Much much better than the last one of yours I saw. The bounce helped a lot. You were at 32 mm as opposed to the 22 mm you used last time. I can see the difference already.
It looks to me like there is an open window to the left of the frame. I say this because it looks like there is natural light on the right side of her face (left side of the picture) but only artificial on the other side. Luckily, it is not causing harsh shadows. But it is causing an uneven color.
Natural light from windows can often be a great source of light. If possible, try having the window to your back so the light from the window evenly lights her face along with your lighting.
The background could use some work. Parts of it are over exposed and other parts are not. They only way to eliminate this is to evenly light the entire background. Not an easy task unless you have a lot of lighting equipment.
This is a huge improvement. Keep on working at it! You're already making leaps of improvement!
Aloha!
DE
PS, if you have a limited budget but really want to get into portraits, you may want to pick up the Nikon 50 mm f/1.8. It's cheap, but a great portrait and/or low-light lens. Every camera bag should have a 50 mm prime lens in my personal opinion.
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