Self-portraits are a funny thing. I liked the post that kicked this all off, because I agree that the goal of self-portraits is to be able to present the image of yourself that
you see to the world. One's own image of one's self is seldom the one most others see, but it is an accurate image of a sort.
I spent much of my life hating having to see myself from an unusual perspective. I spent time carefully finding an image of myself I could stand, thank you, and I didn't WANT to be presented with anything else. As I changed, I entered a phase where I became quite pleasantly surprised by other perspectives. I'm not sure where I am now.
Seeing people's pictures here is fascinating because it represents, in some sense, the way people
want us to see them. Thus we have amazingly beautiful, intriguing women, and men with unfathomable depths behind enigmatic stares. Every person shown here seems
interesting. And I suppose, ultimately, if we saw everyone the way he sees himself, everyone would be interesting.
Enough talk. Here's a series on me.
This is the most recent picture, taken tonight. My eyes are sunken into black pits and my hair is a dark halo around me. I look like so many men see themselves, I think: pensive and melancholy. I think the more my face is hidden the more it seems like mine. I only see myself from the inside, after all, and seeing just the brow and the frown somehow gives you an understanding of what it feels like to peer out of my eyes.
Sure, it's typical. But I think it's genuine, even so.
This is not a self-portrait. It was taken by my wife, and shows me as I often am: silly, happy, and with a big grin. That's me, too.
This portrait is a throw-back to adolescence. Half the reason any boy takes up guitar is because he loves the image of himself wrapped around the beautiful thing, expression intent on his own inner muse. But, once again, I think it rises past this obstacle by being true to the experience. Playing guitar feels like this.
Finally, my favorite. (Also the one that friends and relatives say looks nothing like me.) Altered color, even a photoshop filter... yet somehow in the bizarre yellows and greens and the off-kilter stare is my favorite me.
Anyway, sorry for going on to such lengths. It just seemed like a fun exercize.