Has freelancing hurt or benefitted your love relationships?

kentclarkkent · Feb 7, 2016

I've talked to a lot of freelancers, not just photographers and what I have found is this:

Seems to me there is a point where you break out from being a hack to going pro and then it gets easier. But that stage when you are trying to start out and everybody thinks you are an amateur even you... and your lover is likely to roll her eyes a little when the subject comes up.

How to do you take time and money for your dream project without damaging the relationship?

Is there a way to make it an asset?

DB_Cro · Feb 7, 2016

It's like being a musician (which my father is), you'll work usually when she's not working, afternoons, weekends, holidays.
The bigger the holiday, more likely you'll be working and that for sure can be an issue if your significant other doesn't
(or refuses to) understand.

I'm into my photo stuff 24/7, shoot mostly thursday-sunday afternoons and nights and of course the subject comes up, depending on PMS.

KmH · Feb 7, 2016

My significant other rolling her eyes when the subject of my getting my photography business up and running came up would be a significant indication I needed to consider finding a replacement significant other.

There is no way to significantly reduce the amount of time and money it takes to get a viable photography business up and running.

dennybeall · Feb 7, 2016

KmH has it right. That applies equally to starting any business. It would be wonderful if your significant other is supportive but if not you have to consider either a new significant other or a new approach to business. If you try to start a new business without full support you will most likely not make it.

imagemaker46 · Feb 7, 2016

The only reason I have been able to keep shooting is having a wife who has supported everything I have done for the past 34 years. Thick and thin.

DB_Cro · Feb 7, 2016

inb4 'thick and thin' jokes. :1219:

kentclarkkent · Feb 7, 2016

Just curious... do you have kids?

And without being intrusive... is your photography very lucrative?

minicoop1985 · Feb 7, 2016

I have a kid and a wife who's quite supportive. She rolls her eyes at me a LOT when I talk about gear, but is always there to help when I need it.

DanOstergren · Feb 8, 2016

I refuse to stay with someone who has no faith in me or does not support what I am passionate about. If they feel so strongly about disagreeing with what I do, then obviously we aren't a good match. Them rolling their eyes at the subject of my photography would result in them being told to get out of my house. Perhaps they should go date an accountant who quietly collects stamps and does nothing more.

kentclarkkent · Feb 9, 2016

haha I hear you Dan Ostergren... That's great. Everybody should have that attitude.

I guess a lot of people on here started their photography career before they were burdened with a lot of responsibilities.

My question was really for those guys who are working a crappy day job, have a wife and kids and are trying to transition into something they are passionate about.

It becomes hard to justify a lot of the expense and time spent when there is not an immediate return on investment.

imagemaker46 · Feb 9, 2016

I was working as a photographer when I met my wife, I'm not sure if she knew what she was buying into at the time, but I'm still with her, otherwise I would probably be homeless. I've travelled the world but we could never afford to have her come with me, and besides it was work. We have raised 3 boys together, freelancing allowed me to do all the school trips. We have struggled though moneyless times, even when I was making really good money, she wasn't, but she was at home allowing me to continue with my photographic addiction. She has a great job now, but I'm not working as much as I used to, when I do, we have more money and get caught up, then back on to the roller coaster. A lot of things suck in life, having someone who is willing to stay with you, and support you regardless of the hardships, that's what makes it work.

kentclarkkent · Feb 9, 2016

Also, there are the career photo guys like DB Cro above who say they do their photography 24/7 and I wonder how good that relationship can be...

The question is where is the balance... and how do you make sure two things that you are passionate about:

your family
your photography

are given their due attention ...

DB_Cro · Feb 10, 2016

I'm 33, have a GF that's 10 years younger then me and we don't even live together, let alone have a family, but
this one "understands" what it takes, even if she's bitching about us celebrating Valentine's day a day late, and
me working on New Year's eve etc.

I've been doing photography exclusively for just under 2 years, had various jobs (8 of them) in the past 10 years
and a relationship with my EX that wouldn't allow a stress free coffee with friends, let alone shooting drunk
teenage girls in clubs that are constantly all over you.

She's pissed on sundays (after saturday's selfies with chix pop up), but says she understands it's my job by late Sunday
afternoon.

I might not be the best example here since I don't have a proper family, but then again.. I don't really want to have one
either.

My photography has been no.1 thing in my life for the past year or so and it's going to stay that way.

She knows, she actually admires the dedication.
EX didn't, hence.. she's an EX, among other things.

EDIT: My father (60 now) has been playing guitar in various
bands since before I was born, and doing other music related
jobs which usually take place during nights, weekends, all
holidays.. well.. pretty similar to what most photographers
do. He was never around for "family time" but was brining
home a lot of $$ (in the 80s and 90s before **** hit the fan
here in ex Yugoslavia). I guess I got that work schedule from
him.