Fascinating image on more than one level.
First, isn't that a "self portrait"? If so what it says about the subject is vastly more intense than is true of the common portrait.
The dark eyes, along with the generally high contrast that leaves some areas "too dark" and some "blown out", are exactly what gives the image drama and impact. They do not detract from the image, they are the image!
If that is a style you like, I would recommend exploring ways to add to the impact. For example (and I'm not particularly into that sort of thing, so these may or may not be good ideas) changing to something other than a solid green background would be good. The green is awful, and I'd bet that the right type of a pattern would add dramatically to the image. The plays on softness and blur as opposed to sharp detail are interesting, and probably should be expanded. However, specifically I think the pinkness of skin blotches should either be greatly increased or greatly decreased as opposed to other areas with pink (the eyes, for example). Brush the eyebrows backwards to make them look unkept and wild.
Essentially it looks like the image was an accident, in which you noticed a bit of drama; I'm suggesting that a bit of planning beforehand and thought put into editing afterwards can make the visual impact greater. It's a matter of less entropy in what you communicate to a viewer.