Regarding Supposed TPF Bullies and Abuse Towards Newbies

[Tee]

This one right here, Bitter Jeweler?

http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/...b-w-daughter-thoughts-suggestions-thanks.html

I just lol'd at CC's second reply. That makes me a horrible person. But in fairness to CC, he did offer some non-snarky critique before unleashing the hounds.

Most of the time claims of abuse are really just new people who think they're better than they are getting pissed off because someone told them that they're not. If it were anything more people like myself would have been banned long ago, because we are the offenders of whom the newbies cry about.

Yep. This is where the majority of threads turn south. 90% of the time it's some sort of thread asking face palm inducing questions while making claims of having a business or getting a paid assignment.

And lastly, with all these recent claims of "bullying" and "abuse" why aren't the threads with the so-called infractions being linked (current not threads from 2 years ago)? And because apparently I'm not in the clique, could someone please supply a list of names who are the clique? Can we get this all sorted out like now? I'm missing a rerun of How I Met Your Mother for this.

 

[bentcountershaft]

This subject come up way to often and out of turn. There are a number of other predictable threads that make the rounds here and lately those have been ignored because this one keeps popping up. I've had enough and I'm submitting to the community Bent Measure #1 as follows:

The Full (in progress) List of Pre-Approved Dead Horse Threads

1. You People Are Mean
2. Defining Art
3. What Makes A Pro?
4. Natural Light Vs. Flash/Strobe
5. Canon Vs. Nikon
6. PC Vs. Mac

​

If you have suggestions to add to this list, now is the time. This is just to get us started. My idea is that we dedicate one week's worth of drama to just one subject and then the next week move on down the list. Since this week is "You People Are Mean" that means that next week we will cover "Defining Art" and not return to #1 until the list has been completed and ready to cycle again.

Please note I did not included any of these:

1. First Wedding/Shoot Tomorrow
2. Am I Ready To Go Pro?
3. 50 Pics of Christmas Lights in Selective Color for C&C
4. What Camera Should I Buy?
5. Tell Me Everything I Need to Buy and Fill Out/File To Open My Own Business

​

I did not include them because while similar they are centered around individuals rather than subjects and therefore can not easily be controlled. I don't think we can convince someone that they have to wait five weeks to start a "What Camera Should I Buy" thread.

​

 

[pixmedic]

 

[AgentDrex]

And lastly, with all these recent claims of "bullying" and "abuse" why aren't the threads with the so-called infractions being linked (current not threads from 2 years ago)?

That was my original request and through all of this we have not been able to find an instance outside of one.

 

[manaheim]

That was my original request and through all of this we have not been able to find an instance outside of one.

And yet you seem to have escalated it by calling for a stop to bullying.............

 

[pixmedic]

That was my original request and through all of this we have not been able to find an instance outside of one.

And yet you seem to have escalated it by calling for a stop to bullying.............

 

[AgentDrex]

I hope that this thread I started is somehow not incorporated into the Dead Horse Thread #1 as I never mentioned that anyone here WAS mean. It was my intent to showcase any posts that were truly abusive (knowing in my mind from being here for five years there would be little to none) as a response to a thread dictating such was occurring. Through this thread, I came to the realization that some people believe that bullying in any avenue (internet or analog-world) is either justified (people need to "nut up"), non-existent or not worth discussing.

 

[AgentDrex]

That was my original request and through all of this we have not been able to find an instance outside of one.

And yet you seem to have escalated it by calling for a stop to bullying.............

I escalated the bullying by "requesting" a stop to it??? Here I thought I was attempting to show we need to reconsider our own attitudes towards the subject so that we openly discuss ways to prevent it. To not just wait for someone else to put a stop to it but to come together as a society to minimize if not nullify it.

I'm not quite sure what you would like to have done about it. Shall we not discuss it? Society seems to shun the discussion and nothing seems to be changing for the better as a result. Shall I disregard my ideas about being able to talk with others to resolve issues and just be like everyone else and keep shut about it? If so, I can certainly do that. I in no way meant to offend anyone by posting this thread. Having said that, I guess I'm not sure how anything bad in life is supposed to get better. Here I guess I am wrong in my conclusion that change comes from people discussing wrongs, the possible changes we can make that could turn them right and the actual working on the change. Is that even arguable? I mean, who in their right mind would argue against that? But I've been told I have a limited viewpoint for some reason, so I guess they know my view better than I.

 

[manicmike]

There's a line when critiquing that crosses from valuable critique to being rude. When I first posted here there were several comments that were just plain rude instead of meaningful. I'm all about honesty, but some people seem to hide behind a keyboard with critiques they wouldn't give face to face.

 

[bentcountershaft]

I hope that this thread I started is somehow not incorporated into the Dead Horse Thread #1 as I never mentioned that anyone here WAS mean. It was my intent to showcase any posts that were truly abusive (knowing in my mind from being here for five years there would be little to none) as a response to a thread dictating such was occurring. Through this thread, I came to the realization that some people believe that bullying in any avenue (internet or analog-world) is either justified (people need to "nut up"), non-existent or not worth discussing.

I should have been more clear about the point but my rant was more about the thread you linked to than this one. Even though this one kind of went the same way of "No we aren't trying to be mean, we're just being honest" like #1's always tend to go. As far as bullying and the discussion of it, I don't really see any of it, so I'm not sure there's a need to discuss it in the context of this forum. A few years ago it could certainly get that way, especially with an overly defensive poster and a large group think mob jumping in but I don't see much of that anymore. I don't read every thread like I used to anymore so it's possible it is there and I miss it or it's not there because I was the cause of it and I stopped. That second one may be a bit of stretch.

 

[AgentDrex]

I know. It was the same for me. No one told me to go kill myself though. I was able to handle the vague comments even the seemingly rude ones ("looks like someone threw up on the monitor"). I was able to find the humor in it but I worry about others too much I guess. I would hope people would take ten or more seconds before typing/saying something and take that time to reassess whether the comment will be beneficial for the other person of its just a self-centered way to make ourselves chuckle.

 

[AgentDrex]

I hope that this thread I started is somehow not incorporated into the Dead Horse Thread #1 as I never mentioned that anyone here WAS mean. It was my intent to showcase any posts that were truly abusive (knowing in my mind from being here for five years there would be little to none) as a response to a thread dictating such was occurring. Through this thread, I came to the realization that some people believe that bullying in any avenue (internet or analog-world) is either justified (people need to "nut up"), non-existent or not worth discussing.

I should have been more clear about the point but my rant was more about the thread you linked to than this one. Even though this one kind of went the same way of "No we aren't trying to be mean, we're just being honest" like #1's always tend to go. As far as bullying and the discussion of it, I don't really see any of it, so I'm not sure there's a need to discuss it in the context of this forum. A few years ago it could certainly get that way, especially with an overly defensive poster and a large group think mob jumping in but I don't see much of that anymore. I don't read every thread like I used to anymore so it's possible it is there and I miss it or it's not there because I was the cause of it and I stopped. That second one may be a bit of stretch.

I know that the discussion of bullying here at TPF may be moot, I did see what I saw in other peoples' attitudes towards the subject of general bullying and steered it that way considering this is the sub-section "Off-Topic". I believe that there is a lot of bullying happening out there in the world in general and it should be discussed. That's when I started noticing what has been happening for a long time: mocking, making-light-of, shunning the conversation. Doesn't seem logical to me that not discussing something will inevitably lead to a change. Unless all of us are okay with bullying. I guess. If bullying is intended to make us grow as humans, then I don't want that to be stalemated. Bully away. It seems though to be completely unhealthy to me though and so, logically, change only comes from the acknowledgment of and discussion of how we treat each other.

 

[manaheim]

I reiterate: silly.

 

[AgentDrex]

Well thank you for reminding us. May I ask what is silly though?

 

[dewey]

There is a little "!" at the bottom left of each post. Reporting abusive posts is the best option. The "I'm leaving" posts which are really just "look at me" threads are just as corrosive to the community. All they do is start trouble.

I've seen huge amount of indispensable advice given out over the years. Just because some people, myself included, react poorly once in a while to the millionth "I just bought a D50 with a kit lens and the wedding is Saturday" threads doesn't mean the community is damaged or broken.

This forum is like every other human interface opportunity out there. Good and bad. In the end I find TPF overwhelmingly positive, especially compared to other large forums.