I understand what you're saying, actually the camera is probably doing the same thing with either approach as far as flash power. My way is to let the camera expose the people with the flash, but I control the ambient by adjusting the shutter speed in Shutter Priority mode. On my Nikon's, the camera will always under-expose the background in this type of scene, I think there is a minimum shutter speed that it will use which is not long enough to capture enough ambient at night... which is why I use shutter Priority mode to override this behavior.