The size of your modifier isn't the issue. I can get rembrandt, ie nose shadow touching cheek shadow with upside right triangle of light on eye and down cheek, with a 7' octa in fairly closeand feathered 90 degrees to subject. The nose shadow is the indicator. In the second image, there is barely any nose shadow on the shadow side, not even loop. The cheek shadow is plenty dark. Look at the catch light in the eye and that tells you where the light is, nearly 12 o'clock, ie directly in front and above. She is has her face towards the light. If you have a modeling light have her bring the nose back to camera and watch the nose shadow, and you can have her tilt the head to get the angle of the nose shadow down the nasolabial fold til it connects the cheek shadow. Or move the light to achieve the rembrandt shadow. Inside, practice with just a reflector and no fill so you can see the nose shadow, start with the light on the nose axis and above and create a 1/4 inch shadow directly under the nose in the shape of a butterfly:butterfly lighting. Move the light to the side and back about 45 degrees to subject til the shadow extends about a half inch from the nose and then adjust height to get it down the nasal labial fold, loop which is great for most people. Move the light further from the camera axis watching the nose shadow extend to the cheek shadow, adjust height to have light in the eye socket, connect the nose cheek shadows. The catch light will be about 1:30 or 10:30 Move the light 90 degrees to her and you will see half her face in shadow, split. Remember those light positions. Then do it with your modifier. A modeling light on the main is invaluable for learning and quick, precise set up. As for the kickers, they are a bit orange for my taste, but that's just me. I'm guessing a cto gel but try a straw or pull it back and pump more light through it to dilute it.
