Together

[binga63]

Together by Chris Crossley, on Flickr

 

[mmaria]

pp is fine, but I really don't feel anything here...

With your title and at first sight I've got the concept but I really don't feel any sort of tension, loneliness or else in this one.
IMHO, this is your first I don't really see...they're just standing there and posing

 

[binga63]

The title is together
but underneath it should also be these words
"You don't need to face the person you love to love them"

 

[mmaria]

ok, so I didn't get the message.

that's not a big deal. but even with your explanation I still don't feel anything... emotions in your photos are the true value of them and in this particular photo I just see two people posing without any kind of emotions involved
sorry... I told you my honest opinion.

I'm sure someone will like it just the way it is

 

[binga63]

that's ok.....sometimes you win... sometimes lose... I saw something... and it is something I am working on...a single portrait with emotion is easy, but to get it (the same emotion) from a couple it is a challenge but I intend to pursue it
the lack of eye contact with the viewer maybe the cause......

 

[mmaria]

It's about their body language, their thoughts and energy. They're too posed and not saying or feeling anything related to each other.

How do you get emotion from one person? That you should be doing with their mutual emotions. Couple is not a subject, their relationship and love between them is. If you understand what I'm trying to say.

The guy is better posed then she is. He looks a bit relaxed, and he thinks about something... so a bit better then her. I presume that you've been talking/getting to know him a bit better and spent more time with him then with her. Nitpick- show a bit of his other foot.
She is stiff, standing there and not wanting to move even a bit until you finish with shooting. She is related to photographer and thinks about photographer and not related to him. This is what I've got from them.

Again, I could be completely wrong

 

[sashbar]

The title is together
but underneath it should also be these words
"You don't need to face the person you love to love them"

Problem is, without these words underneath the image projects an opposite mood. I agree, they do not have to face each other. But there should be something that shows togetherness. I do not see it here. if I am forced to think "together", I see a pair on a verge of a divorce.
I think one of the problems here is that two people who are really together, subconsciously mimic each other's postures, gestures etc. They usually move in unison regardless if they face each other or not. I do not see it here.
It is a very ambitious shot, soooo difficult to pull it out. I think you need not just people who love each other, but a pair madly in love, where the electricity is in the air and chemistry is palpable

 

[tirediron]

The photography is fine, but the title kills it for me.

 

[amolitor]

They look posed to me, somehow. It doesn't feel like a natural posture, or even a stylized one, it feels like two people standing around in front of a camera, having been told to face away from each other.

I might buy him as a sort of stylized pose expressing something, she's just standing there in a sort of 'I don't know what I am supposed to do with my hands' posture.

 

[cynicaster]

I like the processing a lot, but I agree the poses look forced, which is really my only gripe with the photo.

The message I immediately got from it was a couple that is together, the flame has long been extinguished, but neither of them has the guts to break it off.

 

[amolitor]

Expressing what you want to express here is a bit tricky, I think. You need strong body language cues of "separateness" but also some cue of "together". I think you've got a great start here, but you and the models need to work through how to express both of those. What is the relative "size" of the impressions? What would the model imagine, to get the right feeling into the body language? I have some specific ideas, but I don't want to muddy up your thinking by trotting them out.

It's going to be a bit like an acting workshop, I think, and I quite look forward to the results!

 

[Derrel]

Some REALLY AMAZING comments in the various C&C posts above! This looks like it will be an exceedingly tricky shot to pull of successfully.

 

[robbins.photo]

The title is together
but underneath it should also be these words
"You don't need to face the person you love to love them"

So would the suggestion of dueling pistols be completely off base here?

Lol

 

[robbins.photo]

that's ok.....sometimes you win... sometimes lose... I saw something... and it is something I am working on...a single portrait with emotion is easy, but to get it (the same emotion) from a couple it is a challenge but I intend to pursue it
the lack of eye contact with the viewer maybe the cause......

Ok, well all joking aside - you might be able to pull this off a bit better if you have them standing back to back, but have them holding one anothers hand as well. Also they are both looking down at the ground, which generally conveys the wrong emotion in this case. Maybe have them turn their heads slighly so they are level or have one level, one looking slightly upwards, with there faces turned a little more toward the camera. Not facing it directly, but just angled slightly towards - I think that might better convey what your after.

At the moment as the viewer I think that they are both intentionally looking away from me and down - which conveys more of an embarrasment or a disinterest/disgengagement to me. Again, this is all just my own personal take, YMMV, and if you'd care to add the dueling pistols feel free to run with it.. lol

 

[binga63]

that's ok.....sometimes you win... sometimes lose... I saw something... and it is something I am working on...a single portrait with emotion is easy, but to get it (the same emotion) from a couple it is a challenge but I intend to pursue it
the lack of eye contact with the viewer maybe the cause......

Ok, well all joking aside - you might be able to pull this off a bit better if you have them standing back to back, but have them holding one anothers hand as well. Also they are both looking down at the ground, which generally conveys the wrong emotion in this case. Maybe have them turn their heads slighly so they are level or have one level, one looking slightly upwards, with there faces turned a little more toward the camera. Not facing it directly, but just angled slightly towards - I think that might better convey what your after.

At the moment as the viewer I think that they are both intentionally looking away from me and down - which conveys more of an embarrasment or a disinterest/disgengagement to me. Again, this is all just my own personal take, YMMV, and if you'd care to add the dueling pistols feel free to run with it.. lol

hehe I love the Duelling pistols idea..
I am going to rework this concept... and change the title