The reason they are soft is me 100% i am self taught not 100% what i am doing trail and error really thanks to useful advice here i am getting better i think i use to shoot at 1.8 and then someone suggested 2.8 so that is why i tried that... i find when i go to a f4 i just cant get the light i need(dont like flash) and i am just using natural light from my window so my shutter speed is to slow at f4 not sure what i can do about that other than get lighting or use my flash?? Here is one i did last week with suggestions i got the one i posted on the original thread this week better right? Am i on the right track?
Why don't you like flash? Bounce your flash!

I think part of your problem though, is your point of focus and possibly too slow of a shutterspeed with the child. In your second example picture, there is a lot of post processing done in the face/eye area, and truthfully, not very flattering or realistic looking imo.
Here is a shot I took, WITH flash (bounced 45 degrees behind me), single point focus (on eye, half hold, recompose), and at f/1.8
http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5001/5275726939_c24c18ddf0_b.jpg (won't post the actual image in fear of 'HIJACKING' the thread)