"If You Don't Like It, Don't Look!"

[MTVision]

How about we come to some sort of agreement on what is generally acceptable?

1. I'd say that a woman who has a reasonable amount of class, would (should) feed in such a way that does not draw attention to the act. If you do whip out a feeding device in a line, and go bare chest, then you're "that girl" (brother of "that guy"), and not at all dignified.
2. If you're good looking, then all standards are relaxed. De-blousing might just be the best method in this situation.

See in my experience most women don't just whip it out and go bare cheated. Some probably do but it's not the norm AFAIK.

 

[MTVision]

Yes, I am considerate to others. If I bump into someone, I apologize. If someone tells me I've crossed some sort of line they have, I take that into consideration and stop my actions. I try my best to not be in the way, in any way.

Please remember I'm not talking about every public place. A park is public. I wouldn't look twice if someone breastfed there. A bench in a supermarket is public, and I wouldn't look twice there. But I think that using a cover (it's not that hard) helps a lot, and would make less people uncomfortable in lots of places. And if you were used to use a cover, you wouldn't place it in the bottom of the bag, would you?

Is it too much to ask that if you're going to breastfeed in a public space with lots of people around you, that you cover up?? Seriously? I can see how routine plays a part, and that you're getting very used to it. But please answer my concrete question.

And I'm considerate to others. I have breastfed in public. I'm shy so I do go and find a quiet non-busy area. If they have a special room I'll use it. I have breastfed my week old daughter in a restaurant. My first time ever in public and I guarantee nobody knew - I was super nervous and put my boyfriends sweatshirt on and put the baby inside the sweatshirt. But it's a lot easier to cover a newborn and keep it well hidden then it is for an older child. They are aware and don't want their heads covered - bottle fed babies don't have to have a blanket on their head. It's hot and uncomfortable. And when a women is breastfeeding they don't necessarily lift their entire shirt up and once the baby is nursing you will see no more skin then you would with a low cut shirt. If someone sees a nipple it will probably only be for a second and it was probably an accident - and accidents do happen. I don't want to show a bunch of strangers my nipple but it could happen. I would probably be embarrassed - more so then it would probably bother you.

So yeah a cover would be nice but it isn't always feasible for everyone. Have you ever seen a baby breastfeeding - I know when I breastfed you couldn't see my nipple.

And like I said before people should be considerate of others but not everyone is.

If someone told you that you had to cover your head to eat because it offends them - you would do it because you don't want to be inconsiderate of other? I sure as hell wouldn't.

 

[MTVision]

How about we come to some sort of agreement on what is generally acceptable?

1. I'd say that a woman who has a reasonable amount of class, would (should) feed in such a way that does not draw attention to the act. If you do whip out a feeding device in a line, and go bare chest, then you're "that girl" (brother of "that guy"), and not at all dignified.
2. If you're good looking, then all standards are relaxed. De-blousing might just be the best method in this situation.

I'm assuming your joking about #2 but even if you aren't - it's probably true for some.

 

[GeorgieGirl]

Why is it that the guys are so uncomfortable if a nursing mom is not covered. Why??? Why has the idea of sound been raised as a part of this discussion on more than one occasion?

Why are the guys having the issues with a visual or audible aspect of this activity?

Is nursing somehow repulsive?

 

[manaheim]

head->desk.

I need to unsubscribe from this train wreck so I stop looking at it.

 

[Dominantly]

I don't think the nipple slip is the problem at all.

I think that because the breasts are viewed (disclaimer- not by all) as sexual objects, when they are a focal point such as during a feeding, the association makes some feel uncomfortable on a subconscious level.
I also think that they probably would not be able to explain why it is, but they would still feel the way they do.

For example, if a woman simply took of her top and showed her breasts, you'd probably get a lot of shocked and positive attention (this will change with the group).

 

[MTVision]

I love the comment about not letting someone see the nipple. Love it.

So, what? The nipple is what? Private? Offensive? I mean, what about the nipple is different from the rest of your breast?

It's pretty fascinating to see how we've evolved on this in the past 100 years. 100 years ago, seeing an ANKLE was scandalous ... nowadays a girl can walk around in a bikini that shows ALL of her breasts... except the nipple.

I love progress.

Well let's see. It's OK to wear barely there shirts with your boobs popping out but heaven forbid you see a little boob when someone is feeding their baby. Boobs are OK for men to look at and most don't mind low cut or skin tight shirts but......definitely don't want to see them when they are being used the way we were meant to see them. People have NO problem seeing cleavage and it's everywhere you look IRL, on magazines, etc.

And exactly. Women can wear bikinis that cover only the nipple - so what's the problem with breastfeeding. It's OK if it's of a sexual nature - I don't get it.
.

 

[MTVision]

I don't think the nipple slip is the problem at all.

I think that because the breasts are viewed (disclaimer- not by all) as sexual objects, when they are a focal point such as during a feeding, the association makes some feel uncomfortable on a subconscious level.
I also think that they probably would not be able to explain why it is, but they would still feel the way they do.

For example, if a woman simply took of her top and showed her breasts, you'd probably get a lot of shocked and positive attention (this will change with the group).

That's exactly it.

 

[MTVision]

head->desk.

I need to unsubscribe from this train wreck so I stop looking at it.

So unsubscribe.

It's not really that hard.

 

[GeorgieGirl]

I don't really get it either. Is it ok to be slutty sue and bounce and flash but when nursing you have to be moral mom and cover up?

 

[punch]

the term "baby men" comes to mind. thank GOD my husband wasn't one of those a-holes who can't figure out a dual functioning body part and could rationalize that and keep it together.

 

[punch]

you know, manaheim... every time MTVision addresses what you've said, she's responding to it directly. yet, you always start by telling her she doesn't understand... that's really condescending.

and if you're referring to me as "the other one" than YOU'VE grossly misunderstood. the nipple IS the sexualized part of the breast in current culture. recall the wardrobe malfunction at the superbowl. i am working within current cultural context. CLEARLY the breast tissue covered by skin is fair game, since half the women on this forum use avatars with their cleavage showing, which never seems to upset the forum users...

 

[MTVision]

Yeah, again, Megan, you're seeeeeeeeeeeeeeriously not paying attention.

I don't think a single soul on this thread said they had a problem with...

a> breastfeeding
b> seeing your breasts, sexually or otherwise

I certainly don't. Frankly, I don't much care what you do. I'm a firm believer in the very simple principle of "Your freedom to swing your fist ends at the end of my nose", and you taking off any of your clothes for any reason really has no negative effect on me at all.

I think people on "my side" of the argument have simply suggested that you may want to consider that your choices may not make everyone around you all that happy, and you may consider doing whatever you practically can to minimize that impact on others. And many of us have kids and some of the folks on here have breast fed, and plenty of those folks have said that they did or would step aside to feed the child in a more discreet way.

You and the other one... whatever her name is... have taken this crazy sort of "anyone who suggests maybe I might take a moment to be more discreet is necessarily telling me I have to first starve my child and then go feed them in the sewer" position which is just absolutely ridiculous. You really might consider calming down a little. The whole persecuted act is really just weird.

And you obviously aren't paying attention because of you've actually read anything I've written you'd know that I very rarely breastfeed in public. And I'm one of the people who said women should try to be discrete. Right? I've said it over and over again.

My whole point is that it doesn't matter if it makes you or anyone else uncomfortable. They can/do and will breastfeed anywhere and any damn way they want. They can let it all hang out. They can breastfeed next to you while you're eating at a restaurant.

If nobody has a problem with
A) breastfeeding
B) seeing breasts sexually or otherwise

Then what's the whole issue? Why does it make people uncomfortable? Why should women be more discrete? If there isn't an issue then this wouldn't be going on.

 

[punch]

i'm sensing a baby man who doesn't like to get told ANYTHING by women, MTVision. but he's unsubscribed now to save himself from our idioitic blatherings and inability to undersatnd. what a blessing for him.

 

[PapaMatt]

This tread is going down hill so fast with out any brakeman on board. To look or not does not matter just take a peak and go on your merry way in life!!!!