Took your comments and tried again... Comments and Critiques?!

[D-B-J]

Tried to re-edit another shot from that shoot... what do you all think?


Sunset on the Pier by f_one_eight, on Flickr

Jake

 

[ronlane]

Jake, it looks nice at this size. Go into the original file and I would tend to say that the skin needs smoothing out, as it is really sharp. (I would only do the face personally.)

Was it cold when you were taking these shots, you can see the chill bumps on her arms in the original sized version.

 

[D-B-J]

Jake, it looks nice at this size. Go into the original file and I would tend to say that the skin needs smoothing out, as it is really sharp. (I would only do the face personally.)

Was it cold when you were taking these shots, you can see the chill bumps on her arms in the original sized version.

It was FREEZING, and the wind was blowing something fierce. I had to do a fair amount of smoothing on the edge of her hair as it was a mess from the wind. I'll do some smoothing on the skin and repost.

Jake

 

[DougGrigg]

Thought the model was a bit washed out with the flash, nothing amazing just a quick change of curves, nout else.

 

[Braineack]

I like this one.

I'd still like to see you warm it up a bit and get a little more skin tone out of her. It's not quite blown out but it's close.

Is this cropped, or do you have any more room for her on the bottom and right edge?

 

[hirejn]

Good effort. You got the light off camera and did a reasonable job balancing ambient with flash. Comositionally it's good to have the subject off center, and lower right is a good choice.

The railing could be considered a distraction, as could the horizon intersecting the head. The light is a bit harsh looking at the shadows. The model needs retouching (everyone does). Also, this is essentially a full-face view, not exactly the best for most models. Had you turned her head to camera right and did a 2/3 view, and softened the light with a larger modifier close to the subject, it would've been much more flattering and interesting. Also, two parts should not be doing the same thing. Folded hands are sometimes OK, but in this case it might have been better to have one on the ground curled and the other, her right, with fingers curled touching the cheek, and maybe spread out the elbows a bit to create more of a triangle than square. You don't want females to be square and rigid. A reflector on camera left might have created softer, more pleasing shadows. In any case, when you have a shot set up, do variations of it.

 

[mmaria]

MHO
she looks like she was freezing and no matter how much smoothing you apply you can't fix it.
You oversaturated the sky, look at the red blob in the sky, back of.
Look at the strong shadows under her nose, those weren't supposed to be there. Something to pay attention for the next time.

 

[D-B-J]

Here's an Edit:



Sunset on the Pier Edit by f_one_eight, on Flickr

Jake

 

[D-B-J]

Thanks for all the great feedback! I wish I had been able to use a larger light source, but the wind was a good 25mph+, and would have easily blown my flash/umbrella right into the ocean. And sadly, my usual assistant was in class.

Jake

 

[D-B-J]

Anybody else? Thoughts on the edit?

 

[JTPhotography]

I like the composition, the rail doesn't bother me, and I don't think you oversaturated the sky, it looks exactly like I would expect a cold winter sunset to look like. I do agree that the tones need to be warmer and I think the lighting is too harsh on her face. I would try two flashes, or one with a reflector, toned down a bit.

 

[peter27]

I quite like it but the horizon cuts her head in two and the red makes this more obvious.

 

[Derrel]

No offense intended, but the full-face view, and the pale skin from the cold,cold temperatures, and the way the hard, bright light is swept broadly across her face has made her look a little 'piggy'. I hate to use that word, but it's the only word that really conveys what has happened here...the placement of such a crisp main light source has left a very unflattering nose shadow, and the broad wash of hard light across the full width of the face has visually widened out her face, and the nose shadow (that's what it's called, the nose shadow) is the most-prominent shadow in the face. It's just not a flattering look in terms of pose [full-face, hand pose] or lighting, PLUS she looks pallid due to the extreme cold, and the wardrobe does not match cold,winter temperatures. If she was wearing a parka or makinaw, it might make sense that she looks near-frozen. As hirejn stated above, a 2/3 view of the face would have made her look better; I would add that a 2/3 view of the face and moving the main light to the opposite side would have really made this shot look much more agreeable. This is not a flattering photo of her.

 

[vintagesnaps]

Her hair needed some adjusting; even if you want a windblown look I think it needs to be arranged to look windblown not just frizzy/messy. Fingers too look reddish from the cold. Probably takes double checking details before you release the shutter for things you can't really correct later.

 

[D-B-J]

No offense intended, but the full-face view, and the pale skin from the cold,cold temperatures, and the way the hard, bright light is swept broadly across her face has made her look a little 'piggy'. I hate to use that word, but it's the only word that really conveys what has happened here...the placement of such a crisp main light source has left a very unflattering nose shadow, and the broad wash of hard light across the full width of the face has visually widened out her face, and the nose shadow (that's what it's called, the nose shadow) is the most-prominent shadow in the face. It's just not a flattering look in terms of pose [full-face, hand pose] or lighting, PLUS she looks pallid due to the extreme cold, and the wardrobe does not match cold,winter temperatures. If she was wearing a parka or makinaw, it might make sense that she looks near-frozen. As hirejn stated above, a 2/3 view of the face would have made her look better; I would add that a 2/3 view of the face and moving the main light to the opposite side would have really made this shot look much more agreeable. This is not a flattering photo of her.

What do you mean by 2/3 face? Have her turn away from the sunset slightly, and place the flash camera left? Just trying to get it straight for the next time i shoot.

Jake