Harsh critique on these, go go go!

thebasedsloth · Feb 11, 2013

How could these be improved? Anything from lighting to post processing to the way she was posed, etc. Pretty much anything!

Mousetrap by TheBasedSloth, on Flickr

Minty by TheBasedSloth, on Flickr

Untitled by TheBasedSloth, on Flickr

jbarrettash · Feb 11, 2013

Ok, you asked for it!

1) Her expression is unoriginal. There is a distracting lock of loose hair on the top of her head. Her hair is featureless and lost in shadow on the left side of her head. No separation of subject OR incorporation into BG. (these are rules I use - either through light, DOF or composition, separate your subject from its surroundings OR incorporate it in an interesting way). Compositionally, the frame is too long - her white shirt and torso don't add any information or atmosphere or "feeling" to the shot (it seems extraneous and detracts and distracts from what is interesting - her face.) On the positive side, her stare into the camera is captivating and the BG has a nice texture to it. All in all, it feels like a snapshot though... suggestions: use a longer lens (or get closer to her with that lens or a wider one), get her away from the wall (distance-wise), crop for a better composition and, another personal rule, avoid shoulders square to the camera - it opens up the body and exposes her stance as awkward. Try having her a little sideways (adds depth), like in 2) and 3)

2 ) interesting light (though a little harsh - the white in her blouse is blown out...) and nice composition. Some may say the soft fingers are distracting, but they don't bother me much (though they are kind of "not-quite-soft-enough" to appear as an aesthetic choice...). For me, the weakest elements of this shot are her vacant expression (she seems to be posing) and the downward shift of her eyes (it looks as is if she is looking down not so much at something interesting, but rather because if she looks up and poses like this too long the bright light in her eyes might make her squint. This kind of thing, consciously or subconsciously is distracting for the viewer - it draws attention to the camera and her pose seems that much more contrived...)

3) Now you've got some mystery happening! I like the colours of the outfit and how they match her lips... she looks demure and pensive - her eyes cast downward say "pensive" and not distracted... for criticism though - a darker background (a stop or two below 18%) might bring out your subject more. This is also a difficult position for all but the slimmest of women (or men I guess!) - her arm and shoulder look too big and distract us from the face. I would crop this almost square - from below her chin just showing a hint of shoulder to where the feather meets the top of the beige edge of the cap. This would draw you in to her face and make an intimate expression into a more intimate shot.

I am pretty new to the forum, but an old hand at photography and cinematography, but keep in mind, experience or no, theses are only opinions! I hope this helps (either through agreement or vehement refusal of my ideas - either way, ya lurnd sommin. And me too. Thanks for posting these)
cheers,

jbarrettash

amolitor · Feb 11, 2013

She looks like a sullen little girl in the first one, and not very interesting.

The second one, I am torn. I feel like I want more background for context, since it looks interesting. On the other hand, maybe just hinting at the interesting background is a good thing? Dramatic light, maybe a bit too dramatic for the rest of the mood of it, not sure about that either. Something to consider. Nice hints in the multi-colored fingernails and the graffiti (?) in the background, the suggest without telling.

Third one's pretty good too. A little ambiguous, since she's not really selling the vintage feel. She looks like a contemporary girl playing dressup, but again with a bit of sullen, which makes us wonder a bit. I like it pretty well.

thebasedsloth · Feb 11, 2013

Thank you so much, guys! That's exactly what I was looking for. Keep it up!

And just in case you guys are wondering, she is capable of smiling:

Mesothelioma 2 by TheBasedSloth, on Flickr

I just always tend to pic the more stone faced one out of the bunch

jowensphoto · Feb 12, 2013

I don't think her expression is super-model awesome in the first, but I do think it shows vulnerability. She looks a bit "deer in the head lights" and then the other photos also lack any real eye contact. While this may seem like a fault with the model, it also falls on the photographer. Learning to interact, direct and put your clients/models at ease is an art unto itself.

Similar observation as the last post I commented on today... in the third, are you using an action or fill layer? I'd mask the skin so it's not so pink.

From your flickr: Untitled | Flickr - Photo Sharing! I kind of like this one. She should really be facing "into" the frame, and maybe not be looking to far to the side. I think it's a good start though.

thebasedsloth · Feb 12, 2013

jowensphoto said:
I don't think her expression is super-model awesome in the first, but I do think it shows vulnerability. She looks a bit "deer in the head lights" and then the other photos also lack any real eye contact. While this may seem like a fault with the model, it also falls on the photographer. Learning to interact, direct and put your clients/models at ease is an art unto itself.

Similar observation as the last post I commented on today... in the third, are you using an action or fill layer? I'd mask the skin so it's not so pink.

From your flickr: Untitled | Flickr - Photo Sharing! I kind of like this one. She should really be facing "into" the frame, and maybe not be looking to far to the side. I think it's a good start though.

I'm still very new to this type of photography, and still somewhat new to photography in general, so i'm still trying to learn how to interact with models and get them to do what they need to. I agree about her uncomfortable look though, you're definitely not the first to say that.

For the third, I didn't bring that one into photoshop at all actually, all the processing was done in lightroom. I did, however, apply split toning to it. The highlights red, 15% saturation. The shadows blue, 30% saturation.
I personally thought it made it a little more neutral and made the hat pop a little less so more attention would be drawn toward her face.
Her skin is a little pink though so it does look a bit.. unnatural.

As for the flickr one, I made a thread for that one the other day and there was actually a whole discussion on whether or not she should be looking towards or into the frame.
Link to thread in case you're curious: http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/black-white-gallery/316666-portraits-friend.html