I failed today

[nerwin]

I wish I was more outgoing like you are. But having social anxiety and other disorders, makes it really difficult for me to interact or even being around people unless I've known them for many years. It's really hard for me man, but I am trying.

I have bipoloar disorder and used to have some major social anxiety that still surfaces at times. My ex boyfriend has the same diagnosis as I do, and a few years ago he started encouraging me to face my social anxieties by confronting the situations that would trigger my anxiety. Going to a crowded gay bar by myself was a huge one that still sometimes gets me. I started taking his advice and putting myself in these situations purposely, and it's had good results. I learned that my fears and anxieties were in my head, and that most other people are so involved with what's happening in their own head that they don't even consider why I'm there or that I'm alone, or that I'm awkward. Anyone who actually DOES have a problem with me being awkward, or simply being there, is clearly not the type of person who's opinions I should even give a moment of my attention to, because they're a bully. Eventually my real personality started coming out as I became comfortable and less insecure, and then I started making real friends and connections. Sometimes facing what you fear will help you move past it, and eventually you are going to have to face them or become a shut-in (which is the direction I was headed). Perhaps we can't relate because we don't have the same diagnosis, but we both deal with social anxieties and mental disorders, and I'm telling you from experience that it's possible to face these speed bumps and get past them. It's important to be an Optimist, because we of all people NEED optimism in our lives in order to stay alive and to get the things that we want out of life. Stay positive man.

I've always said I wish I was normal, but being normal is boring.

I'd talk more but I really don't feel comfortable talking about personal stuff.

But I was just trying to explain that I was having a really bad day. That's all.

Not trying to be confrontational or anything, just offering some relatable advice. I'll move on then.

I didn't think you were. It's just this whole thread is getting off topic lol.

 

[chuasam]

You're going to the event unprepared hoping to catch whatever.
Write down a list of images that you really want, think about the best way to take them.
Plot the route, and figure what lens works best.
We make our own luck.
That being said, I don't shoot parades...I hate crowds and being outdoors.

As for failing...everyone does that. It's part of learning.
Sometimes I'm handed a novel camera and told to test it out. So I take it out with me whilst walking the dog in the park. My discomfort at having to be outdoors shows...simple boring snapshots of a forested area. I suck at landscape photography because all the time I'm thinking of how much more comfortable it would be away from bugs and dirt and thorny plants and spider webs and ticks.

 

[jcdeboever]

I wish I was more outgoing like you are. But having social anxiety and other disorders, makes it really difficult for me to interact or even being around people unless I've known them for many years. It's really hard for me man, but I am trying.

I have bipoloar disorder and used to have some major social anxiety that still surfaces at times. My ex boyfriend has the same diagnosis as I do, and a few years ago he started encouraging me to face my social anxieties by confronting the situations that would trigger my anxiety. Going to a crowded gay bar by myself was a huge one that still sometimes gets me. I started taking his advice and putting myself in these situations purposely, and it's had good results. I learned that my fears and anxieties were in my head, and that most other people are so involved with what's happening in their own head that they don't even consider why I'm there or that I'm alone, or that I'm awkward. Anyone who actually DOES have a problem with me being awkward, or simply being there, is clearly not the type of person who's opinions I should even give a moment of my attention to, because they're a bully. Eventually my real personality started coming out as I became comfortable and less insecure, and then I started making real friends and connections. Sometimes facing what you fear will help you move past it, and eventually you are going to have to face them or become a shut-in (which is the direction I was headed). Perhaps we can't relate because we don't have the same diagnosis, but we both deal with social anxieties and mental disorders, and I'm telling you from experience that it's possible to face these speed bumps and get past them. It's important to be an Optimist, because we of all people NEED optimism in our lives in order to stay alive and to get the things that we want out of life. Stay positive man.

That is really good advice. I don't know about bi-polar but facing challenges does help. I think the biggest challenge or anxiety I have is, does my wife feel my overwhelming love? Am I making her feel cherished? My daily challenge is to love my wife and be the greatest husband. Being a good husband is easy but being exceptional is special.

 

[nerwin]

Well I figured I'll just share the rest of what I think were somewhat decent shots I managed to get.

The 4th image is my grandfather hugging Miss Vermont! I just had to share that one regardless if it was just a snap shot.

 

[Peeb]

Yeah, I have days like that too mate. Sometimes I can get too involved in a scene, other times not involved enough to get the good shots. On the days I don't get anything I remind myself that you can't catch fish with a dry line.

@nerwin - the saying simply means if you don't go fishing (get your fishing line into the water) then you will never catch a fish. Your parade pics were fine- you're just being hard on yourself!

 

[benhasajeep]

Since you originally posted last Sat. I say go back and take another look at them. Try to look at them with a fresh mindset. I bet you find some more. Or maybe a different crop will yield a different picture?? Sometimes you get locked in and can't see what's right in front of you.

 

[Jamesaz]

I can offer this: When I was shooting events on film I figured if I got 3 good frames on a roll that was good. I'd hope for more but not be disappointed with 3 or even two good, not just usable but client happy making frames. From looking at your photos I'd say you did fine.

 

[Derrel]

It sounds like an attitudinal issue. One's mental state of mind can affect one's performance. Your self-described grump mood likely hurt. And only 200 shots, but 10 to 12 keepers? Not too awful,!

 

[runnah]

I'd give up, move on, take up basket weaving.

 

[nerwin]

I'd give up, move on, take up basket weaving.

Then I'd having something to take pictures of.

 

[goodguy]

Shooting people, getting the moment, creating a story with people is what I am strong at, I must be because I shoot weddings, I don't have a creativity issues here, my eye is trained, I don't look for the moment, the moment is calling e if that makes sense, I look around and I see people interact and the moment I see a smile, any interesting facial expression I get the moment, this is why I need a very fast focusing AF system and good fast focusing glass.
Its a matter of practice, if you would come with me to few weddings I could probably mentor you to be better and better in few months.

 

[nerwin]

Shooting people, getting the moment, creating a story with people is what I am strong at, I must be because I shoot weddings, I don't have a creativity issues here, my eye is trained, I don't look for the moment, the moment is calling e if that makes sense, I look around and I see people interact and the moment I see a smile, any interesting facial expression I get the moment, this is why I need a very fast focusing AF system and good fast focusing glass.
Its a matter of practice, if you would come with me to few weddings I could probably mentor you to be better and better in few months.

Besides the fact that I hate weddings. Hahaha.

 

[table1349]

Nice photo nerwin, and who knew your grandad was a player.

 

[The_Traveler]

I can't speak to what drives you or what upsets you but I can speak to the pictures you take.

IMO, you aren't working through what the important parts of the pictures are, what is interesting, what is important and aren't doing anything to make them better.
The harsh sunshine is a negative but that's generally when parades are.
The clown making contact with kids, where are the kids,where is the other half of the picture that actually shows the contact?
Why is the background still so bright and the clown so dim?
Pictures are made not just discovered lying there in the camera.

What's interesting to see here? Close in on what may be of interest to the viewer. We know he has a body, we know the hat has a top.
Extra space just lets tension leak away.

 

[nerwin]

I can't speak to what drives you or what upsets you but I can speak to the pictures you take.

IMO, you aren't working through what the important parts of the pictures are, what is interesting, what is important and aren't doing anything to make them better.
The harsh sunshine is a negative but that's generally when parades are.
The clown making contact with kids, where are the kids,where is the other half of the picture that actually shows the contact?
Why is the background still so bright and the clown so dim?
Pictures are made not just discovered lying there in the camera.

View attachment 142480

What's interesting to see here? Close in on what may be of interest to the viewer. We know he has a body, we know the hat has a top.
Extra space just lets tension leak away.

View attachment 142479

Because I suck at what I do.