The photo you posted does not have the light 90 degrees to the baby, if that was the case, there would be a shadow from the headboard. Look at the shadow under the nose, lips and chin, light is placed opposite that, high to r of camera slightly. Use the modeling lights to show you where the shadows fall and move the light around and up and down. If you cant see the shadows, take off the soft box and put a cone reflector on the light and move it til you are positioned as you should be able to see the shadows this way. This is why a 250 watt modeling light is so helpful. And remove the reflector fill while you are dialing in the main. Always build your lighting one light at a time, first the main to establish the shadow pattern, then bring in the fill. From there, add spice with the lights behind the subject, kicker. hair light, background fill to control darkness of bg relative to subject and a bg spot. You say the shadows are "too harsh" which is not photographic term that is commonly understood by other photographers. If you mean the shadows are too dark or deep or the contrast ratio is too high, In that case, move the reflector in closer to increase intensity of the fill. If can't without getting the reflector in the shot, are you using a white reflector? You will get more "horsepower" out of soft silver or using a silver for intensity and covering it with a diffuser panel, more power than white, but diffused instead of specular like a straight silver reflector. Softness usually refers to the shadow edge transfer(from a diffused or scattered light like through clouds or sheer material, quick is "hard light" gradual is soft light. Keep at it, keep asking questions, none are stupid, you will grow in you understanding and mastery. Light has a number of characteristics and a good way to analyze a shot. Direction-check the nose shadow and light is opposite or eye catchlights shows position,shape and relative size of light. Diffusion, how scattered the rays are as opposed to being lined up parallel. The parallel ones produce hard edged shadows, the diffused, soft edged shadows. Think how soft edged shadows are on a cloudy day and how hard edged in full sun. Intensity, how strong the light is, what you are setting exposure for. Relative intensity between light and shadow is the lighting ratio. Finally, light can have color from pure white like flash, yellow like incandescent of a fire,or green from florescent. You have them all at your control with that light.