Kind of OT, need advice

Robin Usagani · Jan 30, 2012

jowensphoto said:
You know you're a fan of http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/...rum-photo-gallery/268546-babies-kids-tpf.html

It is one thread lol. Tired seeing of.. Hi! New member here, just bought a camera. Here is a crappy photo of my baby (or cat). Kinda like this post this guy posted!

http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/people-photography/205801-triplet-girls.html

jowensphoto · Jan 30, 2012

LOL I know what you mean.

I clicked that link in your siggy awhile back. I must say, you've come leaps and bounds! I can only hope to improve that much.

gerardo2068 · Jan 30, 2012

There's so many way you could share the photos with her in a less painfully way and you would not even have to see her face! Lol. You can set her up a Dropbox account and you too for free and share photos just by dragging them to a folder. She could get an iPad and install Dropbox in it then she can just show her friends with out have to carry so many prints (and save on ink). You can try like others said and open an account for her in Flickr. Facebook is not bad to share photos with family an you can set who have access to what in you profile. Now day you can share a photo with the world in just a few seconds.

GeorgieGirl · Jan 30, 2012

Smugmug also has a password feature for galleries.

Compaq · Jan 30, 2012

Does your MIL (that abbreviation almost feels wrong :lol:

) appreciate technically good shots, or does she just want a photo showing the kid? Wanting shots is normal, wanting someone to take all her albums is different. Maybe you should start giving her bad shots

jowensphoto · Jan 30, 2012

OMG, you know what's funny? The ones she got on Saturday were pretty bad... OOF, HORRIBLE lighting. I gave them to her to pretty much shut her up. I did make a comment about how crappy the lighting was, and she's like "Oh, well that happens." No, lady, it doesn't...because even when it does I take the time to fix it digitally. So no, she does not appreciate the technical aspects.

That's a good idea though. I'm going to give her all the "rejects" (feel terrible calling photos of my baby that... but come on, a crap photo is a crap photo) and keep the others for our home.

I'm being spiteful; to some (most) it won't make sense. But this lady is the biggest stressor in my life right now. Anyway I can make her shutup and not sacrifice my pride in the process works for me.

o hey tyler · Jan 30, 2012

Okay, I need to ask a few questions before I render advice...

A. Are you paying for the prints out of your own pocket and giving them to the MIL?
B. What size are the prints, and what does it cost you on average to have them printed?
C. Why does your MIL feel entitled to the photos? Have you sat down with her and explained that you own the photos, and printing them does not happen via your digestive tract and out your butt?

paigew · Jan 30, 2012

just give her realllllly cute pics with your logo going right thru babies face haha

EIngerson · Jan 30, 2012

o hey tyler said:
Okay, I need to ask a few questions before I render advice...

A. Are you paying for the prints out of your own pocket and giving them to the MIL?
B. What size are the prints, and what does it cost you on average to have them printed?
C. Why does your MIL feel entitled to the photos? Have you sat down with her and explained that you own the photos, and printing them does not happen via your digestive tract and out your butt?

Yup, C is it. Step up and say something.

GeorgieGirl · Jan 30, 2012

Ok... Gotta ask...and the son of the MIL...is he not stepping up and saying Mom, enough with the pressure???

jowensphoto · Jan 30, 2012

Tyler, I love that you used the word "entitled." It's a pretty popular term on the forum I mentioned earlier. LOL

I have a crappy little HP photosmart printer or whatever it's called (not even worth remembering the name haha) that I use to print, so it's not costing me much. I usually give her just little 4x6's, the occasional 5x7. The ones she got last weekend were pulled out of MY album and given to her (I was trying to play nice and thought, "Oh what the hell, I can print more."). So yeah, this has little to nothing to do with the cost of printing; it's the incessant nagging. And my time... uh, hello? I have a 3-month old. Sure, I dick around on here when I'm working, but being at work is my time to escape (we're pretty slow this time of year). It's not the time I want to deal with her annoying-ness.

Hubs definitely stands up to her. He's not the most eloquent speaker (and I love him for that!), so when he does tell her to knock it off, it usually involves a lot of f-bombs. She does this stupid giggle and says something dumb like, "Well, no...I just mean..." then doesn't finish. Effing weird. I think it's time for me to say something; I'm not as brash as he is (she'd probably cry lol), but I definitely know how to make a point. I just don't know if this is a hill to die on, so to speak.

mishele · Jan 30, 2012

Aaaahhhh, family drama!! I have a MIL so I know they can be difficult but you need to just talk it out!! If your answer is to be spiteful you are just adding to the problem. It might be more fun to be spiteful but in the end it's not going to solve any problems.....could cause more. =)

My 2 cents........

jowensphoto · Jan 30, 2012

You're right, Mishele. I'm just living in a fantasy world. My original idea was to make a group on my flickr just for her, but then I realized she'd need to be on flickr for that to work. I might just make a completely separate account for her to look at.

Again, I realize that the link is in my sig. I don't care if people from the interwebz look at it. I just don't want her on there. She'd start asking for prints of photos that have absolutely nothing to do with her. She's strage like that, I tell ya.

CCericola · Jan 30, 2012

As a stranger looking in at your situation. It seems that half the problem is your mother-in-law and half the problem is you. I doubt you can change your mother-in-law but you can take resposibility for your own hostility, stress and anger that could negativily affect both you and your child's relationship with the grandparents (Do you really want that on your concience?). Maybe some counciling is in order.

jowensphoto · Jan 30, 2012

Thanks for the input Christina.

I'm really just an "internet tough guy." I treat my MIL with the utmost (undeserved) respect. I'm constantly on eggshells to make sure I don't say anything that might offend her (which is ridiculously easy to do). It's uber-irritating when you give respect, but don't get it back.

She does this to her sons as well (she has two, hubs is the oldest). For some reason she feels like she needs to be in control and boss everyone around. She never asks you to do something; her demands (literally) are always worded, "You NEED to blah blah blah."

Perhaps she treats us like children because we don't stand up to her like adults. I may get a chance tonight; hubs (aka Brian) and I are going to the Wizards/Bulls game and the baby will be at the inlaws while we're at the game. I get off before Brian does, so I'll be at his parents house by myself. I just KNOW she will bring this up, telling me I NEED to give her the links. I will firmly tell her I will do it when I can.

If that's not good enough, I'll tell her to suck it.

Just kidding.

Thanks for letting me vent everyone. I really do appreciate outside perspectives.