Could I do something more here?

[twoboysnmygirl]

I've been playing with this shot and I like it for the most part, just wondering if I could get some ideas of what could make it better. I know I cut his leg off, I'm always cutting limbs off! :gah: I also think it would have been better to get more of the mother in the shot, I'm not sure you can even tell she's on the other side of him.

Thanks!

Hmmm, after uploading it, I noticed it looks pretty soft as well. I'm guessing too much noise reduction...

I just can't quite get it to look the way I have in my head.

 

[8ball]

I agree with to much noise.
I also wish the kids were a litle bit closer, I just feel the get lost in the trees

 

[Bitter Jeweler]

Well, it's not a real strong shot, but it's not horrible. I immediately connected with the couple on the bench and then to the people on the path.

It looks a little too contrasty, and there is no detail in the blacks (viewing via iPad! Sooo).
not always a bad thing, but here I don't think it works.

 

[manaheim]

I don't really get what we're trying to feel here. I'd start with asking yourself that and going from there.

 

[c.cloudwalker]

I thought it was a couple watching a mother and her two kids :er:

Too much contrast imho and a lack of details in the dark and light areas. Are they related or is the exposure just wrong?

 

[doomhart]

i think too many "stuff", compositionwise. its like two good pictures put together making a not really good picture. what do i mean? imagine the picture without the 3 people on the path...looks good right? Now imagine it without the couple and the bench...still looks good? amiright?

sorry if this doesnt help.

 

[Derrel]

The blacks are very,very dark. I think it needs some dodging in spots.

 

[twoboysnmygirl]

Thanks, I needed to see what someone who didn't know who these people were thought. This was a mother and father (on the bench) watching their three daughters. I was wanting it to look a little dark and moody, like they were walking into the forest... If I gotta explain it, something is wrong!

 

[12sndsgood]

i kinda like the idea. i didnt realise it was the parents looking at the kids though. think the middle kid is so tall it looks like a mom walking her two kids. i like the concept though.

 

[twoboysnmygirl]

Yep, I never even considered that the oldest daughter looked too tall! That's why I ask these questions here! I did have some with them walking back towards me and you can tell they are all children, but the dad wasn't looking at them anymore, he was looking away and I didn't like it as much.

Here's another from the series I took, without a cut off leg, and more like what the originals looked like in color...

It's frustrating to want to make something that I see in my mind and I can't! Working on it though!

 

[redtippmann]

At first I thought it was a creepy guy with a ponytail and three legs sitting on a bench watching young ladies. But then I saw the original and it makes more cense. (there was soo much contrast that I couldn't tell there was more than one person on the bench)

 

[NikonNewbie]

I thought it was a couple watching a mother and her two kids :er:

Too much contrast imho and a lack of details in the dark and light areas. Are they related or is the exposure just wrong?

Thats what I thought too...maybe if the kids were a little closer, and maybe either one of them turned around to smile at dad/mom, or mom and dad waved...I dunno...but the biggest girl in the middle makes it look like she's the mom and the couple on the bench are old people reminiscing or something...i spelled that wrong...sorry. lol
I see what you wanted to do tho and it's a great idea!

 

[manaheim]

I thought it was a couple watching a mother and her two kids :er:

Too much contrast imho and a lack of details in the dark and light areas. Are they related or is the exposure just wrong?

And you were wrong, illustrating part of my point.

And now that I know what it is, what does it say? They're watching their kids... all in red... walk away from them... arm in arm... seemingly not concerned about it... what does that say? Is it what we want to say?

 

[twoboysnmygirl]

I thought it was a couple watching a mother and her two kids :er:

Too much contrast imho and a lack of details in the dark and light areas. Are they related or is the exposure just wrong?

And you were wrong, illustrating part of my point.

And now that I know what it is, what does it say? They're watching their kids... all in red... walk away from them... arm in arm... seemingly not concerned about it... what does that say? Is it what we want to say?

This is where I'm always questioning whether I want the shot to say something to EVERYONE or the family involved? This is a blended family, the younger two girls having had a very hard life and are in the process of being adopted officially by the mother...

so to them, this might say a number of things, I'm not sure I could find a way to say that to everyone, although I'm sure there is a way.

BTW, I only asked the girls to walk hand-in-hand down the path (I got a shot of that as well from front and back) and just in the moment decided to get the parents watching them, I didn't really have intentions for this shot, but thought when I saw it, I could do something with it, if that makes sense. I got lots of beautiful family shots of them together and all 3 girls together as well, this was just sort of something I was playing with.

 

[twoboysnmygirl]

and just b/c I hate that the only shot I posted of them was a fairly bad shot of them from behind, here is a shot of the FRONT of them!

...

EDITED to say: ???? WHY does my shot look soft now that it is uploaded? This was crystal clear on my computer. ????

(I added the pic to the next post, but didn't resize it)