I've skipped the full thread,
I live in the UK, where guns are illegal (a good, maybe bad thing?)
How I deal with the fear of carrying it?
Much like yourself, it took me quite some time to build up my gear, however, I go to night clubs with abotu 3 - 4k worth of kit.
It's all inside a bag (not a well known brand, VanGuard) so people don't know what is inside it for 1.
The other way is to also not look like you are carrying something valuable, I leave my camera strapped around my shoulder (it would be SO easy to steal if people wanted to, but I'd probably make chase.)
The other thing too is, just take it out! The more you do it, the less you fear it (Apply this to ALL your fears!)
I think (to re-itterate) the way to deal with it is by simply, "not caring" too much.