I'm having a hard time seeing the focus point, if there is one, and that shadow is a bit distracting. Try lighting it more overhead, so you don't have a big shadow behind, and focus sharply on the front crayons, leaving the back ones out of focus.
In addition to the comment about changing the focal point to the front crayons, you may wish to try a tighter aperature and see if that improves things.
I'm in total agreement on the lighting. You are too close to the subject to use your hot shoe. It's very harsh.
I do love the concept of the photo though. It took my brain a second of 'somethings not right here' to grasp what you had done and it's very cute.
While I do think the lighting is a little harsh in the foreground I dolike the shadow it is casting. I think if you were to move the lightsource around to one side more you could also create an interesting'diagonal' shadow (don't know if that makes sense or not).
I do think one row of crayons should be in focus. It seem the focus ison the frame which isn't really working imo. Try shooting with withjust the front in focus, then the rear and then both and see what youthink.