ilyfel
TPF Noob!
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2007
- Messages
- 526
- Reaction score
- 0
- Location
- Wichita, KS
- Website
- www.myspace.com
- Can others edit my Photos
- Photos OK to edit
Well with my current situation I figured I could use a few laughs.. this is a joke.. but you never know... 
What's your full name:
Age:
Birthday:
Your current location:
Penis size:
Location of X-girlfriends, their level of jealousy, propensity towards violence, and likelihood of owning a firearm:
Are you willing to commute / relocate?:
Number of times prefer sex per week?:
Height:
Weight:
At what altitude?:
Body Type:
Do we already know each other?:
Smoke?:
Drink?:
IF yes, Tend to pass out?:
If so, what's your favorite drink?:
What are your fears?:
What have past girlfriends said they fear most about you?:
Estimated number of times past girlfriends have called you "psycho":
Number of legal issues you've had with girlfriends, past or pending:
Do you currently have any restraining orders against you?:
If so, list each and its court defined official reason:
Why Are you Applying?:
Can you cook?:
Favorite sexual position:
Favorite sexual act in public:
Have you done or do any drugs?:
If so please list
Do you get along with your parents/siblings/family?:
Would I have to?:
Do you consider yourself to be successful?: (define success)
Where is your ideal vacation spot?:
What are some things that are wrong with you?:
What is something about you that you try but are usually unsuccessful at hiding?:
Can you see a doctor and get rid of it?:
What do we have in common (Besides admiration and love for me)?:
Piercings?:
If so, where?:
Tattoos?:
If so, Where?
Why would you make a good b/f for me?:
Have you ever been convicted of a felony or misdemeanor other than a traffic offense? If so please explain....
Are you currently on the rebound/in love with another girl/ trying to get serious with someone else?
Have you ever called a woman a **** to her face? If so please explain in detail?
Have you ever hit or physically injured a woman or child?
Have you ever been expelled from a school/fired from a job. If so please explain
Do you have a psychotic ex?
Will my life be endangered in any way by dating you?
Do you want to get married and start a family in the near future?
If so how near?
Do you make it a habit to lie on a regular basis about stupid ****?
If so do you do it because you feel the other person is too inferior to know that you are lying?
How do you treat your mother?
Will you put me first in your life? This doesn't mean giving up your job, band, school to be with me but more relating to that I know I am an important part of your life.
Would you brag to everyone if you had me as a girlfriend?
Do you plan on using me to get to a friend?
Have you cheated on a girlfriend in the past?
Is it a regular trend?
Have any ex had to go into therapy after dating you?
If I told you I felt like crap and didn't want to see you, would you still show up at my door with flowers, chocolate and a kiss just to see me smile?
If I actually was sick would you come take care of me even if it meant holding my hair back if I was throwing up, holding me while I cried, and waiting patiently if I was having a panic attack from bs drama?
Would you support me through problems with friends and family?
Would you be able to say you loved me even in front of your friends?
Who are three of your favorite bands/artists?
Do you like movies?
If so would you stay up and watch them with me all night?
ticklefights are fun, right?
Do you play an instrument?
If so...what?
What would you say is the best thing about yourself? worst?
Do you like photography?
do you like to cuddle?
what do you do for fun?
How many sexual partners have you had, and do any of them have STDs?
Describe your family in detail.
Describe your job.
Do you like animals?
What kind?
What is the most interesting place you have ever had sex?
What is your favorite type of food?
What kind of beer do you prefer?
Can you be romantic?
Do you expect sex on the first date?
If so, many points will be deducted.
What is your favorite color?
What is your favorite book?
Some requirements-
You must respect me at all times.
No degrading behavior toward females.
Eat what I cook.
You must enjoy cleaning, because I do not.
Be nice to your mom.
Enjoy washing and waxing my car.
Must enjoy Budweiser products.
Be able to dress well without my assistance.
Be able to explain hockey, baseball and football rules to me.
Enjoy South Park, Family Guy and xbox games.
Be willing to partake in sex at any time.
Make up songs and sing them to me.
Take care of me when I'm sick.
Appreciate my tattoos.
Maintain an exceptionally clean mouth.
Give back rubs, and hand/foot massages.
Have grilling experience.
Be a competent drink mixer.
Must be able to accept that I am a bed & cover hog.
Play with my hair.
Enjoy and understand cameras, and let me photograph you.
Surprise me.
Drive fast with just a hint of occasional road rage.
Appreciate art.
Like to cuddle naked and clothed.
Have great organizational skills, because mine aren't that fine-tuned.
No affairs.
Be open to sexual experimentation (no threesomes).
Meet the approval of my best friend prior to first date (an interview with her may be necessary - this is a rigorous test).
Have good communication skills, and enjoy talking about nonsense.
Like bamboo windchimes.
Enjoy movies.
Must love to dress up for Halloween.
Have cool friends.
Like spicy food.
Be able to clean glass without leaving streaks.
Think I am still cool, even when I'm not being cool.
Do not lie to me ever.
Make me laugh. A lot.
Be willing to purchase tampons, if in an emergency situation.
Enjoy shopping at Victoria's Secret.
Think Harry Potter is a great wizard.
Have attractive and properly moisturized hands.
What Would You do if...
I cried:
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I wanted to have sex with you:
I touched your ass:
I was hospitalized:
I got in a fight and you were there:
I got dumped:
I pissed you off:
I called you, hystericaly crying:
I told you I would never let you go:
What Do You Think Of My...
Personality:
Eyes:
Face:
Hair:
Clothes:
Humor:
Choice of music:
Manners:
Friends:
Decisions:
Body:
sense of humor:
Would You...
keep up with me:
Be my friend even if our relationship ended:
Tell me the truth no matter what:
Make me a birthday gift:
Lie to make me feel better:
Spread rumors about me:
Come see me at 3am because I was upset:
Keep a secret if I told you one:
Picnic with me:
Play make believe at a park:
Make me a snack:
Try and solve my problems:
Love me:
Never want to leave my side:
Hold me in times of need:
Ditch me:
Use me:
Hold me and make my problems go away:
Shop with me:
Have giggle attacks with me:
What's your full name:
Age:
Birthday:
Your current location:
Penis size:
Location of X-girlfriends, their level of jealousy, propensity towards violence, and likelihood of owning a firearm:
Are you willing to commute / relocate?:
Number of times prefer sex per week?:
Height:
Weight:
At what altitude?:
Body Type:
Do we already know each other?:
Smoke?:
Drink?:
IF yes, Tend to pass out?:
If so, what's your favorite drink?:
What are your fears?:
What have past girlfriends said they fear most about you?:
Estimated number of times past girlfriends have called you "psycho":
Number of legal issues you've had with girlfriends, past or pending:
Do you currently have any restraining orders against you?:
If so, list each and its court defined official reason:
Why Are you Applying?:
Can you cook?:
Favorite sexual position:
Favorite sexual act in public:
Have you done or do any drugs?:
If so please list
Do you get along with your parents/siblings/family?:
Would I have to?:
Do you consider yourself to be successful?: (define success)
Where is your ideal vacation spot?:
What are some things that are wrong with you?:
What is something about you that you try but are usually unsuccessful at hiding?:
Can you see a doctor and get rid of it?:
What do we have in common (Besides admiration and love for me)?:
Piercings?:
If so, where?:
Tattoos?:
If so, Where?
Why would you make a good b/f for me?:
Have you ever been convicted of a felony or misdemeanor other than a traffic offense? If so please explain....
Are you currently on the rebound/in love with another girl/ trying to get serious with someone else?
Have you ever called a woman a **** to her face? If so please explain in detail?
Have you ever hit or physically injured a woman or child?
Have you ever been expelled from a school/fired from a job. If so please explain
Do you have a psychotic ex?
Will my life be endangered in any way by dating you?
Do you want to get married and start a family in the near future?
If so how near?
Do you make it a habit to lie on a regular basis about stupid ****?
If so do you do it because you feel the other person is too inferior to know that you are lying?
How do you treat your mother?
Will you put me first in your life? This doesn't mean giving up your job, band, school to be with me but more relating to that I know I am an important part of your life.
Would you brag to everyone if you had me as a girlfriend?
Do you plan on using me to get to a friend?
Have you cheated on a girlfriend in the past?
Is it a regular trend?
Have any ex had to go into therapy after dating you?
If I told you I felt like crap and didn't want to see you, would you still show up at my door with flowers, chocolate and a kiss just to see me smile?
If I actually was sick would you come take care of me even if it meant holding my hair back if I was throwing up, holding me while I cried, and waiting patiently if I was having a panic attack from bs drama?
Would you support me through problems with friends and family?
Would you be able to say you loved me even in front of your friends?
Who are three of your favorite bands/artists?
Do you like movies?
If so would you stay up and watch them with me all night?
ticklefights are fun, right?
Do you play an instrument?
If so...what?
What would you say is the best thing about yourself? worst?
Do you like photography?
do you like to cuddle?
what do you do for fun?
How many sexual partners have you had, and do any of them have STDs?
Describe your family in detail.
Describe your job.
Do you like animals?
What kind?
What is the most interesting place you have ever had sex?
What is your favorite type of food?
What kind of beer do you prefer?
Can you be romantic?
Do you expect sex on the first date?
If so, many points will be deducted.
What is your favorite color?
What is your favorite book?
Some requirements-
You must respect me at all times.
No degrading behavior toward females.
Eat what I cook.
You must enjoy cleaning, because I do not.
Be nice to your mom.
Enjoy washing and waxing my car.
Must enjoy Budweiser products.
Be able to dress well without my assistance.
Be able to explain hockey, baseball and football rules to me.
Enjoy South Park, Family Guy and xbox games.
Be willing to partake in sex at any time.
Make up songs and sing them to me.
Take care of me when I'm sick.
Appreciate my tattoos.
Maintain an exceptionally clean mouth.
Give back rubs, and hand/foot massages.
Have grilling experience.
Be a competent drink mixer.
Must be able to accept that I am a bed & cover hog.
Play with my hair.
Enjoy and understand cameras, and let me photograph you.
Surprise me.
Drive fast with just a hint of occasional road rage.
Appreciate art.
Like to cuddle naked and clothed.
Have great organizational skills, because mine aren't that fine-tuned.
No affairs.
Be open to sexual experimentation (no threesomes).
Meet the approval of my best friend prior to first date (an interview with her may be necessary - this is a rigorous test).
Have good communication skills, and enjoy talking about nonsense.
Like bamboo windchimes.
Enjoy movies.
Must love to dress up for Halloween.
Have cool friends.
Like spicy food.
Be able to clean glass without leaving streaks.
Think I am still cool, even when I'm not being cool.
Do not lie to me ever.
Make me laugh. A lot.
Be willing to purchase tampons, if in an emergency situation.
Enjoy shopping at Victoria's Secret.
Think Harry Potter is a great wizard.
Have attractive and properly moisturized hands.
What Would You do if...
I cried:
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I wanted to have sex with you:
I touched your ass:
I was hospitalized:
I got in a fight and you were there:
I got dumped:
I pissed you off:
I called you, hystericaly crying:
I told you I would never let you go:
What Do You Think Of My...
Personality:
Eyes:
Face:
Hair:
Clothes:
Humor:
Choice of music:
Manners:
Friends:
Decisions:
Body:
sense of humor:
Would You...
keep up with me:
Be my friend even if our relationship ended:
Tell me the truth no matter what:
Make me a birthday gift:
Lie to make me feel better:
Spread rumors about me:
Come see me at 3am because I was upset:
Keep a secret if I told you one:
Picnic with me:
Play make believe at a park:
Make me a snack:
Try and solve my problems:
Love me:
Never want to leave my side:
Hold me in times of need:
Ditch me:
Use me:
Hold me and make my problems go away:
Shop with me:
Have giggle attacks with me:
Then you can test my abundant virtues and charms in person.
