Punch him or walk away?

[graigdavis]

I wanted to see what you would do. This is mainly more for the men than the women. But Id like to hear the women’s side of this as well.

Here’s the situation: You are at the mall with your son. You are 32 years old and you have your 5 year old with you. After some father son time at the mall hanging out in the arcade and checking out women together you head out to the car to go home. While you are opening the car and getting it ready to put the kid in, your kid puts his hands on the car parked next to you. It’s a new car, but it hasn’t been washed in a long time, so there are handprints. You take the kid away from the car and brush his hands off when the owner of the van comes out of nowhere.

The guy starts flipping out. He goes off swearing up a storm at the kid. Then telling you to control your kid and yelling a bunch of other “lessons” to teach your kid, and that he now wants to teach you a lesson by kicking your butt.

Here’s where you have a decision. Do you A, ignore the guy, put the kid in the car seat and quietly drive away? Or do you B, put the kid in the car seat, turn around and take the guy out? (You know the guy doesn’t have a gun and that you could take him down no problem)

I think in many ways the world wants men to all be “nice guys”. The world expects us to fold our hands, sit down with some tea and listen. That, there is no reason for violence of any sort. I know what every man in this forum would WANT to do. I don’t care who you are, every man would want to turn around and punch him in the nose. And if you chose to just walk away, you wouldn’t be able to sleep that next few nights because you really wish you would have hit him.

I’m still not sure what I would do. I know what I would want to do, but I don’t know if I would do it. What would you do? Or ladies, what is your opinion?

 

[lizheaemma]

take this opportunity to let your son know that you are the bigger man and don't resort to violence. do you want your kid punching out his friends in the play ground cause "that's how daddy takes care of bussiness"! Though I'm sure that I wouldn't have been able to hold tongue either! "Wow look at that grown man have a temper tantrum! He looks pretty funny acting that way dosn't he! I think he needs to go home and have a nap"! At this point I probibly get punched in the nose! At least your son had seen that violence is not the answer and how controlled you can act!
You should definitly let your son know how out of line that man was and that what he did really had you angry and maybe even that you did want to punch him in the face but that that wouldn't have been right.

That's what you probibly expected from a woman's point of view! Plus a canadian to boot, eh!

 

[ferny]

I'd desperately want to hit him but I know I wouldn't. The first reason is because there would be a child there. The second is self control (I've come close to punching and even putting a knife into someone, as yet I haven't). And of course for the third reason there is a chance he'd kick my arse.
I'd be fuming but I'd use it as a good opportunity to show the child how to behave and use the guy as an example of a "very bad person" (or a ****). I don't think I'd lose sleep over it, but it'd take me hours to calm down.

 

[MDowdey]

well lets see here, ill go with everyone else here. but i will say this, if the child was in his teens, i would have not only clocked the guy, but i would have kicked him while he was down too.


md

 

[danalec99]

I would be naturally tempted to go with Option B, but I think I'll take Option A.
Ignore or maybe even smile at him. More effective than a punch.

 

[mentos_007]

thi sis what I would do if I were you in this stupid situation:
I put my 5 yr old to my car, turn around and start inteligent discussion. I begin with the words that I do not like the gys tone and style and I require a bit of respect from him. He is no one to me and I don't like to hear his shouting and behaving without any savoir-vivre rules. Then I put my hand on his car and show him that the only bad thing that happened is that my hand is dirty now and I ask him kindly to wash his car because other people might get dirty while they go to mall. Then I tell him that if he doesn't want anybode to touch his car so he should leave his car in garage and do not never use it. Then I turn around and tell him that with so uncultural people I don't talk and I start my car and ride away. Then I tell my kid that this is how we do business

but this option requires a lot of patience and usually when somebody starts shouting at me I shout at them and punch and kick if he/she is very angry.

 

[ferny]

Your nose is too pretty for that, Mentos. Try any of that and he'd thump you.

Which leads me onto an strange thought. If I saw a guy getting aggressive in any way to a woman on the street I'd probably thump him and not stop. Which is rather odd.

 

[mentos_007]

it is not odd.. it's normal... and here you can never expect what to find on the streets... women hitting man with a glass bottle.. man shouting at his wife...

 

[Alison]

"Wow look at that grown man have a temper tantrum! He looks pretty funny acting that way dosn't he! I think he needs to go home and have a nap"!

I think that's a great way to handle the situation. If our children watch the adults around them hit and yell that is what they will naturally turn to in their own situations. That's not to say that a child who has never heard a raised voice won't yell, but I do think it's a parent's reponsibility to behave in the same way we expect from our children. That situation would have made me upset and I probably would have just turned to the guy and said it was an accident and removed my child from the situation as quickly as possible. That guy obviously had more issues that just your son touching his car.

 

[ShutteredEye]

Tough one, really tough. Especially since I wasn't there to be reading the nonverbals from the guy. If it had happened to me with my child present, and his nonverbals were all talk I'd probably have ignored him, and talked with my daughter about it later--telling her about people that are unstable, and ask her to identify things about him that let her know that he was upset or threatening so she could learn from the situation and how to read people allowing her to avoid bad situations in the future.

However, you said that he was going to "teach you and your son a lesson" which in my book was a threat. And I take all threats seriously. If there was not a way extricate us from the situation I'd have definitely stood up to the guy. And that would have really pissed me off, and I would have beat the **** out of him for having the audacity to put my daughter in an unsafe situation.

What did you do?

 

[LilCujo]

hmmm...I say clock the jerk...but do it really quickly... then blame the kid when the cops come hehe j/k...seriously...clock him...so many people do things because they can. A swift hit can take them off of their high horse. No violence isn't always the answer, but it is a quick resolution :thumbsup:

 

[steve817]

It's a tough call. I remember when I was a kid. My Dad kicked some guys ass over a similar incident. While it was a pretty traumatic experience, the thought of him getting hurt, killed, or going to jail. At the same time from that point on I always knew without a doubt that he would protect me.

I just can't help but wonder if the other guy ever pulled any crap like that again. My Dad was only about 5'4" the other guy was easily over 6'.

 

[terri35 7]

Of course, you must walk away. Whether or not you'd even try to engage the guy in rational conversation is the only question here. If he's a whack job, better to teach your child by example that there are, in fact, people in the world who get angry over very silly things, and that the best thing to do is ignore these people.

Just decking every moron you run into is no way to go about business, regardless of whether you can physically do it or not. People can be idiots and love to show out, for some reason. The sooner they are dealt with by NOT having their tantrums rewarded by others pretending they deserve a rational discussion, the faster they might keep their stupid mouths shut in the future. At a minimum, they deserve the rolled eyes and silent, "You're such a jerk!" that action implies, before going about your business.

 

[KevinR]

My first reaction would be to put my child in the car, move to the back of the car and ask the guy what the f**k is his problem.

From there it's anybody's guess. I would not hesitate to protect my kid if there where any threats made toward him.

But.....yes, I would try to defuse before it came to kicking his a**. It is easier to explain your actions to your child from inside the car then from the police station.

 

[LittleMan]

Well, I am very calm when it comes to someone trash talking me, they can sit there and yell at me all day long and I will ignore him.
Even if someone hits me I'll just walk away...

but if I ever catch someone trash talking/beating up someone else... :er: they are in for it. I'll floor him and kick him while he is down. Especially if they are doing it to a lady. And yes.... I've already been in situations like that.... and yes.... he wasn't feeling too good after I got through with him.
Some people are just really stupid when they beat up some lady and tell me it's none of my business...

That's my answer... if it's the wrong way to treat someone who is beating up someone else.... then... oh well.