I'm two seconds from strangling a Bride

RoRoCo · Jun 16, 2006

Big Kahuna said:
In our portrait studio in the Air Force,(30+ years ago), we had a sign in the
back wall of our studio that said. "If you want a better portrait, bring a better
face!:

{Ding Ding Ding}

Photoshop is for rendering and touching up photos... not for changing reality. I would have very little patience with a woman like that.

For a little bit a humor to calm things down Here is how the conversation would go prior to me getting fired...

Client: My shirt is too long...
Me: Maybe your legs are too short...

Client: Well can you put pants on me at least?
Me: Trust me...I would love to cover up those veiny legs of yours...But I don't have a pair that fits you. I only wear size 42s.

Client: Well my husband's cheeks are pink...
Me: Do you think it is genetic...or is he embarrassed to be with you?
Client: Not the pointcan you change the color?
Me: Depends on the colorI hear purple is inIs he a Vickings Fan?

Client: And can you make his pink shirt red?
Me: Did you want me to put words on it first? No one wants to read a blank shirt. Maybe I can write I am with stupid on it that would be funny.
Client: Absolutely not
Me: I can do it for free? Please?

Yeah...I am bored today....

Oldfireguy · Jun 16, 2006

"If you want a better portrait, bring a better
face!"

:lol:

mysteryscribe · Jun 16, 2006

Ah yes... when I was 25 I carried an almost ready to retire photographers bags to several wedding shoots. In exchange he let me shoot now and then and he gave me words of wisdom which were usually pretty close to the truth. Of course he was very, very old fashioned not like me you understand.

He was one of the most expensive photographers in our town, if not the most. He said to me after one bride had given him down the river for not shooting a picture of her aunt harriet from out of state. He didn't even bother telling her he had no idea who her aunt harriet was. He simply sent me in search of aunt harriet, so he could make her picture with the bride.

After all the noise subsided I asked him why he wasn't upset. He turned his gravely old voice towards me. "The amount of bullcrap I take is directly proportional to the amount I charge. If this was a cut-rate wedding I would have told her what I thought of her and her aunt harriet. Since it wasn't, I just smiled and said yes ma'am. They like when I smile and say yes ma'am." He had a smile that said a lot more but I understood.

Now how that applies here I'm not real sure, but it seemed like a good time to tell that story.