Sister-in-law goes to another photographer ..... and talks about it constantly

[tirediron]

I believe in keeping business and family seperate. Lot less issues involved

She may well be doing you a favour. What would happen to you relationship if, for instance she said, "Okay <Your name>, could you please do my family portraits this year?" and she doesn't like them? It may be no reflection on the quality of your work, but perhaps she likes 'boring'. If you do them and she has a problem, it's going to put a strain on your relationship. Next time she mentions it, simply say, "They look nice" and leave it at that.

 

[mishele]

AAhhhhh WOMEN!!! This is what we do to each other...lol
There are many reason why I wouldn't hire a family member to do my wedding and lot of those reasons have nothing to do w/ how good they are. I would try to step back a minute and realize her wedding isn't about you. It's about her planning out her perfect day. If she saw something she loved from another photographer then that is the way it is and she shouldn't have to feel bad about it. The whole you shouldn't talk about your wedding photographer in front of me stuff is crap too. She's excited and you need to move on. Stop making it about you. Try not to let this bother you so much. It's not worth causing waves that could last well past the wedding day. Take your camera a long and get some great shots that the hired Pro might not get !! Oh and have fun.....DRINK ON HER!!!
BTW........did you ever offer your services to her? Or were you waiting for her to ask?

 

[Tomasko]

Suck it up and stop being such a whiner

 

[gsgary]

She is doing you a big favour i wouldn't want to shoot her wedding she sounds like a right *****, so get over it and post a link to your work and throw all those photos she has given you in the bin

 

[c.cloudwalker]

Not sure why you would want to work for family. I did once, going against my own rule, and I don't talk to that person anymore as a result.

Frankly she is doing you a favor. Get over it.

If she was to hire you, your next thread would be a whine about what a ***** it is to work for family :lmao:

 

[NikonME]

If it bothers you that your SIL (or anyone) uses another Photographer, the problem is yours. Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve.

Perhaps your SIL only brings it up as a way to hold a conversation about a subject you are interested in. If she is indeed bringing it up to be a *****, call her on it and move on.

If it was me and my SIL used another photog, then came and told me how great they were.. I would say "Wonderful! I am glad you had a good experiance with them." and I would walk away happy.

 

[g-fi]

I can beat the "SIL goes to another photographer", my stepdaughter went to JCPenney's and spent over $100 on crappy studio pics of her and her kids that I could have (and would have, if asked) done for free. I've done free work for her in the past, but she just decided she wanted some expensive crappy cookie cutter stuff instead. Does it bother me? NO. It doesn't matter. Don't let it bother you, life is too short to get butthurt that someone chose another photographer over you, regardless of whether they are close family or friends or just potential clients. I don't do free work for family any more (unless I really want to!) and they know that, and if they choose another photographer because of that, it's perfectly fine with me. Being upset about the situation just makes you look like the petty one.

 

[johnh2005]

Never, ever, ever work for family. Let them go to whoever they want to. However, as you already have, just tell them to STFU about it. And seriously? Take the photos off your wall if you do not like them. It IS your house.

 

[o hey tyler]

Run naked into the vow exchange. Photographing that would be a fiasco.

It's pretty clear who would have the last laugh.

 

[Trisha W]

I had a very close family member take her kids to someone else. She than bought the disc from that photographer, and asked me to "play with them on my computer so they'll look better" and even went so far to ask if I'd order prints from my lab "and give her family discount." I told her no, and that really I was offended by the whole request. If she wants her pictures taken by someone else, that's fine, but don't ask me to "fix" them for her! I do work for some family members who are a joy, others, not so much, and with those, for some reason, our schedules seldom ever work out to take theirs...

 

[Derrel]

My sister-in-law, who I have known for more than 10 years, since her brother and I were dating and been married, uses another photographer for all her photos.>>SNIP>>
OK. Go. tell me to suck it up and stop being such a whiner. I know. I need to hear it.

Here, let me call a whaaaambulance for you, mmmkay? Must be tough. Maybe someday she'll switch? I would try to keep this from bothering me if I were you; judging by the way she talks about it, she sounds like a real passive-aggressive bi-atch type of sister-in-law. She's probably doing this deliberately, just to needle you. By worrying about it, you're playing right into her hands. If I were you, I would play this a little bit more cagey, and would start suggesting other photographers to her, with comments like, "You should have Stuart Superior do your next family photos--he's sooooooo talented.Oh, but you probably can't afford him though. Hmmm, maybe you should call and see if you could get a booking with Sally Spencer Photos...no, wait, she's probably too expensive for you too....hmmm. I KNOW!!! You might be able to get a booking with Randy Fai-san, he's that hot new Vietnamese photog in town....oh....but you probably don't like Vietnamese people, do you...hmmmm...well, anyway, I was just thinking maybe you ought to try some shots with one of the high-end people in town.Not that your guy is not good or anything, but, you know..."

Seriously---I would start making some subtle psychological warfare remarks like those above. You sister-in-law sounds like a first class bi-atch to me. If she's going to constantly keep bringing this chit up, then you SISTER, need to start fighting fire with fire, and put her in her place with some subtle innuendo about not being able to AFFORD a BETTER shooter!!!

"Fire, I'd like you to meet fire!"

 

[imagemaker46]

I would be a little annoyed if someone in my family had decided to go to another photographer, however if the other photographer was shooting in a field I wasn't comfortable in, I would understand why. On the other side relatives do expect deals from family, so you would have to decide how much to charge, perhaps not charging anything, at the risk of upsetting them, "after all you are family, so why would you charge me" This isn't how it should be, but is what is sometimes expected. As for hanging the photos on the wall, why? I get pictures of all my relatives and they get tossed in the drawer with all the other pictures, I prefer to have my own family photos on the wall. If you ever have the opportunity of shooting some nice candids of your relatives, do so, and hang those up.

I would just tell her nicely that you're not interested in hearing about the work of another photographer. Let the comments slide by, even though they do bother you, it's not worth the stress. Do your own thing and be happy.

 

[RauschPhotography]

On the other side relatives do expect deals from family, so you would have to decide how much to charge, perhaps not charging anything, at the risk of upsetting them, "after all you are family, so why would you charge me" This isn't how it should be, but is what is sometimes expected.

Exactly the reason why you shouldn't &#8203;be upset.

 

[johnh2005]

My sister-in-law, who I have known for more than 10 years, since her brother and I were dating and been married, uses another photographer for all her photos.>>SNIP>>
OK. Go. tell me to suck it up and stop being such a whiner. I know. I need to hear it.

Here, let me call a whaaaambulance for you, mmmkay? Must be tough. Maybe someday she'll switch? I would try to keep this from bothering me if I were you; judging by the way she talks about it, she sounds like a real passive-aggressive bi-atch type of sister-in-law. She's probably doing this deliberately, just to needle you. By worrying about it, you're playing right into her hands. If I were you, I would play this a little bit more cagey, and would start suggesting other photographers to her, with comments like, "You should have Stuart Superior do your next family photos--he's sooooooo talented.Oh, but you probably can't afford him though. Hmmm, maybe you should call and see if you could get a booking with Sally Spencer Photos...no, wait, she's probably too expensive for you too....hmmm. I KNOW!!! You might be able to get a booking with Randy Fai-san, he's that hot new Vietnamese photog in town....oh....but you probably don't like Vietnamese people, do you...hmmmm...well, anyway, I was just thinking maybe you ought to try some shots with one of the high-end people in town.Not that your guy is not good or anything, but, you know..."

Seriously---I would start making some subtle psychological warfare remarks like those above. You sister-in-law sounds like a first class bi-atch to me. If she's going to constantly keep bringing this chit up, then you SISTER, need to start fighting fire with fire, and put her in her place with some subtle innuendo about not being able to AFFORD a BETTER shooter!!!

"Fire, I'd like you to meet fire!"

Derrel you so mean! I like it! haha. Also, to the OP. Next time she wants to show you the photos, sit there and pick them apart. Point out every mistake made, how this or that is bad. Now, if they are perfect... Well, just say the subject is ugly... roflmao.

 

[NikonME]

Next time she wants to show you the photos, sit there and pick them apart. Point out every mistake made, how this or that is bad. Now, if they are perfect... Well, just say the subject is ugly... roflmao.

I might point out obvious errors in the photos, but if they were good, I would just say so. No need to be rude.