How to deal with a "back seat" photographer

Dagwood56 · Feb 14, 2009

How do you all deal with the back seat photographer? You know, those people who are like annoying back seat drivers. They come along with you, and try to tell you how to do things, or what to shoot.

I have to rely on my husband to take me places and he too is into photography, and in many ways beter at it than I am, but composition is not one of his strong points unless he is doing macro shots of flowers. He no longer brings his camera along because the cost of slides and film and processing is just too high.

So we walk along and more times than not, I end up taking photos of what "he" feels is a nice shot. Its a constant - "Look at that, thats a nice shot isn't it? Why don't you grab it?" :er: Since I have a digital camera I usually comply and delete the shots when I post process, telling him they didn't turn out. But it gets annoying as H-E-double toothpicks! And sometimes I miss the shots I want, because of something he is so insistent I shoot.

Do any of you have this problem, and if so how do you deal with it without making the person angry? My husband gets his feelings hurt quite easily if I say I don't like what he wants me to shoot. But it would just be so nice to walk along and shoot ONLY what I want.

Overread · Feb 14, 2009

get him his own digital

you have a powershot and a sony - so give him the powershot when you go on walks - that should help keep him quiet

Walking with a photographer can be quite boring if they are interested in taking photos - since smalltalk and such is not their primary interest - so it not surprise that he is trying to involve himself in your shooting

Dagwood56 · Feb 14, 2009

Thanks. I've actually offered him the use of the powershot several times and he says no he doens't want to use it, But I'll keep trying.

thanks

Overread · Feb 14, 2009

does he just not like the digital gear?
you say he shoots (or did shoot) film so it might be that he is just not comfortable working with the digital gear and editing (and is possibly a bit to proud to admit to it)

Mike_E · Feb 14, 2009

Trade cameras every other trip.

Or take your Agfa and learn to develop and scan at home. (check the film section- you can find several who will help you there. )

TwoRails · Feb 14, 2009

Well, sometimes you just have to "let it all out." I get straightened out by my BetterHalf a lot, and ya, sometimes it hurts, but then she's usually right and I get over it and then everyone is more happy

LarissaPhotography · Feb 14, 2009

I agree with the trade-off idea if he doesn't want to bring his own camera. Agree BEFORE you go out that you guys will take turns with the camera and that means the control over what you're shooting too.

JerryPH · Feb 14, 2009

Dagwood56 said:
Thanks. I've actually offered him the use of the powershot several times and he says no he doens't want to use it, But I'll keep trying. thanks

You are doing it wrong... it is all in the timing. You *must* offer him the camera the moment he tells you to get something

"Carol, get that, isn't that pretty"

"sure it is honey, here you get it for me..." (hand him a digital camera, not yours, though... keep the backup camera handy, like around your neck or in a pocket or something).

And you have to do it EACH and EVERY time he tells you to shoot (physically lift the camera to him). Now, I am 100% sure he is not trying to be malicious or anything, but eventually, he *will* get the point and leave you to shoot.

If that doesn't work, you *are* husband and wife... do what a couple is supposed to do... communicate and tell him how you feel.

Dagwood56 · Feb 14, 2009

JerryPH - Love your thoughts on this and they just might work!

Overread - He has expressed a ....discomfort with the digital cameras. He has used my powershot two or three times in the past to take a shot we both liked, but that I was not physically able to get close enough to. As for post processing he has admitted he has no interest in doing that.

Mike E -- I know how to develop and print film, but sadly no longer have the space or equipment to do so.

As far as trade off of cameras...he is welcome to use my powershot, but since he has broken one of my film SLR's and damaged two of my lenses in the past - no way is he getting his hands on my Sony! The Agfa I would not let him touch with a 10 foot pole. It was my dad's camera and holds a lot of sentimental value and I know my husband and somehow he would manage to damage the bellows, I'm sure. LOL

Thank you all for your input.

Josh66 · Feb 14, 2009

Even if you don't develop your own film (I don't, yet), processing is not that expensive - certainly not to the point that I would completely stop shooting film.

Make him bring his camera. Just skip that dinner out (or whatever it may be - I'm sure there's something you can do to come up with enough money to get film developed) once a month to pay for the developing.

If you have a scanner it's even cheaper. Walmart develops for less than two bucks.

Dagwood56 · Feb 14, 2009

O|||||||O said:
Even if you don't develop your own film (I don't, yet), processing is not that expensive - certainly not to the point that I would completely stop shooting film.

Make him bring his camera. Just skip that dinner out (or whatever it may be - I'm sure there's something you can do to come up with enough money to get film developed) once a month to pay for the developing.

If you have a scanner it's even cheaper. Walmart develops for less than two bucks.

Thanks for the suggestion, but:

I no longer have a scanner as my old one was not compatible with Vista. As far as skipping the dinner out ---lets just say we've already cut a lot out of our budget to eat and heat our house and right now we'd like to keep our house.

The only reason I managed to get my DSLR, was thanks to a generous Christmas gift from my Uncle. Unfortunately not everyone has the odd $5 here and there to just play with - wish we did, but we don't.

Thanks for your input, just the same.

Josh66 · Feb 14, 2009

Well, you're paying for internet service - I don't know how important that is to you. Do you have cable? Premium channels? What about your cell phone plan, do you have more minutes than you need? What's the deductible on your auto insurance (low is always better, but sometimes it might be worth it to have a higher deductible and pay smaller premiums)? There are always things you can cut back on...

Sometimes you just have to decide which is a higher priority. Which is more important - taking pictures, or watching a movie on HBO (just an example, you get my point)?

If you decide that (film) photography is a low priority, just accept it and move on. If it's not the lowest priority, find a way to make it happen.

I still think that making him bring his own camera is the best option. If you can't do that, maybe letting him use your's when he thinks you need to get a photo of something might work. Maybe that will help him get used to digital too.

Battou · Feb 14, 2009

I'm sorry but, When it comes down to it I'm going to be the same way with my GF untill she learns to control the camera and lens, but I full well intend to carry my camera with me and take the shots I tell her to take right along side her. As a film photographer my self I'm telling you to tell him to get his own camera out and take his own shots.

Price is too high my balls, it sounds to me like he enjoys giving orders more than he enjoys photography.

abraxas · Feb 14, 2009

Dagwood56 said:
...
Do any of you have this problem, and if so how do you deal with it without making the person angry? My husband gets his feelings hurt quite easily if I say I don't like what he wants me to shoot. But it would just be so nice to walk along and shoot ONLY what I want.

He sounds spoiled, inconsiderate and rude.

There's no reason you should have to put your feelings aside so he don't whine and cry and have a tantrum. Shoot only what you want anyhow.

usayit · Feb 14, 2009

Over the years, I have learned that avoiding confrontation only makes things worse. The key is how to confront the issue tactfully without sparking an argument.

Talk to him about your feelings (not while actually on a photoshoot). Explain to him that while taking pictures the interaction is between you, the camera, and your environment. Explain that you cheerish the time by yourself.