Dealing with a breakup. Having trouble shooting.

[webestang6412 1]

Good luck to you all................try getting dumped and have to see her everyday at work...........while she dates another guy at work................Do'h..................

 

[Gavjenks]

I would say the money you saved for a ring could buy some new glass?

Ahaha, yes. I thought the same thing reading the OP.

Also, OP: regarding the relationship falling apart days before proposing... that's actually really common in my experience, and you shouldn't let that aspect of it get to you (I know when that happened to me, that was a particularly annoying detail). Girls know they are about to be proposed to more often than not, and if the relationship has problems, that's a great time to stop it before it escalates to an even more awkward breakup at the moment of proposal. So probably not very coincidental at all. You simply forced her to action, which is good, because action is better than suppressed misgivings.

Otherwise, I dunno. The only useful "getting over breakups" advice that I have received and used is to cut yourself off from any easy opportunities to wallow in memories.
1) Either destroy/delete reminders of her, or if you feel you may want them someday, then ship them to a family member to hold onto out of your reach until later.
2) Block her on facebook and so forth (if it was a somewhat amicable breakup, then tell her why you're doing this first so it doesn't come across as petty. Explain it is temporary to help you move on, etc.).
3) Don't fight over any friends that are likely to be more devoted to her.
4) Do any leftover item exchanges or whatnot as soon as possible and as all-at-once as possible to remove any lingering loose ends.
5) Talk about it once, maybe, with her, after plenty of time to cool down, if closure is really needed. But ideally not even that, and certainly nothing more than that for at least a couple months or more.

Cutting all the cords will make the time shorter to get over it. But it's still just gonna be some passage of time. Gotta feel crappy for awhile, no way around it.



Rebound relationships also help, if you're the sort of person who can stomach such a thing. If so, please be completely honest with the rebound person (there are plenty of people who won't care and would be happy to serve that role), and call it off if you feel they have unrealistic expectations anyway. I can't handle this, personally. It helps at first, but then I'm too damn sappy to go through with much of any relationship that I don't intend to be long term, so it kinda backfires. If that's not a problem for you though, it could work great.

 

[minicoop1985]

I'm also a noob here, but there's a point I would like to make. I'm helping a friend get through a mildly similar circumstance. She dumped him completely out of the blue about 7 months ago, a month before he wanted to propose. She shacked up with a guy in the navy pretty much right away. They're still together and seem happy. My friend, however, is on the verge of suicide and has even made plans to carry it out. All he ever talks about is her, and how she should really get back together with him. It's consumed him nearly completely. He used to live and breathe cars, but his beloved VWs have been cast aside for spending time alone thinking about ways to get back with her and how horrible he believes his life to be. My point here is don't let this become you. If you start to feel like it is, don't hesitate to get help if you need it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with admitting you need help if you do. You may not, and that's fine too. The fact that you talk about how shooting makes you think of her concerns me a little. Don't let this get the better of you. Nobody should expect you to "suck it up and get over it," as the truth is (as many have said) time does heal. Perhaps find some new subjects that don't remind you of her? Some new equipment? Or, you could be this guy:

 

[Newtricks]

Getting over a relationship isn't often easy, even when you end it. The thing to keep in mind is... you are young, and you will get over it. My best work has always come out of times when I was down, blue or depressed. Perhaps you might take a walk with your camera and shoot what speaks to you, our state of mind greatly effects how we see the world around us.

 

[snerd]

My kee kat has gotten me through 3 divorces in 16 years. Here's to cats! No more marriages!!

 

[C4n0n.Fan]

your best dating options open up between 26-40.
.

I only have 9 months left? Then what?? Does one start to panic? Or be like the
OP should and embrace life fully and tell myself I'm going to be fine.

 

[Gavjenks]

your best dating options open up between 26-40.
.

I only have 9 months left? Then what?? Does one start to panic? Or be like the
OP should and embrace life fully and tell myself I'm going to be fine.

The Case For An Older Woman « OkTrends

statistics of dating pool size are discussed here with considerable data from a large dating site behind the discussion. There is a chart in particular about half way down that shows the % of the entire dating pool interested in you by age. It actually tapers off much more slowly than you might expect. Reason being, even though everyone is getting married off, as you get older, you have a broader and broader range of ages that it is acceptable for you to date. So that sort of compensates for the shrinking dating pool by age a bit.

Note too that this is an online dating website, so their estimates for dating pool size at higher ages are obviously skewed to be too low, making it even less bad than it looks there by far (which is itself not very bad)




Also, regardless of statistics, the one thing that is sure to shrink the number of people interested in you especially much would be panicking and thus coming across as desperate. It really is a self fulfilling prophecy that dating will be easier if you think it won't be that bad / don't worry much.

 

[Ilovemycam]

Good luck to you all................try getting dumped and have to see her everyday at work...........while she dates another guy at work................Do'h..................

That is tough biz for sure. Just got to suck it up and move one. Start working out some and sweat it out. Getting back into work (photo work) can help. Start dating and have fun at it. Are you on internet dating? If nothing else you can have a lot of penpals.

I'm making my second book and have no time for nothing. No time for me to get depressed. I still have tons of pix from 6 months ago I need to go through. Get going on some projects.

 

[C4n0n.Fan]

your best dating options open up between 26-40.
.

I only have 9 months left? Then what?? Does one start to panic? Or be like the
OP should and embrace life fully and tell myself I'm going to be fine.

The Case For An Older Woman « OkTrends

statistics of dating pool size are discussed here with considerable data from a large dating site behind the discussion. There is a chart in particular about half way down that shows the % of the entire dating pool interested in you by age. It actually tapers off much more slowly than you might expect. Reason being, even though everyone is getting married off, as you get older, you have a broader and broader range of ages that it is acceptable for you to date. So that sort of compensates for the shrinking dating pool by age a bit.

Note too that this is an online dating website, so their estimates for dating pool size at higher ages are obviously skewed to be too low, making it even less bad than it looks there by far (which is itself not very bad)




Also, regardless of statistics, the one thing that is sure to shrink the number of people interested in you especially much would be panicking and thus coming across as desperate. It really is a self fulfilling prophecy that dating will be easier if you think it won't be that bad / don't worry much.

Whatchu talkin bout, "higher ages"?

 

[webestang6412 1]

Good luck to you all................try getting dumped and have to see her everyday at work...........while she dates another guy at work................Do'h..................

That is tough biz for sure. Just got to suck it up and move one. Start working out some and sweat it out. Getting back into work (photo work) can help. Start dating and have fun at it. Are you on internet dating? If nothing else you can have a lot of penpals.

I'm making my second book and have no time for nothing. No time for me to get depressed. I still have tons of pix from 6 months ago I need to go through. Get going on some projects.

Oh yeah......I've sucked it up and just keep going. I've looked around on Match.com but have yet to take the plunge into online dating. Rebuilding my Mustang convertible is helping me as well. It's hard to get into the dating scene when you are getting close to 50..........! LOL

 

[runnah]

It's hard to get into the dating scene when you are getting close to 50..........! LOL

I would suggest going to places where folks of your age bracket hang out. Places like bingo halls, shuffle board courts and blood pressure machines at drug stores are a good start.

 

[SashaT]

It's hard to get into the dating scene when you are getting close to 50..........! LOL

I would suggest going to places where folks of your age bracket hang out. Places like bingo halls, shuffle board courts and blood pressure machines at drug stores are a good start.

Now that is funny

 

[webestang6412 1]

It's hard to get into the dating scene when you are getting close to 50..........! LOL

I would suggest going to places where folks of your age bracket hang out. Places like bingo halls, shuffle board courts and blood pressure machines at drug stores are a good start.

I'll make sure I put my good teeth in for that..............!

 

[snerd]

And don't forget the Hai Karate!!

 

[astroNikon]

It's hard to get into the dating scene when you are getting close to 50..........! LOL

I would suggest going to places where folks of your age bracket hang out. Places like bingo halls, shuffle board courts and blood pressure machines at drug stores are a good start.

I tried the cemetery, but it's not very lively.