Short Film - Recurrence

Tigertail

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I'm taking a Filmmaking class at Art Center at Night's program. This was the first project. Any thoughts? Filmed with a Canon 60D.

 
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Sorry, here's the direct link. It shows up imbedded in my browser. Might be because I just changed the privacy settings from unlisted to public.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v= Ui-g-KDGslE

(copy/paste the link and remove the space after the = sign...otherwise it would keep imbedding it automatically)
 
IMO, it needs to edited (to an extent reshot) in a way which allows more pace and a tighter thread connecting the sequence of events. After waiting to be enlightened as to why a man awakes in a field (albiet in a dream), I don't want to have to watch him awake again AND get himself together before he's out on the highway.

Idea: the 'waking dream' part could be done with more disorientation/non-linear. He could 'remote view' (locked off) close-up shots of the building, before he awakes and stands up and proceeds towards it.

There could be a more minimal amount of enacting waking and getting-up, in the bedroom, before the film is more quickly moving-on to being on the road.
 
Thanks for the input! I'll keep all that in mind for future projects.
 
I hope you can give an update here sometimes.

cheers,
 
I'll have the 2nd project complete by Tuesday and will post it. [=

I hope you can give an update here sometimes.

cheers,
 

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