Hi Shiver and welcome to ThePhotoForum.
You are new here and decided to post your "Penny-on-the-stick"-pic right into the Critique Forum. I assume you have not taken the time to really read through the guidelines for this forum ... in here you would ask for some SPECIFIC point that you would want to be critisised by others, a point that you clearly outline beforehand.
Since you are asking for some general opinions on this (admittedly cleverly thought out but being a tad dark) picture, I'll move your post to the General Gallery. That seems to be the right place for this.