I think there is much potential in the second image. Her hair, cascading down her face becomes a veil. If the background was darker, then the brightest points in the image would be the catchlights in her eyes, which would be pretty interesting. The other issue, is that your focus is on the hair in front of her face, and not on her eyes, which weakens the impact a lot. An important element in this image for me is the tangle of hair just above her forehead, with the reflected light allowing us to see the individual strands.