A new one for ripping apart!

[jterry85]

Well, here is one more that I have been working on for C&C. Feel free to rip it apart piece by piece, although if you do that literally you will have wasted your ink and paper so I don't recommend that! It's a shot I took while in Verdun, France and I think it turned out well, I took several shots but I think this one turned out best.

 

[Diver_matt]

I'm pretty sure you've got a lot more shutter time than I so take it as you wish but....

To my untrained eye the exposure looks great. However, it's too tightly cropped for my taste. I'd like to see more of what the building was (military fort, prison, etc). The shadow on the front wall is confusing my eye. What was casting that shadow?

 

[jterry85]

I actually hadn't really looked at that shadow before you mentioned it and now I'm curious as well. It seems as though the shadow is creating its own shadow.... strange. Do you think it would look better without the shadow? I kind of like it as something to breakup the large amount of stone surface shown in the subject. I'd be willing to do an edit with it removed just to see though, editing my vacation photos is the closest to photography I get these days until I get home so I'm always looking for an excuse!

As for the rest of the wall I would love to be able to show you however this gate is all that remains. In fact there are a few freestanding gates in Verdun, France that are remnants of the old wall that surrounded the city. If you look closely you can see a section of the gate where the wall was removed at the bottom lefthand corner of the gate. It's not visible at this angle but today a road goes through and around it which was my biggest problem when I was trying to get a head on shot of it.

I will edit some more and repost, I'll also try and remove that lightpole. Thanks for the C&C!

Joe

 

[Compaq]

What is it that you want C&C on? Why did you take the picture (what is it you want to show us)?

 

[greybeard]

Looking at your photo it gives me a feeling of confusion. I think the lighting at this time of day is just too harsh and creates really dark shadows that don't compliment the building. I might like it better in BW, but that is just me. As far as "what are you trying to say?" I have always felt that it is up to the viewer to draw their own meaning from art. Art for art sake etc. etc. In other words, it is what it is....If you have to explain it, the viewer will probably never get it anyway.

 

[Compaq]

I'd like to know it to be able to judge whether the OP succeeded with his/hers vision with this image (according to mem, ofc).

C&C isn't art. When you ask for C&C, I think you ought to tell me why you took it. This isn't an art showing, and in this thread, this isn't art... it's a pic to be "ripped".

 

[Diver_matt]

Yeah.... I like what the shadow does for the wall. But you said it well, looks like the shadow is casting a shadow. GB, I agree. Of all the photos, I think it's incredibly obvious what he was trying to show. If the viewer doesn't get it, so be it. I'm pretty sure no explanation would result in "Ohhh....okay. I see now". Ha! ha!

 

[jterry85]

Compaq you irritate me with your sense making,lol. Making me explain to you actually gives me a bit of that answer myself. The gate itself is a very large and formidable presence, one that when you see it it instantly grabs your attention. This is mostly due to the fact that it is out of place in its current surroundings, a lonely relic leftover from the old days of war and defense. It's size is impressive, as the woman in the picture can show. As I'm explaining it I realize that my composition doesn't reflect this as well as I would like since the gate fills the majority of the picture, however the everpresent cars and pedestrians were unrelenting in their moving through and around the gate.

Me personally I think the lighting worked as it was coming from my right and shining directly on the gate. I'm always interested to hear different opinions though

Here is another edit in which I removed the lightpole from in front of the gate. I zoomed in on the shadow that was mentioned on the wall and it appears to actually be something on the wall itself and its reflection in the water.

 

[Joey_Ricard]

What are we C&Cing? Overall?

My C&C is for the composition. If it is meant to be a picture of a potrion of a structure and bridge, then that is what it is.
This image (or crop of) doesn't tell a story nor does it lead the viewer anywhere.

 

[Compaq]

Compaq you irritate me with your sense making,lol. Making me explain to you actually gives me a bit of that answer myself. The gate itself is a very large and formidable presence, one that when you see it it instantly grabs your attention. This is mostly due to the fact that it is out of place in its current surroundings, a lonely relic leftover from the old days of war and defense. It's size is impressive, as the woman in the picture can show. As I'm explaining it I realize that my composition doesn't reflect this as well as I would like since the gate fills the majority of the picture, however the everpresent cars and pedestrians were unrelenting in their moving through and around the gate.

Me personally I think the lighting worked as it was coming from my right and shining directly on the gate. I'm always interested to hear different opinions though

Here is another edit in which I removed the lightpole from in front of the gate. I zoomed in on the shadow that was mentioned on the wall and it appears to actually be something on the wall itself and its reflection in the water.

Did you see what happened there? You formulated your intent with words, and explained that to me. You also reflected upon your shot objectively, and came with an improved edit in which you removed that hideous pole All for the better. You need to learn to be your own critic as well as depend upon opinions from other people.

I'm glad you rid yourself of that pole, it did not belong in the shot and only took attention. I don't feel the impressive size is very apparent. Of course, it depends on what we think of as "impressive size". It's clearly big, and that person i essential in establishing that to the viewer. As you mentioned, the light is coming from behind your right. I fear it's going straight onto the building, as the lighting is very flat. There is little texture in the rocks, which I think would be more apparent should the light come from the side.
The flag doesn't play a major role as it's not blowing in the wind. More of a distraction, imho. The woman could put on another jacket, she's almost blending with the building. Overall, there's little contrast in here. Again, the flat lighting plays a role there.

It does not make me go "wow". It's a decent shot, but I feel there haven't been much thought put down into the composition. The angle isn't overly interesting, imo, with distractive elements on the left side (the continuation of the building).

Exposure is fine, it seems (I don't have the EXIF), but it seems rather soft. Those are my own reflections, at least.

 

[jterry85]

C&C the technical aspects of the photograph, give me advice on what to improve... If the photograph doesn't tell you a story then feel free to let me know but storytelling is not the point of this photograph, portraying an important historical monument in a well thought out, heck just good looking manner is. The subject is the gate, I wanted to capture the subject in a good photograph, did I do this?

 

[Compaq]

It's hard for me to judge, as I have no idea how that thing looks like. All I see is your picture, and I don't feel I get the impression of this being an important historical monument. It's like asking me to buy your car, but only showing me a picture of the front.

I'd say you did not succeed, but it's hard for me to judge as I have no idea what it is not how it would make me feel if I looked at it in person. But it's a decent shot, though nothing spectacular (to me).

 

[jterry85]

Thanks Compaq, the trip I took this on was my first real attempt at photography so I think mostly for me it was all about getting the technical aspects down as well as documenting my trip. I have decided that with all the lessons I've been learning I will have to force my wife to go back to Paris with me so I can try again! Although I don't think that will really take much forcing. Thanks again!

Joe

 

[Compaq]

You got a heck of a lot of equipment for only starting out. As in insanely much. Why?

 

[sm4him]

The gate itself is a very large and formidable presence, one that when you see it it instantly grabs your attention. This is mostly due to the fact that it is out of place in its current surroundings, a lonely relic leftover from the old days of war and defense. It's size is impressive, as the woman in the picture can show. As I'm explaining it I realize that my composition doesn't reflect this as well as I would like since the gate fills the majority of the picture...

It's just too tight of a crop to effectively show the viewer that it's that impressive, or out of place in its surroundings. We can't SEE any surroundings, so we get no sense of scale or *how* it's out of place.
There's the woman, sure, but especially with that building-colored top on, she doesn't exactly stand out to give us a sense of scale.

Here's the gate in a photo that shows more of its surroundings: Gate in Verdun, France

Now, that photo is pretty awful in its own rights, but it does at least show us something of the surroundings and gives me a sense of why it would "instantly grab your attention."

I like the angle from which you've taken the shot; I just wish we saw more of the area around the gate.