Top five regrets of the dying

[limr]

I also regret the no sex while bungee jumping. I think that would take a really good sense of timing.

Lew, you need to come with a warning label. I now have to explain to my tech support guy why my energy drink is all over my keyboard effectively killing it.

It came out my nose and it hurts!

That WAS the warning

 

[hamlet]

I'd say dying would be the #1 thing I regret.

not taxes?

 

[pgriz]

Great find, Mishele. A useful reminder to all of us to have a little introspection from time to time, and see if we're heading our life in the right direction.

My wife, among the many things she does, coordinates the activities of a seniors group of about 400 members. These are active seniors in our town, who get together for talk, dance, trips, concerts, and the like that my wife plans and organizes biweekly. The seniors range from about 70 years of age to over 100. She's gotten very close to a number of them, and she often talks to me about what the seniors are teaching her. While YOLO is generally attributed to the younger crowd, many of these seniors try to live life to the fullest, in the "now", because as we all are aware, we can all go, at any time, for any reason. Most are also quite happy, as a choice. That was a bit of a revelation to me - that happiness is not the end result of something, but a way of looking at the world. And once our own happiness is a choice, then we don't need to "play the game" looking for the acceptance or feedback that we usually think will make us happy. That links #1 to #5, and even to each of the ones in between. As I said, it was a revelation to me.

 

[kundalini]

I think #3 needs a twist. I don't have any problems expressing my feelings most of the time, but there are many people, past and present, that I wish I had told how much positive impact they had in my life. The words "I love you" are often gone astray.


3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

 

[pjaye]

I also regret the no sex while bungee jumping. I think that would take a really good sense of timing.

Lew, you need to come with a warning label. I now have to explain to my tech support guy why my energy drink is all over my keyboard effectively killing it.

It came out my nose and it hurts!

That WAS the warning

Duly noted! (Seriously, all newbies should be messaged with a warning about him!). Consider it a lesson learned.

 

[terri]

I have to say that I've never really lived my life according to what other people expect of me, though perhaps now the people who have known me for a long time expect me to be as contrary as I've always been When I was younger, my very strict parents had tight control over my decisions, but then came the fateful day when they sent me off to college. After that, all bets were off.

Now, why doesn't this come as a surprise? :razz: You git 'em, girl!

For me, #1 has more to do with the natural demands that come with being a parent. It's less about doing what is expected and more about it not being all about yourself anymore, especially when they are very young. I think the secret might be not to forget to get back to being your true self once they leave the nest...kick that rut right into the next county and figure out your next phase.

 

[oldhippy]

Had 8 kids in this life, planning celibate in the next. After that who knows, I might be a hooker.
don't regret the kids. Love them all. But 8 was enough.

 

[The_Traveler]

I think that those of you who are younger have no idea how tiny one's world was when I was in high school. I grew up fairly poor (very poor by today's standards) and went to college in Massachusetts at age 16, graduating when I was just turned 20. I was the first college student, let alone graduate in my family and it was expected that I would get as far as I could to get a profession as quickly as I could. I had never been further from home than New York and was on a career path and married before I had any conception of what the world was like. I married my college sweetheart and we had 3 children by the time I was 25.
It seemed like there was no option except an inevitable narrow path to a profession.

When I look back, I am such a different person now than I was then, it is inconceivable to me that my life would be any different than it is now. I really can't regret anything I did because there was such an inevitability to my life. I envy those who had the opportunities to see possibilities.
I am not so much unhappy with the way things ended up as I am disappointed that my future is foreclosed in a real way.

 

[The_Traveler]

Had 8 kids in this life, planning celibate in the next. After that who knows, I might be a hooker.
don't regret the kids. Love them all. But 8 was enough.

Did you miss an important lecture somewhere?

 

[oldhippy]

Had 8 kids in this life, planning celibate in the next. After that who knows, I might be a hooker.
don't regret the kids. Love them all. But 8 was enough.

Did you miss an important lecture somewhere?

part catholic, part rabbit. Didn't read Melthuse ," biological urge, super cedes intellectual capabilities to provide sustenance "
until way to late in the game.

 

[The_Traveler]

Had 8 kids in this life, planning celibate in the next. After that who knows, I might be a hooker.
don't regret the kids. Love them all. But 8 was enough.

Did you miss an important lecture somewhere?

part catholic, part rabbit. Didn't read Melthuse ," biological urge, super cedes intellectual capabilities to provide sustenance "
until way to late in the game.

it's not difficult to guess which part was rabbit.

 

[mishele]

You know, after my mother's death a few years ago I changed my outlook on life a little bit. I decide I was going to say "YES" way more than "NO". I've pushed myself to places I thought I could never go. I've really decided to live and take chances. I know my mother never got to live life to the fullest, I'm now trying to do a little of that. =)

 

[skieur]

I'd say dying would be the #1 thing I regret.

Why? It happens sooner or later to everyone.

 

[mmaria]

I regret I didn't smile enough, love myself enough and didn't let other people to love me enough.


and I think I'm going to completely disagree with this one rexbobcat and limr

The only hong I kind of disagree with is the point about happiness is a choice. Maybe like 90% of the time it is, but depending on the person happiness isn't always something you can just choose to feel.

Happiness is a matter of choice! Always look at the glass as a half full, not a half empty.

Trust me, it isn't something I'm saying out of the blue. It is something that I had to choose to think and feel in order to feel any kind of happiness when dealing with all circumstances I came across.

Much earlier in my life I was forced to think about the death and regrets. Even now, when I'm about to make any decision I ask myself: What would you do if you die tomorrow?

I'm thinking what to write in order to justify my strong disagreeing but at the same time not to be so personal. There are plenty things in my life that you can call unfortunate, sad, bad or else. But after years and years of dealing with things because I had to I decided it was enough sad feelings, so I'll deal with things with a smile.

I didn't have childhood. Didn't have "normal" parents. Didn't have money. Didn't have almost anything I wanted to have, material and non material.
I had strict, controlling, making trouble, alcoholic father and sensitive, unhappy, unfulfilled, depressed mother. They gave me, among some good stuff, complexes, traumas and emotional scars.
I had a war. I had nothing in that period and depended on good people for some basic needs.
I had health problems.
I finished high school I didn't want and have a master degree I don't like.
Everything I said I don't want to happen in my life, well, it happen in my life...The only certainty in my life was that tomorrow will come with more problems then yesterday.

Somewhere in my path I lost smile. I was angry, furious, depressed, serious, stiff....Why? Just because that's a normal reaction on things that happened to me. But one day I was tired of being like that and choose to be a happy person. It wasn't easy though.

The only good constant thing was that I'm a really good friend and I made some really good friends.

Now I live in a place I've never wanted to live, have no friends around me, work on a job I don't like... but somehow it seems that I'm right there where I should be...

My happiness is build on some little, non material things, which most of people wont notice, and I have plenty of them.

This life gives you things/situations/people you have strength to cope with, so why wouldn't you cope with all this with a smile? Even if it's a fake, tinny one. It still counts as a smile.

I wrote all of this, because maybe someone will stop for a moment and truly think about the fact that a happiness is a choice, not some feeling that only entitled people own. And that all it matters in a life is happiness.

No matter who you are, where you are, what is happening to you, and how many days you have left in this world... you simply have to find a reason inside of you to be happy, not ecstatic but truly happy.

Sorry for this long story...

 

[EIngerson]

Had 8 kids in this life, planning celibate in the next. After that who knows, I might be a hooker. don't regret the kids. Love them all. But 8 was enough.

True statement, lol. They even made a tv show about it. God bless you Hippy, two was enough for me to take Bob Barkers advice.