Business vs Pleasure Dilemma

[sscarmack]

I'll make this quick.

Met girl at the gym last year.
Became pretty close (friends).
Went on date, had a great time, "nothing happened" (last week).
We talk everyday.
Yesterday she wanted to do a fitness shoot, so I was pumped.
Hour before shoot, she changed her mind and wanted to do a boudoir style shoot.

Little timid about saying yes because I kinda like this girl, and didn't want to "cross that line" between business and pleasure.

At first she was a little nervous, a little self conscious about her body and what not. So we joked around to lighten the mood, put on some music and just went with the flow.

The shoot went great. Got some fantastic shots.

We had about 20 minutes left (before she had to leave), and she looked at me and said "How comfortable are you?". I was a little confused and responded "Veryyyyy????".

So she proceeded to take her top off and wanted to do a more seductive shot.

I stayed very professional the whole time and never once touched her. lol

But it brings up the question, can this lead to role playing, or should I never cross that line haha


Where do you draw the line?????

 

[The_Traveler]

Did money change hands?

 

[sscarmack]

Did money change hands?

No. "Just for fun."

 

[The_Traveler]

Tbh, I would be careful and have a regular date or two before anything goes further.
Establish a dating relationship that is clearly separate from the quasi-business relationship you have now.
Give her pictures and get a signed release.

 

[gsgary]

If it was me I would just go with the flow who knows what could happen next time she could be trying to seduce you

 

[Derrel]

Well...if you gave her the business, there would most likely be pleasure all around...
But I think it would be a good idea to stop the photography sessions and start seeing her socially before giving her the business...

 

[pixmedic]

Pics or it didn't happen

 

[astroNikon]

This is simple

Keep it strictly business ...
. . . . . . . and give me her phone number

lol

 

[sscarmack]

Pics or it didn't happen

Screenshot is the best I can do right now...And she doesn't want the topless ones posted anywhere so I agreed, in respect of her wishes.

 

[table1349]

HEYYYYY.....What are you doing taking photos like that of my LITTLE SISTER.

I'll MOWDER DA BUM. Wait till I call my uncle Joe, Joe Merlino.

 

[JohnnyWrench]

It sounds to me like she's shamelessly flirting with you and just used the photography angle as an excuse to get naked in front of you. Especially since no money was involved and it quickly went from fitness to boudoir to topless... ARE YOU BLIND MAN??? LOL!

I don't see any business being conducted here. I say it's go time.

 

[vintagesnaps]

Slippery slope... Although I'd think it could be risky having boudoir photos done in a less than professional situation, you're friends so I suppose there's a certain amount of trust.

But once you get into taking photos for anyone it seems better to have a release signed and everything in writing. If the friendship develops into more and then later goes downhill you might regret ever having done this. Other favors for friends aren't like photography where there's now a visual record of it. You don't want it to somehow come back to bite you.

From now on I'd keep the photography professional, if you want to pursue the relationship then keep the camera out of it. I don't know if she wants a relationship that's more than being friends or if she just wanted a free photo session. It might be better to establish policies related to your photography, such as charging for photo sessions, no more freebies for friends, etc.

 

[sscarmack]

It sounds to me like she's shamelessly flirting with you and just used the photography angle as an excuse to get naked in front of you. Especially since no money was involved and it quickly went from fitness to boudoir to topless... ARE YOU BLIND MAN??? LOL!

I don't see any business being conducted here. I say it's go time.

She's already planning the second shoot....lol

Slippery slope... Although I'd think it could be risky having boudoir photos done in a less than professional situation, you're friends so I suppose there's a certain amount of trust.

But once you get into taking photos for anyone it seems better to have a release signed and everything in writing. If the friendship develops into more and then later goes downhill you might regret ever having done this. Other favors for friends aren't like photography where there's now a visual record of it. You don't want it to somehow come back to bite you.

From now on I'd keep the photography professional, if you want to pursue the relationship then keep the camera out of it. I don't know if she wants a relationship that's more than being friends or if she just wanted a free photo session. It might be better to establish policies related to your photography, such as charging for photo sessions, no more freebies for friends, etc.

I really appreciate the wise words. I will be sure to get things set in stone and make sure we're on the same page.



Maybe there will be some role playing in my near future lol

 

[vintagesnaps]

Having looked at your website (which I'm sure I looked at some time ago but didn't realize how much photography you were doing) - it's obvious you're doing paid work in portraits, etc. So if she's a friend she knows this doesn't she?? Asking a friend to do a favor of an entire photo session considering the cost seems a lot to ask.

And I'd think about taking down that screen shot til you get permission in writing to use it in any way. She wants another date or another photo session?? I don't know what her intention is but I guess you'll find out soon enough.

 

[sscarmack]

Having looked at your website (which I'm sure I looked at some time ago but didn't realize how much photography you were doing) - it's obvious you're doing paid work in portraits, etc. So if she's a friend she knows this doesn't she?? Asking a friend to do a favor of an entire photo session considering the cost seems a lot to ask.

And I'd think about taking down that screen shot til you get permission in writing to use it in any way. She wants another date or another photo session?? I don't know what her intention is but I guess you'll find out soon enough.

Yeah I do a lot of paid work already.

The fitness shoot was my idea. I wanted to test out my new 85 so I wasn't going to charge her.

And then she threw me a curveball with the 'boudoir', something I've never done before and I just went with it.

She wants to take more photos, and I'm all for it.

But I need to clearly define where we stand and what we both want before it goes any further.