Yes, Shepard Fairey got in trouble with the AP for the Obama HOPE Poster, and then the AP got sued by the original photographer, who said that AP didn't own the copyright, he did. In that case, the original photographer of the image, Mannie Garcia was an ardent Obama supporter, and most likely would have been pleased if Fairey had reached out to him.
I say reach out to this photographer-if they instantly go on the defensive, they probably aren't really fit to be a wedding photographer-part of being a photographer is knowing that you don't know everything and always wanting to improve. Who knows, maybe he or she will turn out to be a cool person and you'll make a friend!