Greetings,
I'm not sure if this will qualify as a 'rant'. It's something that is bothering me. I can feel the sweltering fear combined with a genuine fuming hate as I type this.
I've recently moved into a quiet, nice little slice of suburbia. We looked for ages to find an appropriate area to put up tent stakes. Our house is on 1.72 acres of real estate that abuts a nice drainage pond. We carefully observed the neighbors on both sides of this house on several occasions. They seemed perfectly normal.
The movers brought our furniture in the moving van on a balmy overcast morning. This should have been a sign of the coming apocalyptic dread we now face.
As the movers unloaded the truck I was surveying my landscape taking mental snapshots of what I proposed to do. The first thing was to repair the fence to the backyard. The second was to start a new garden. As I walked, I felt an unnerving feeling. A feeling of someone watching. I looked around and saw no one. I shrugged it off as imagination playing tricks on me.
Days later I started working on my garden. I was excited at the prospect of reaping the bounty of fresh vegetables by my own hand. Again, I got that peculiar feeling of being watched. I turned to look up and saw 'them'. I almost yelled out from the shock.
The neighbor had kids. I never have seen them before. I was creepily freaked out by them. The only thing missing from the exchange of glances was eerie horror film movie music.
I struck up enough nerve to speak to the demon twins. I said, "Hello, you scared me I didn't see you." They just looked smugly indifferent. I said, "You two live next door?" They answered in a robotic monotone "Yes."
I was confused as to what I should do next. I said, "Wow it's hot out here. I better get indoors for a bit." They just nodded as I slowly walked toward the house. I could feel their gaze never leave me as I retreated.
Well this scenario played out almost exactly the same way for weeks. I finally got the fence repaired enough to repel them. I finally felt safe from the 'zombie kids'.
I worked in my garden and I got that same feeling. The nagging feeling of being watched. I looked and noticed the gate was shut. I was alone. I looked closely and saw 'them'. They were staring through the pickets at me.
I grew aggravated until I finally yelled, "WHAT! WHAT! Hasn't your mother told you it's impolite to stare?" They simply turned in unison and slowly creepily sulked away.
I'm waiting to be awaken to the sound of them saying "he who walks behind the rows." As I'm convinced they are Children of the Corn.
YES, dammit I'm living next to the Children of the Corn.
Don't get me started on my other neighbor...