Shes going...

[carlita]

its just ive never felt about a girl as strongly as I felt for her before...and I still feel rather strongly now... I dunno what to do...

i think you answered your own question there.

 

[PreludeX]

arty, you my man, your a stud.. you know it... date her.. go for it.. keep it safe

 

[Artemis]

I wish I could...but I dunno if I could possibly do it

 

[JonMikal]

what would you be if you didnt do it Arty? think of all the days ahead of you; wishing you had said something. that alone will eat at you more than what you're going through now. remember though, if you chose not to say anything, you will only have yourself to beat up in the end. when you approach her, take the spirit of your friends there and here in this board with you; but more importantly find strength from within and do what you know is right. whatever the outcome, you will be a stronger individual for it!

the best to you and i hope the weight of this burden you carry lifts soon!

 

[Meysha]

If you're having trouble making that first step. Why don't you just ask her out somewhere as a 'going away' thing. Say you wanna catch up before she goes away. Not somewhere romantic....But make sure it's somewhere that can become romantic.

I remember my first date with my boyfriend and I used this tactic. There's a big market place open at night time in town and it's a fun place to go, so I told my then 'friend-and-hoping-to-soon-be-my-boyfriend', Adrian, that we should go down there to grab something to eat and then we can have a look around the market. So we did that, and we were really starting to hit it off, so we went for a walk along the esplanade (big nice ocean front (with mudflats bleurk!) just over the road from the night markets. That is very romantic with the full moon and ocean before you. And so we ended up chilling out on one of the benches in the park there. So great!

I too thought he was going to be leaving in a few months time for uni, but I gave it a shot anyway. He ended up changing his plans and staying in my city for a year then leaving to go study for a year, then I left for France for a year. But we're still together... 3 and a half years down the track! See it works!

Here's a link to help you choose a date spot!
http://www.romantic-lyrics.com/dateideas.shtml
It's also got flirting tips and romantic ideas!

 

[aghastpumpkin]

My friend! Anytime you need a chat like this you know you can talk to me.
I totally understand how you feel...to an extent. Boy, I must really annoy you with my "Artemis (of course I use your real name here) I really really love this girl, it's like never before!" sayings.
But I don't think you've ever openly admitted to having a really bad crush on someone.
I don't want to know who it is, Ok, I do, but my point is I will not ask you or bugger you, and I will certainly not tell a soul anything I read on here.

I do think you should hold more trust with these things with your group of friends more than online friends. It worries me that your prepared to tell online friends but not your real closest friends? Well, not to me anyways?? I'm confused. Meh, I'm probably confusing myself. Please, online friends of Arty, do not take this as offence.

I say, go for it. I'm about to ask someone out. It's difficult, shes three years younger than me and I'm really scared of being labelled with a certain P word thats chucked around by people these days rather too much.
But she fancies me and I think I should find out about her. And she does live in my road.
Going to University would certainly make things difficult, and I think if she's really after a long term career if she does turn out to really love you, it shouldn't stop her going.
If it does blossom into love, then being apart can make you stronger! And anyways, four years is but a blink of the eye in your lifetime.
Go for it, my fine friend. I would like nothing more than to see you happy with someone at last.

With reference to my bit about online and face-friends, I think not just you but everyone would be interested to read this:
http://www.rider.edu/~suler/psycyber/disinhibit.html

I can't hlep but agree with this study. You, myself (and Irene - lol) all talk and act differently online. Artemis would back me up in saying I'm different in real life then how I talk through MSN.
And so are you.

 

[Meysha]

Ohh Good link. I've noticed a lot of what she talks about to.
Infact, I used to do a lot of that too when I was in highschool and using the net to communicate. But I think it is true what she says.
But it can also be ina good way I think. especially when you're in the right environnment - like a caring one that TPF is. It can let you to get your thoughts in order and it does expose you to a lot of peoples ideas, who you would've not generally socialised with.
Sometimes you've got stuff that you need to talk about but you don't want to talk about it with your friends because they are too familiar with your situation.

Just don't loose touch on reality Arty and you'll be fine!

 

[aghastpumpkin]

I think the hint I have been trying to make is it is great to come onto a forum like TPF and vent your woes, but letting things go and needing a chat are things people like me, who see you as a close friend, are here for too.
I think you should feel you can trust someone like me with something like this. You know me better than most people and know I would never do something against you.
Whereas online people, no matter how things go, can turn out to be totally different in real life because of that philosophy.
So although I think its fine to talk about this on the internet in a friendly community forum, I do also think you should consider, as I am sure you already do, talking about it to someone like C****e or Me. (I've kind of blocked her name out but you'll know who I'm on about)
I'm always up for listening. Though don't bother throguh MSN, for the same reasons in the philosophy.
It's easy to forget your friends. I know you are not in the slightest, but I've accidentally done it myself. And even though I have online friends like you, I know to put people like yourself first, and I trust you with my life.
Friends are for life, Arty my friend, (For life - hopefully!)
I hope you see this as sound advice from someone who wants the best for you!

And does anyone need to post further? I think everybody agrees, go for this damn girl! If she's worth your heart!
;-)
Good luck!
Feel free to talk to me on Monday about anything raised here if you wish. I think you TPF guys are great to Artemis. Your advice is brilliant! I might have to ask for some myself.....

 

[Meysha]

And does anyone need to post further? I think everybody agrees, go for this damn girl!

I agree!
If you don't go for this girl soon, then I will!

hehehe And yes, that is something I would say in real life, but you would all know I'm joking too.

 

[aghastpumpkin]

Lol, you make me laugh.

 

[Artemis]

Well...its done...tis finisished...I she added me on msn, we got talking and having fun...and then slowley she worked out I had a crush, and that it was her...and well thats it

Well...the good news if my dear photo forum friends, is she likes me...and thats probably gonna make my month and several others...the bad news, which is to be expected...she doesnt wanna go out.

I can totally understand this, she has just come out of a four year relationship and she still likes her ex...but atleast she knows, we're still friends....and...to be totally honest...I like her even more.

Thanks guys...Im super happy!

As for Aghats, you know me mate, this kinda stuff I do not talk about, and I struggle to type it...and somethings I just find more comfortable posting here and not trying to force it into a conversation at college.

 

[Chase]

Although its not the perfect situation, it sounds like things worked out very well! Taking a chance is always rough, but you have to go for it and this is a good example of why you should!

 

[photogoddess]

Ditto what Chase said. I'm proud of you Arty! :hugs:

 

[Meysha]

YAY!!! ok so maybe not exactly what you wanted... But Yay nevertheless!
Now you know it's not that tough to do... plus there's that huge rush when you've realised what you've said!

 

[Artemis]

YAY!!! ok so maybe not exactly what you wanted... But Yay nevertheless!
Now you know it's not that tough to do... plus there's that huge rush when you've realised what you've said!

Thanks Meysha, thanks you all for the great help youve given me...I really do appreciate it...Im not so happy about it at the moment, but thats cause it hasn't sunk in, and the whole not going out thing sucks...but....w00t anyways...im stilll...well feel a bit happy now, here comes the end of shock