Terrible photographer stories?

[daggah]

So at work, my unit (as well as the unit we support) got together at 1 PM to do a big group photo outside. We're talking several hundred people here. Obviously, the time of day meant harsh mid-day sun, so the photo was already kind of off to a bad start. We're also formed up with the sun providing a side light on everyone, when clearly the better choice would be to put the sun at our back and expose for average skin-tone. We get a guy in a cherry picker raised up high to take our shot...and my first observation is, this guy's got a flash on. What's he think that's going to do? No worries, though, maybe he just keeps it on permanently.

Except...he fires off a few test shots, chimping every time. The flash is pointing straight up into the sky. And firing. And he's talking about checking the flashes. Then he takes four shots, flash going off each time.

So, my question is, where can I buy one of these super-amazing, mega-powerful battery-powered flashes that bounce light off the atmosphere for the ultimate in soft, flattering group photo lighting?

What terrible photographer stories do you guys have?

Edit: oh yeah, this guy also was shooting without a lens hood in a situation where the sun could easily be hitting the front element from odd angles and causing lens flare.

 

[pgriz]

Daggah, you were't paying attention. He was using the minaturized nuclear-powered top secret photon disperser which causes the atmosphere to spontaeously light up above the "flash". A nice complement to the fusion-powered main light. The only problem with them is that they send off alarms on the surveillance satellites that monitor for these flashes of light. So how DID these turn out?

 

[EIngerson]

pgriz nailed it bro, you need to up your gear knowledge. Atmospheric lighting is the rage these days. Watch out for Korean missiles now that you sent them a homing beacon.

 

[BrianV]

He better have used a long exposure.

He was using the Moon as a bounce, and the return trip for the diffuse light is over 2 seconds.

He remembered that the astronauts left a retro-reflector on it.

 

[runnah]

pgriz nailed it bro, you need to up your gear knowledge. Atmospheric lighting is the rage these days. Watch out for Korean missiles now that you sent them a homing beacon.

The trick is to bounce the light off the Korean missiles for a nice soft light.

 

[imagemaker46]

Maybe not terrible photographer stories but related.

I've been thrown out of two sports venues at gun point, in Barcelona and Casablanca, sometimes being right and discussing the point doesn't work.

Was in a group photo in high school, one of the few that I wanted to have, and the science teacher and head of the camera club was taking the picture, he had his flash off the camera and was trying to hit the shutter release and the flash button at the same time, using both hands, he had no sinc cord. It was pretty funny to watch. We never did see the picture.

Watching a guy get really frustrated because he couldn't get his camera to work, he did everything but take the lens cap off, took him quite a while to figure it out, he never looked at the front of the camera.

Had a guy standing next to me try and force a Canon lens on a Nikon body, again he just got frustrated, I figured he knew what he was doing, he did end up getting it kind of on, but not kind of off.

 

[IgsEMT]

So back to the question of the super powerful on-camera flash.... where do they sell those?

About a year ago I was hired for still by a videographer. During the ceremony his camera battery died. (Ceremony and reception were at different places, about a mile apart). He walked back to the hall and then back to the ceremony...
His wide was there as the studio manager, she was the one who told me where he went. At which one of my backups is a d90 with video capabilities (not the beat ones but still there). It was the first time I used that camera on the job and for video. At least we got something. Luckily my name doesn't go on the contract and but I feel bad for the client who didn't get what were supposed to get.

In the summer during a wedding where bride is walking behind the groom and he sees her for the 1st time...
Videographer was hanging around with my like a tail (his was the owner of studio but clock didn't start yet).
As the bride is about to approach her hubby to be, this videot realizes that it would be a great video moment (only his camera is in the Hall-10 min walk to and another 10min walk back to the garden). Again it was d90 that gave him video coverage.

 

[weepete]

Try Axer mate, from the sound of things they'd be happy to sell you a telephoto flash that'll easily hit the moon

 

[daggah]

Try Axer mate, from the sound of things they'd be happy to sell you a telephoto flash that'll easily hit the moon

At an incredibly low discounted price, too!

 

[IByte]

At an incredibly low discounted price, too!

Low prices 1350.00

 

[Josh66]

A similar thing happened at my work last week.

They wanted some promotional type photos for this program I'm on - people working and stuff. Instead of doing it while people actually were working, they picked a few people to be models and pretend to work while everyone else was at lunch. "Pretending to work" for pictures has always bugged the **** out of me... For one, if you take a picture of somebody drilling holes, you would expect to see the drill turning, and probably some material coming off whatever it is they're drilling...

Anyway ... so there's a bunch of people pretending like they're drilling a bunch of holes in a new skin on this plane, and the photographer is bouncing a 580EX II off a ceiling that has to be at least 80 feet off the hangar floor, and is shaped in a way that would not be good for bouncing anyway.

That **** will be in the next company newsletter.

The target audience (investors) will probably never know better, but it is annoying to me, lol. Especially when it would be so easy to get 'the real thing'.

They could have literally just waited 20 minutes and then there would have been people actually doing the things they had everyone pretending to do.

edit
And it's not just the company I work for now - I have seen the same thing at literally every job I've had...

 

[o hey tyler]

I was sitting with a few friends of mine kicking back Margaritas in Portland, ME at none other than "Margaritas" before an M83 concert.

My girlfriend and I were sitting in a prime location to look out the window at a side street near the Civic Center. All the sudden, a limo rolls up. Out pops a photographer with a fong dong fully erect on his flash. No lid. Taking photos of the bride and groom in near darkness shooting flash through a Tupperware up into the night sky. I wanted to go out there and help him, but I took too much personal enjoyment in allowing the booze to soak in and his dong based photographic efforts to fall flat.

Maybe he too was bouncing his flash off of Korean missiles.