Every couple changes over time. That is both normal and natural. However, if the two don't change at the same pace, and in the same general direction, then it is quite possible to grow apart even with the best of intentions. To keep that distance bridgeable, both need to talk, share their expectations and views, share activities, and compromise. The latter is a dirty word in some circles, but it is a necessary thing - good if both do it, not so good if it's always the same person doing the compromising. Shared history is a good basis for a relationship, but going forward, there has also to be evolution. My wife does things with me that she'd not be that interested in otherwise (think visiting certain places or doing sports), but she does it to make me happy, and I do the same with her (think movies, museums, antique shops), because I enjoy her company and making her happy also makes me happy. We're also OK spending time apart from each other - we're fully independent people who choose to be together. How long will our relationship last? Who knows? It's been going on for 36 years now, and I'm hoping it's good for another 30. But it does take constant work and effort from both of us. Good, strong relationships happen effortlessly only in fairy tales. I hope both of you rediscover the good you saw in each other and that you and your husband figure out how to rebuild the trust and nurture the support. But in the end, it does take two to tango.
