The Concept

[Verbal]

Man, I'm thoroughly unhappy with both of these.

I really like the concept of both of these shots, but they were executed very poorly.

How would you guys go about do these?

 

[PachelbelsCanon350D]

Hmm....can you tell us what you were going for?

For example, in #1, does it have to be water? What is the idea you want to show? If it's cleanliness or purity and you need the drop to be clear, I'll think of some ways you could light it up and show it more. First off the top of my head is that maybe a BLACK, not white, backdrop would help fill the droplet with color. Then in PS you can make the black backdrop white, but leave the droplet alone. Or....you could dye it and it would show up more.You know, just dip your finger in some food-colored water instead of plain clear water. But I have to say the lighting on the hand is great. It's just so hard to get the hand right and then try to get the drop looking right simultaneously. Hey, maybe now's the time to try a double shot...what are they called....expose the hand right, then expose the drop right, and merge them together in PS.

For #2, is the writer a ghost? A figment of the imagination? A fleeting thought? Try shooting it in two exposures, one with the backdrop and one with the hand and pen against pure white. Then you can clip it out, make it a new layer in Photoshop, and experiment with different layer blending modes to give more dimensionality to it. Right now it just looks like it has a 50% opacity. But you can do much more with layers. I also would experiment with different angles on that notebook...perhaps a lower, foreshortened angle would be more dramatic. Perhaps also some harsher, higher-contrast lighting on the hand or the whole scene in general. Is the hand yours? Try using a model instead to get some different angles, or keep using your own hand but put the camera on self-timer and experiment with different hand poses.

um, that's all I can think of at the moment, but I like the concepts, I like where they're going. Keep trying!

 

[Verbal]

Thank you very much for the thought-out response Annika! I appreciate it.

I'm working with a lowly point and shoot, so it's pretty tough to get extreme clarity on that water drop...I'll certainly keep trying though.

As for the second shot, I think the angle and table top is the worst part of it. I should put a table cloth down or something... I was using my tripod on top of the table, which accounts for the awkward angle. That was my dad's hand, and he was getting impatient with me and my fiddling, so I just used the tripod and got the shots as quick as possible. I hate the rushing! I get crappy results, as you can see above.

I really want to get it that shot from an angle down near the table, with warmer lighting on the book and hand, but with a darker feel to it. I want the tips of the fingers and the pen to be solid, and fade out gradually... and I want the words "once upon a time" to not be in focus per se, but readable... *sigh* I never think these things through thoroughly before I shoot, though.

 

[puzzle]

I quite like the second shot as it is, angles and everything. However, as the writer has written one line, then paused (even wrote .... ) I think it would work better if the tip of the pen was not touching the paper. As though he is thinking what to write next, and not holding the pen down waiting for someone to take a shot. As it is it looks a little artificial.

The first one is pretty cool, but I think it needs more space to the left of the hand. And maybe something underneath - either the water dripping or a surface that it would be dripping too.

If that makes any sense

 

[Eightball Walker]

Nothing really strikes me with the first, but I think the second would benefit from a different angle. I would try it lower to the table with the cam being perpendicular to where it is now...

 

[Rob]

The last one should be at right-angles so that it's from the writer's perspective; then it'll sit in the mind more happily.

The first one, you need to practise your dripping technique and improve the lighting.

The last one has real potential though and I think you should keep at it and do some more - it's a good idea and just a bit more slickness and you'll produce a great portfolio piece!

Rob

 

[darin3200]

Hey jon check this out

 

[Verbal]

Hey jon check this out

Now that's just not fair

lol, thanks a lot everyone! I may reshoot today =)

 

[Raymond J Barlow]

the first shot needs some work, you have received some great advice.. the second is very cool. and where is sweet alex?? ouch!!!! hehehehe

 

[JonMikal]

Hey jon check this out

now that's an aprilraven & chiller shot!

i like what you're going after...keep at it!

 

[Verbal]

the first shot needs some work, you have received some great advice.. the second is very cool. and where is sweet alex?? ouch!!!! hehehehe

now that's an aprilraven & chiller shot!

i like what you're going after...keep at it!

Thanks Jon! I'll reshoot soon