I didn't give any critique on this the first time around, but you seem quite eager so I'll give my opinion for what it's worth.
Here's your edit with
my edit of your edit side by side. Obviously, as you know, it's difficult to edit an edit as the edit is edited. So editing the edit is un-editing the edit and not editing the un-edited which is simpler and would allow me to say simply; I've edited your shot.


Excuse me for doing this but it's difficult to discuss the finer points of editing with someone who refuses to see things that are obvious to the rest of us. I have therefore broken your 'no edit' rule so you can see the difference between what you do and what the rest of us can do.
Because of your experience you'll be familiar with what I did, so I shan't repeat it. But essentially you've done what a lot of digital photographers do, which is point your camera into the light. This creates a number of problems, mainly that not only do you include the very bright source of illumination, but also the objects that are lit by this illumination are also all facing away from the camera. You are left with a shot that comprises predominantly of overblown highlights and deep shadow values. Which surprises me for someone with your experience of reversal film. You must be aware that essentially you are pushing the subject outside the camera's ability to record it.
You are then forced to apply extensive editing which appears to be tone-mapping together with the inevitable increases in contrast, clarity and the boosted saturation that goes with them. What you end up with is a lot of black interspersed with a lot of thin and un-realistic colour. What I've done is in essence is to bring the colour and balance back through a process that really just adds grey. This is something I was trying to explain on another thread, that it's the contrast between colour in context that gives you the variety and impression of colour. And though it seems odd to beginners it's actually the subtraction of this grey by contrast, clarity and saturation that removes colour rather than adds it, and what I keep referring to as
subtractive processing.
I hope this helps and demonstrates that there are members on this site who's extensive experience you may benefit from.



EDIT: Because the exact details can be vague, I've included a screenshot of the essential panels for my edit that should explain in more detail what I did.