Help! My soon to be wife is uncomfortable with me shooting Nude art

[tirediron]

Dump her if she is not happy withit

Hey Gary... How did you make out in the 2012 Humanitarian of the Year Awards anyway?

 

[nola.ron]

IF your side of the story is true and she really has known you do this for the whole time then you have a real problem here, period. This is a huge red flag and as others have said, it is most likely just the tip of the iceberg.

Let me give you my experience - my GF and I will have our 2 year anniversary this June. We were together about 10 or 11 months and we were going to get married. I went and bought a ring but did not propose yet. I was waiting to speak with her father, trying to get a photographer and other things needed for the grand proposal I was planning. THEN it all started. She knew I played video games (I'm a 10 year IT pro) and knew that I love cars and have expensive taste and a very expensive modding habbit on them.

Once she knew I was going to propose, it all hit the fan. Every single day of my life I heard "You love your car more than me, you spend more time with the car than me, you spend more money on the car, you play too many video games, you are on the computer too much". ALL of these things were never a problem before she knew I was about to pop the question. It ended up exploding very quickly and getting even deeper. That was in January of 2012. We are still not married and I returned the ring. I bought a new car, one that I compromised on to save some money and please her... bought a 4 door instead of a 2 door, per her saying "buying a 2 door is childish" when 1) she has a 4 door and 2) I have NO problems getting a baby seat out of the back of a 2 door car if I would ever need to do so. That fight almost ended our relationship. Then I get the car and she obsesses over MY money that I spend on it, when yet I have thousands in the bank and continued putting hundreds every month into my savings, even after paying for our adventures/dates/dinners/etc AND paid for my hobbies... that was still unacceptable.

Fast forward past 2012 and she has learned that I am not going to just do as she says out of fear of a fight withh er. She has learned that I am not going to back down just because she says there is a problem when there's really not. She has also learned that I can have my hobbies, provide for us, and do my thing without effecting our future or our relationship. However, we are still not married and I have told her as much as recently that i have no plans on marrying her right now. That was too much of a red flag, and a marriage is not something to gamble on going into it. My best friend did that and he has lost everything he has ever loved because his wife (my cousin), has stripped it all from him just like my GF tried to do with me.

TLDR: There's a better match there and this is a huge red flag. Marriage doesn't mean giving up everything you ever loved... it only means that if you marry the wrong one. Postpone the wedding and get this worked out, because the odds are good that more "problems" like this are right around the corner.

 

[mishele]

Even if you think you could be ok right now w/ giving nudes up, really think about it. Because, when it's a year from now or maybe 5 and you start to resent your wife for the changes you made...it's too late. It's going to fester for about 10 more years till one morning you wake up and you can't stand the person you're laying next to. :lmao:
But, I'm sure that won't happen to you. You'll have the fairytale and live happily ever after. lol

 

[TimGreyPhotography]

Sometimes certian women like a man they think they can "fix". You need to make sure that she is not one of those women before you get married.

 

[mishele]

All men can be fixed....lol

 

[runnah]

All men can be fixed....lol

Trained, never fixed.

 

[mishele]

All men can be fixed....lol

Trained, never fixed.

You are correct, Sir. Trained is a much better word.

 

[runnah]

You are correct, Sir. Trained is a much better word.

But that doesn't mean occasionally the ladies don't need to be taught a lesson...

 

[manaheim]

You don't need advice from a photography forum, you need advice from a marriage counselor.

Something you've done for 8 years and she's just calling out that it's an issue three weeks before you get married?

Yeah.

Strap yourself in, buddy. It's going to be one hell of a ride.

 

[Mully]

The Dr fixed me!

 

[mishele]

The Dr fixed me!

It was a woman Dr., wasn't it?!

 

[manaheim]

I know it's horrible, but I'd seriously be running for the hills if I was the OP.

 

[IByte]

So I have been shooting nude art photography for 8 years, my soon to be wife is uncomfortable with it. I am not a cheating ass and I shoot for fine art. Any ideas to get her to not be uncomfortable?

let me preface this,

So we have been together a year, we are getting married in 3 weeks, she was fully aware of my work, and I have invited her to shoots, tried to shoot her, so I am at a loss. I have shot male and female nudes. Its a big part of my fine art photography. I was shooting nudes while we were dating as well. At that time she told she likes that I see the beauty of the body and now she is uncomfortable with it. She does have self esteem and body issues. I don't shoot pro skinny models either, most of them are new models getting a portfolio together and are average.

I'm sorry you've been shooting for 8 years and she's having an s$&& fit? Maybe sit and have a little talk, I'm sure she's reasonable.

I had to comprise with my wife. I gave up my hunting rights, but I can photograph regardless of the genre. Good luck and Congrads .

PS. I hate to sound like D, but stand your ground. Let her know that you are going to wgat you like to do period. If you back down, then shes going for total control.

She needs to realize it's not a swingers club, but a legitimate hobby/ business.

Maybe have her talk with a few clients with their spouse/love. If their SPOUSE is ok with it, then hopefully she will calm a bit.

 

[mishele]

Let's be honest...he's never going to call off this wedding w/ it only 3 weeks away. He's in for the long haul.

 

[manaheim]

She better be a lovely lovely woman...