Some People...

[ShutteredEye]

I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Sheesh.

 

[ShootHoops]

Wow...did she buy that?

 

[Alison]

:lmao: Thanks for the laugh. I'll make sure Aub stops by when he gets home with a similar tale that he has

 

[Torus34]

Haven't laughed out loud while at the 'puter for quite a while!

 

[clarinetJWD]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Robert, you crack me up. Too bad you won't get to come to the meetup

 

[Digital Matt]

You are my hero! Awesome joke, made even better by the fact that you had several people believing it!

 

[terri]

Oh, to have been a fly on the wall for that one. I can picture this so beautifully, Robert!

 

[GoM]

Hah. No matter how much I want to pull off stuff like that on unsuspecting civilians, I never really manage to. Hats off.

 

[Soul Rebel]

Haven't laughed out loud while at the 'puter for quite a while!

I laughed at the computer. Then I ran upstairs to tell the story to my mom and started laughing again. I havent laughed this hard in awhile.

 

[hobbes28]

[hijacking thread]

I was in Kroger one day and I was purchasing eight bottles of bubbly for a party and this guy who was in front of me kept looking back at me carrying all of these bottles... and he gave me the look. Probably the same look you got from that lady. The look of, "I'm about to ask a duuumb question". So he says it: "So... you having a party?" I look right at him and say, "Nope. I've got one day left to live so I thought I'd live it up right." and snicker a little. He gets white as a ghost, gives me one of those polite grins, grabs his receipt and walks out the door. The lady at the register had started giggling when I answered him and she asked me if I was kidding. I told her I was and she said that she didn't think that guy knew I was. :lmao: I really wish I could run into him again and see the look on his face when he saw I'm still here.

People sometimes...

 

[mentos_007]

buahahah you guys rock

 

[Digital Matt]

This thread reminds me of that one guys bit from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour....the "Here's Your Sign" bit.

He's locked his keys in his car, and he's got a wire coat hanger trying to get the door open, and some guy asks him, "Lock your keys in your car?", and he says, 'Nope, I just washed it, and I'm gonna hang it up to dry".

 

[Chiller]

 

[Corry]

I've seen this joke like 6 times in the past week, but it's a pretty funny one.

 

[duncanp]

Funny