Things actually said in court

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Darfion, Feb 7, 2004.

  1. Darfion

    Darfion Soapbox guru...

    Jun 13, 2003
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    These are things people actually said in court, word for word,
    taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the
    torment of staying calm while these exchanges were taking place.
    Some of these are excellent - don't miss the last one.

    Q : What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    A : Gucci sweats and Reeboks

    Q : This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    A : Yes
    Q : And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    A : I forget.
    Q : You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've

    Q : How old is your son, the one living with you?
    A : Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    Q : How long has he lived with you?
    A : Forty-five years.

    Q : What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up
    that morning?
    A : He said, "Cathy, Where am I?"
    Q : And why did it upset you?
    A : My name is Susan.

    Q : Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
    he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

    Q : The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

    Q : Were you present at the time your picture was taken?

    Q : So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    A : Yes
    Q : And what were you doing at that time?

    Q : She had three children, right?
    A : Yes.
    Q : How many were boys?
    A : None.
    Q : Were there any girls?

    Q : How was your first marriage terminated?
    A : By death.
    Q : And by whose death was it terminated?

    Q : Can you described the individual?
    A : He was about medium height and had a beard.
    Q : Was this a male, or a female?

    Q : Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
    notice which I sent to your attorney?
    A : No, this is how I always dress when I go to work.

    Q : Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    A : All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

    Q : All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go
    A : Oral.

    Q : Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    A : The autopsy started around 8.30 p.m.
    Q : And Mr Dennington was dead at the time?
    A : No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
    autopsy on him.

    Q : Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

    Q : Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
    A : No
    Q : Did your check for blood pressure?
    A : No
    Q : Did your check for breathing?
    A : No
    Q : So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
    the autopsy?
    A : No
    Q : How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    A : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Q : But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    A : Not unless he was out practicing law somewhere.

  2. vonnagy

    vonnagy have kiwi, will travel...

    Sep 8, 2003
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    :smileys: darf, thats great - thanks for the laughs :)
  3. MDowdey

    MDowdey Guest


  4. TwistMyArm

    TwistMyArm TPF Noob!

    May 15, 2003
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    That was good Darf :lmao:
  5. mrsid99

    mrsid99 TPF Supporters Supporting Member

    Mar 8, 2003
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    Thanks for the laughs Darren!

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