O.K. this is what I do for a living, so I'll tell you how professionals photograph REAL people.
First, you've done right (thank GOD!) by not setting her up like so many amatuers do--flat to the camera!! You turned her body away and brought her face back to the camera.
Second she's in a dark color that works with the background--all these things help to reduce her mass. And her arms are covered--VERY GOOD!!
However, you made the NUMBER ONE MISTAKE most amatuers ( and too many professionals these days) make all the time--that is: NOT TAILORING THE LIGHTING TO THE SUBJECT TO MAKE THEM LOOK THEIR BEST.
You used what we call BROAD LIGHTING--NEVER to be used on anyone but your basic skinny-minnie model!!
What this young lady deserves is SHORT LIGHTING ( the most useful lighting pattern you'll ever learn )
So, looking at the second image, instead of having your main light on camera-right--lighting the entire face--you just move the main over to the left and IN towards the background until you see a shadow on the side of her face presented to the camera. The trick here is to not loose light in the eye in that shadow side!
If you don't want the shadow side black you can place a white reflector ( NOT silver--it will ruin the short-light pattern ) opposite the main--to fill the other side. I usually don't do this because my main light is 7-foot Octobox that requires no fill.
Oh, by the way, speaking of general studio fill--that is a light from camera direction--TURN IT OFF when doing SHORT LIGHTING.
Hope this helps, Jerry V.
