Gifts at work? A dilemma

[SquarePeg]

I thought now that I work at home and no longer at an office every day that this type of situation would not come up anymore but it has once again reared its ugly head. One of my coworkers sent out an email while I was away soliciting contributions for a gift for our boss. I have always been taught that gifts should flow down in a business environment, not up. It’s an ethical dilemma for a boss to accept a gift from someone who’s salary and bonus and workload they control.

I’ve always bought gifts when I had people who reported to me or administrative support staff but never for my boss. Now I am faced with the situation of contributing to this gift for a boss who is new and likely will be put on the spot by this gift and have to run out and get gifts for the six of us who now work for her, or being the only one in the group whose name is not on the group gift.

I’m really annoyed with my coworker for starting this but while I was away everyone else decided to contribute. Am I being a Scrooge? What’s the right thing to do here?

 

[Original katomi]

Put in the pot this year but try and explain to your co worker the problems they have caused. And how if not careful how giving the boss gifts Could be seen.
When I worked ours was very much a flat structure not the piramid with the boss at the top so for me it was not such a problem. But like you gifts flow from the top down. And as a worker you showed that you apreached the boss by putting yourself out when asked or you saw a chance to solve a problem.
Hope it all works out, I don’t think there is a good way out

 

[Braineack]

And here at my office we are collecting for our the brave man responsible for cleaning up after us adult babies.

 

[tirediron]

...I’m really annoyed with my coworker for starting this but while I was away everyone else decided to contribute. Am I being a Scrooge? What’s the right thing to do here?

No, you're not being a Scrooge. As a supervisor/manager, I often received small gifts from subordinates (<$10); such things as tin of fancy coffee, or whatever, and those I accepted with thanks, but anything bigger would be greeted with a polite, 'THank-you, but I don't think it's appropriate".

What I would do is suggest to the team that if the gift hasn't been purchased, the funds be donated to a local "generic" charity in the bosses name and a card sent to him/her indicating such. If the gift has been bought, than it be donated, and a card to the boss. After Christmas, i would suggest a meeting/mass e-mail saying that isn't appropriate and explaining why.

 

[terri]

I agree with John. It's a gracious way out, and your team likely knows you were out of the office and couldn't respond in real time. But this should be addressed soon, and put to bed.

It doesn't help that this manager is brand new, and not expecting anything. It puts her in an uncomfortable position. I'm sure your co-workers are just trying to be kind and welcoming, but it's a little misguided. As a former manager, I always made sure to participate in whatever the whole office was doing, Secret Santa or any general trade-off of names. It leveled the playing field and no one had to think to do anything extra for me (they usually did, but that was on them and they kept it low key, at least). I always threw an office party on my own dime, so we could just enjoy an afternoon off to just laugh, eat goodies and go home early - which is usually all anyone wanted.

 

[SquarePeg]

Put in the pot this year but try and explain to your co worker the problems they have caused. And how if not careful how giving the boss gifts Could be seen.
When I worked ours was very much a flat structure not the piramid with the boss at the top so for me it was not such a problem. But like you gifts flow from the top down. And as a worker you showed that you apreached the boss by putting yourself out when asked or you saw a chance to solve a problem.
Hope it all works out, I don’t think there is a good way out

yeah I feel kind of stuck with it. And this is a boss who was recently promoted so I don’t think she’ll be comfortable accepting the “gift” which I also think is an inappropriate gift - a Amazon gift card based on $20 pp from our team of 6! No thought or meaning, too expensive, will obligate her to reciprocate. The more I think about it the more against it I am.

And here at my office we are collecting for our the brave man responsible for cleaning up after us adult babies.

Now that I can get on board with!

...I’m really annoyed with my coworker for starting this but while I was away everyone else decided to contribute. Am I being a Scrooge? What’s the right thing to do here?

No, you're not being a Scrooge. As a supervisor/manager, I often received small gifts from subordinates (<$10); such things as tin of fancy coffee, or whatever, and those I accepted with thanks, but anything bigger would be greeted with a polite, 'THank-you, but I don't think it's appropriate".

What I would do is suggest to the team that if the gift hasn't been purchased, the funds be donated to a local "generic" charity in the bosses name and a card sent to him/her indicating such. If the gift has been bought, than it be donated, and a card to the boss. After Christmas, i would suggest a meeting/mass e-mail saying that isn't appropriate and explaining why.

I work for a very large company with lots of policies in place on this stuff but I checked and The gift ethics email that went out corporate wide only addresses giving/receiving gifts from our customers.

 

[BitGid]

Came here to say what others mentioned. It depends on company culture. I usually give out gifts just to show appreciation. It's usually just to my immediate team mates but supervisor also. It is usually nothing over $10 usually. Chocolates, drinks, planners, throw blankets, ect...

 

[jcdeboever]

Not a good position to put a supervisor in. In this day and age, its a slippery slope as they say. At the end of the day, a supervisor is not there to be liked but to lead. You are in no way obligated to participate and if questioned, you are in no way obligated to give an answer. I'm almost certain this supervisor wouldn't question or even notice for that matter.

 

[SquarePeg]

To circle back on this.. I did feel obligated and I did participate but I also told my coworker how I felt about the whole thing so he would know and hopefully not repeat the exercise next year. .

Our boss sent an email thanking all for the gift and a few days later I got a Christmas card in the mail from her with a Starbucks gift card in it for basically the amount that we had each chipped in for her gift. The whole thing was awkward for her I suspect and foe us plus totally unnecessary IMO.

 

[Original katomi]

Sounds like you boss said thanks but don’t do it again.
But in a way that she can defend with her boss and not be rude to all of you.
Just reading between the lines as they say

 

[jcdeboever]

To circle back on this.. I did feel obligated and I did participate but I also told my coworker how I felt about the whole thing so he would know and hopefully not repeat the exercise next year. .

Our boss sent an email thanking all for the gift and a few days later I got a Christmas card in the mail from her with a Starbucks gift card in it for basically the amount that we had each chipped in for her gift. The whole thing was awkward for her I suspect and foe us plus totally unnecessary IMO.

Oh well. Glad it all worked out. Hopefully people can learn from that. I mean, you were uncomfortable, the boss was probably even more so. People's intentions may be good but they're not always the right thing to do.

 

[AQS]

I'm a bit late to this thread, but I agree on not getting a collective gift for one's boss for Christmas.

However, we do do things like a card or similar on one's birthday. Doesn't have to be expensive and brings no obligation with it.