Man I sucked at golf today, only won $150.00. Should have won double that +. We had an all persons longest drive hole with a ridiculously long-shafted steel handled driver, right handed (I'm a lefty). Well I gave it my best shot, I hit it well but just off the fairway while the club came off at the handle.... hilarious. I temporarily had closest to the pin on both men's holes but some how lost both, I was literally within less than a foot on both. I did win $50 bucks on the mens longest drive from the throne though. There was literally a toilet on the tee box, you had to hit it, cloths on, off the toilet... my best drive of the day. I actually had to go poop after sitting on it... weird. It sparked an inner region of the lower, middle quadrant of my brain, and activated a colon quiver... which I thankfully responded to on the outhouse next hole. Our golfing couple where in tears, especially because I rigged an super long as trailer of toilet paper coming out of my shorts upon release of the plastic poop box.... Nice touch by me, the wife of the couple literally wet her pants which added to the jocularity of the situation. Good times.... I had at least a 12 foot stream of paper trailing me.