Does your spouse support your photography passion?

[mrshaleyberg]

Because mine really P!$$3D me off today!

I know this is a silly post, but seriously...

I love photography..I used to do wedding cakes and cakes of other occasions, but since having my son, and my husband working full time, it's too hard for me to do. There's just not enough time. I had always been interested in photography, so I decided it was a little something to do that I enjoy, and that gets me a few hours away to myself.

My goal is to become experienced, and do family portraits, weddings, etc. It takes time to get started, but in the end, it's very rewarding! And it's not taking loads of time away from my son.


So my husband tells this guy over e-mail, that he's NEVER met this..

He's talking to this guy about buying parts to his new car.. His car was a purchase of 25,000 dollars.

"Well after my wife buys her stupid camera and a dinner table. I tell you what, i never should have gotten her a nikon for xmas last year, now all she wants to do is spend more money on that then my goat" (His car)

Then he sends him this in the next e-mail!

"I should be able to order them in about a month or so. She has to buy this NIkon d300s. its like a freaking 1300 dollar camera, then she also wants a new lens. I didn't even know they made camera's that expensive for people who aren't like taking photos of some hot ass models".


Like seriously..That just made me mad. I never complained when he took out a 25 thousand dollar loan. He's being so selfish!

Ugh!

 

[Taylor510ce]

What are you reading his emails for?

 

[MohaimenK]

family drama should be left outside of message board IMO.
And to answer, yes my wife supports me as long as I take pretty pix of her as well

 

[usayit]

yeh... probably shouldn't be reading his emails. Hopefully, he won't find this thread to add fuel to the fire.

but

you two should talk anyways. Sounds like both of you went through several life changes (marriage + son) but both are still holding on to the past when things were less complicated (to put it lightly).


I'm in the same boat. I used to buy whatever the hell I wanted (I spent $6000 on a camera) and shoot whenever I wanted Now its a different story with more responsibilities Wife and Kid to support plus planning for an eventual layoff (happens a lot in my industry) and building a "buffer" in hope to bridge to the next opportunity. Its gotten better... (not working two jobs now) but still the same pressures. It took a while to get used to thinking along the lines of "for the family".


I'm pretty lucky though.. she understands almost zip about my passion and interest in photography BUT she does her best to foster time for it. She encourages me to make time for my interests. To this day, she won't follow me into a cemetery but she's learned to bring a chair and book while she waits.. rather than pacing around impatiently waiting for me to hurry up and finish.

 

[LCARSx32]

family drama should be left outside of message board IMO.
And to answer, yes my wife supports me as long as I take pretty pix of her as well

Lol, that's what I was thinking; "It depends how many pictures of them you take."

Not having a significant other, I can't comment. But I would tell him "Hey buddy, you still owe be $23,700 worth of toys!", lol. Maybe threaten to give him a hard time every time he wants to buy a new part for his car? I know those classic cars. They're money pits too. Just like photography, he's going to spend some serious cash on things that you might find unnecessary. A set of NOS emblems, for example.

GTOs are nice cars, by the way. Maybe if you take some nice shots of his car, he'll back off? :thumbup:

 

[sleist]

What are you reading his emails for?

I was kinda thinking the same thing.

I solved the WAF (Wife Acceptance Factor) by being divorced.
After the initial pain and drama, it's amazing how much easier life is.

No more blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Just kidding dear ...

 

[Mauravdl]

My husband supports my photography and likes the fact I tend to take our 9 year old out with me, giving him some time solo. But I make as much money as he does and I buy my equipment from my allowance just as he buys his "toys" from his allowance.

If I want more than I have allowance for, I pick up some freelance technical writing to pay for it.

The funny thing is that my husband rarely notices - in fact he noticed my bdu pants and hat last week but didn't notice the new 7D body. Especially funny since the prior body was a silver Rebel XS Now to save for better lenses....

That said, man, I'd be really unhappy if my husband was reading my emails. No so much because I'd be embarassed by what I wrote but because I expect some adult privacy. Unless, of course, we share an email address.... Then privacy is not an expectation.

 

[usayit]

But I make as much money as he does and I buy my equipment from my allowance just as he buys his "toys" from his allowance.

Makes for an interesting difference in family dynamics.. doesn't it?

 

[mrshaleyberg]

The reason I read his e-mail is because, he never tells me anything (What he might be purchasing this time) until I find out for myself. We check each others e-mail all the time...Afterall..What do I have to hide? What does he have to hide? Apparently he has to hide the fact that he's buying more and more **** for his car without confronting his wife first..Isn't that what marriage is about? Passing things by your spouse before you make a decision?

 

[mrshaleyberg]

family drama should be left outside of message board IMO.
And to answer, yes my wife supports me as long as I take pretty pix of her as well

Lol, that's what I was thinking; "It depends how many pictures of them you take."

Not having a significant other, I can't comment. But I would tell him "Hey buddy, you still owe be $23,700 worth of toys!", lol. Maybe threaten to give him a hard time every time he wants to buy a new part for his car? I know those classic cars. They're money pits too. Just like photography, he's going to spend some serious cash on things that you might find unnecessary. A set of NOS emblems, for example.

GTOs are nice cars, by the way. Maybe if you take some nice shots of his car, he'll back off? :thumbup:

Oh I was all for getting the car. Twin Turbo 06 manual GTO..I'm ALL for it. Sexy car, not gonna lie. And I told him today that I was going to take pictures of it. But please, have some respect for MY passion!

 

[Mauravdl]

It does actually. We collaborate and agree on what we spend or buy for the household but it's really nice to have finances set up the way we do. We have a budget but there's no argument about what we each spend our personal allowance on.

 

[pbelarge]

Every marriage or partnership is different. One of the problems is, people like to compare to others...that does not work.

Part of the solution to the issue of $$$ and "other" activities within a marriage is to COMMUNICATE. It is absolutely amazing how well communicating works when both partners are honest and sincere.

This site is definitely not the place to disclose personal information..........

 

[carvinrocks2]

Not really a place to air out drama, but I know you gotta air it out somewhere.

I'm still young and living with the folks and they are sort of like "whatever". My dad has an interest in photography too, so he encourages it and so does my mom.

Music is another hobby of mine, until this year I spent alot of my money on that hobby. My mom supports photography more, ha ha...

Both hobbies are money pits, but are fun to do, so think it's worth the 200-500 I spend yearly on them...

 

[usayit]

family drama should be left outside of message board IMO.
And to answer, yes my wife supports me as long as I take pretty pix of her as well

Lol, that's what I was thinking; "It depends how many pictures of them you take."

Not having a significant other, I can't comment. But I would tell him "Hey buddy, you still owe be $23,700 worth of toys!", lol. Maybe threaten to give him a hard time every time he wants to buy a new part for his car? I know those classic cars. They're money pits too. Just like photography, he's going to spend some serious cash on things that you might find unnecessary. A set of NOS emblems, for example.

GTOs are nice cars, by the way. Maybe if you take some nice shots of his car, he'll back off? :thumbup:

Oh I was all for getting the car. Twin Turbo 06 manual GTO..I'm ALL for it. Sexy car, not gonna lie. And I told him today that I was going to take pictures of it. But please, have some respect for MY passion!

I don't think it is as much lack of respect for your passion but rather a combination of
* He doesn't understand it
* He is used to spending whatever whenever

I personally wouldn't go the route LCARs is suggesting... you'd just back him into a corner and people tend to be on a defensive in that situation.


My wife and I do the same... we have allowances and a percentage of responsibility to the bills. My wife has debt and doesn't earn much so she's pretty humble with her expenses. I'm practically debt free and the high earner of the house, so I help her out with some of her more expensive "wants" (jewelry / clothing) and she doesn't really question my purchases from my allowance. Once her debt is paid off, her allowance goes up and she's working really hard at that goal (I am proud of her for that). The key here is that we talked about it, set a plan, and set expectations.

I simply think both sides needs to talk it over.

 

[vtf]

Call Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil.com - Be on the Show
He's your man