerals just seems too intimate and sad to want to capture.

Yeah, I think that would be kind of weird... But I know people do it. I've even seen late night ads for an "exciting new career in funeral photography" before. It was sort of being billed as an untapped market.

 

[runnah]

Yeah, I think that would be kind of weird... But I know people do it. I've even seen late night ads for an "exciting new career in funeral photography" before. It was sort of being billed as an untapped market.

I just can't imagine want to see photos of my family crying and looking distraught?

"Oh here is a nice photo of Barbara at her husbands funeral, I just love the catchlights in the river of tears."

Feels unclean.

 

[Robin_Usagani]

Then why spend the $$ for a nice casket, flowers, venue, etc? It is a celebration of life.

 

[esselle]

Big or small, when someone dies an untimely death, it brings with it a blend of emotions ...sadness, confusion, anger. It is sad when a loved one dies at any age, but there is a deep anger when someone dies well before his/her time.

An update - I talked with my friend tonight and asked what her ultimate wish is with these photos...is it honestly about the funeral or is it more for keepsake photos of people she hasn't seen in a long time? She said the latter. I told her I'm not trying to get out of going to a funeral but I thought about this all day today and frankly, the sadness and anger these ppl are going to be feeling, I'm sorry...but they don't want their picture taken under that kind of stress. She then told me a few relatives will be staying in town all next week and maybe after the funeral ...we could pick a nice place for dinner and take some photos there. That, is a good idea...they may be in slightly better spirits; I just didn't feel her initial idea was appropriate.

and then she cried and shared a lot about her cousin. It's a sad story. Thank you for your advice and insights today, meant a lot. ((Hugs))

 

[esselle]

but the small family only funerals just seems too intimate and sad to want to capture.

Yeah, I think that would be kind of weird... But I know people do it. I've even seen late night ads for an "exciting new career in funeral photography" before. It was sort of being billed as an untapped market.

Is there no shame in marketing anymore?? "Exciting?" Ugh, so not the "right" word.

 

[Josh66]

They may not have actually said 'exciting', but that was the general idea. That there's this awesome new opportunity out there that's just waiting for you to get into before the market is saturated. Buy our DVD!

 

[bratkinson]

I would have to go with 'no shots at the funeral service, maybe a couple graveside from a distance, and some family shots at the get-together afterwards'.

The key, in my mind, is to be very respectful of everyone there and especially to not be an 'intruder' into what, for many, is a very difficult time in their lives. That means absolutely NO FLASH in the service, and probably not graveside, either.

At the reception later on, it would likely be more of a family reunion setting. So I'd likely take some pictures of grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, etc. I know at my paternal grandmothers funeral 30+ years ago, as she was the last of her generation in a family of 8 children, it was a family reunion for those who rarely got together due to distances, location, etc. It can actually be a good opportunity to make up lost time with family. On the other hand, at the funeral of my (now ex-)wifes' aunt 20+ years ago, the ongoing 'family feud' wsa still very much in evidence to this outsider.

So, if you do go with camera in hand, tread with caution. Try to be invisible as much as possible unless someone approaches you and asks you to 'get a shot of me and xxxx...'.

 

[frozenframe]

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was requested to photograph the flowers during the visitation for my mother-in-law's funeral. I was very uncomfortable. However when I arrived I found a sister-in-law packing her Nikon. Not only did she grab photos of all the flowers, but she took photos of mom in the casket. I did shoot about 3 shots from a distance of this, only and I mean only because the sisters wanted a photo of the flowers on the casket. Sadly it was open.

Told my wife afterwards how I felt, and that if someone wanted to hire me to shoot a funeral my reply would be "you can't afford me", sorry I just don't.

 

[dbvirago]

Great job, Robin

 

[esselle]

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was requested to photograph the flowers during the visitation for my mother-in-law's funeral. I was very uncomfortable. However when I arrived I found a sister-in-law packing her Nikon. Not only did she grab photos of all the flowers, but she took photos of mom in the casket. I did shoot about 3 shots from a distance of this, only and I mean only because the sisters wanted a photo of the flowers on the casket. Sadly it was open.

Told my wife afterwards how I felt, and that if someone wanted to hire me to shoot a funeral my reply would be "you can't afford me", sorry I just don't.

Interesting that they wanted photos of all the flowers. Hmmm. I understand your feelings.
My thoughts about why ppl would want photos of this are changing. When u think about it, if you are one of the closer ppl to the deceased, you're crying ...comforting others...you're honestly missing the day so maybe photos can help you see the day through another point of view. I'm guessing but idk.

 

[wyogirl]

I think you have to clear it with the immediate family, not your friend. However... I have some insight to the whole thing. My brother is a funeral director so I know more about death and funerals than I care to admit, but here I'll share.

While uncommon today, funeral photography dates back to early American photographic history. Many families didn't have the money to afford photographs and after the death of a loved one, would "splurge" so to speak and have a photo taken of the deceased. It sounds weird to us but if you think about it, we don't anticipate dying and when a loved one dies, we often feel like we should have said or done something differently or sooner.

Done more commonly today is post mortem photography of still-born infants and infants in general. They are often called "angel photos" and its a way for families who were expecting to welcome life into the world keep some kind of memory of the child.

Funerals are different in every culture and family. What is weird or stupid to one person is needed by another. But again... it can make people uncomfortable so it has to be the immediate family, the ones planning the funeral, who ask for this to make it ok.

 

[CowgirlMama]

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was requested to photograph the flowers during the visitation for my mother-in-law's funeral. I was very uncomfortable. However when I arrived I found a sister-in-law packing her Nikon. Not only did she grab photos of all the flowers, but she took photos of mom in the casket. I did shoot about 3 shots from a distance of this, only and I mean only because the sisters wanted a photo of the flowers on the casket. Sadly it was open.

Told my wife afterwards how I felt, and that if someone wanted to hire me to shoot a funeral my reply would be "you can't afford me", sorry I just don't.

Interesting that they wanted photos of all the flowers. Hmmm. I understand your feelings.
My thoughts about why ppl would want photos of this are changing. When u think about it, if you are one of the closer ppl to the deceased, you're crying ...comforting others...you're honestly missing the day so maybe photos can help you see the day through another point of view. I'm guessing but idk.

I think this exactly it. When my grandfather died, my mom asked a close family friend to discretely take a few photos throughout the day. She knew that she wouldn't have much memory of it and wanted to have the pictures. It wasn't so much "I need pictures of this!" as "I might later regret *not* having pictures, so please do this for me, in case I want them some day." The photos are by no means professional, but they're good enough. She didn't want fancy professional pictures. Just something simple to document.