portrait of a girl

[sebastyan]

walk on an abandoned military base. in the photo - a building in which there was a training missile.

 

[Flower Child]

Very beautiful shot, it has such gentle qualities! I like the contrast of the flowers and the rough and tumble looking building.

 

[kundalini]

I like the lighting you have on the model. That is nicely done even though the shadow on her neck and chest (below the flowers) are a bit dark in contrast..

There are two things that bother me a little. 1) the antlers growing out of her head disguised as structural colums and girders and an excess of (busy) background on the left of the frame. The wall on right of frame is good, but I wonder what the image would look like if a crop of the left edge was made just shy of the column closest to her head, camera left,and fill the crop with the leftover in a portrait orientation with her in the left third of the frame.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[DSLR noob]

The lighting, color and focus on the model are all very well done. I do think that I am not loving the fact that she sits dead center of the frame, with much of the white wall taking up space. I agree on the distracting background, and suggest maybe getting farther away with a wide open telephoto to get more background blur and a tighter crop on the model. If this takes away the feel of the base a bit too much, perhaps just moving around until her background seemed less cluttered. I will say a lack of real direction on this being about the model, or the base, and seeing so much clutter are making it difficult for me to feel some sort of emotion from looking at your photograph like one would hope for a portrait, its just hard to tell what you want this photo to be and what you want it to mean when I as the viewer see it, if that makes sense.

All in all a critique is meant to be a way to learn off of objective opinions so to recap mine:
-technical aspects of exposing model are good, you seem to be decent with the technical settings of the camera and such
-composition and framing might need a bit more thought, the creativity is not up to par with technical skill

I also see this was your first post, so welcome to The Photo Forum!

 

[sebastyan]

Thank you all for your comments.
that's what got after the completion

what did:
сropping
alignment
blurring the background
touch-up in the head

 

[Paul D. Van Hoy II]

gorgeous model and gorgeous light. however, I would have included less of the wall in the final composition/crop. she is just a bit too centrally placed within the frame and the flowers are a bit of a distraction. I find that when you have a model and an environment as remarkable as these - the implementation of props really isn't necessary.

Paul

Toronto Wedding Photographer

 

[sebastyan]

. I find that when you have a model and an environment as remarkable as these - the implementation of props really isn't necessary.

you're right. here is nothing superfluous:

 

[DiskoJoe]

your model seems out of place in an abandoned atmosphere. second shot seems much more fitting.