UHHH... yeahh... BF app =]

[Photovision]

:twisted:

 

[Chiller]

God damnit! No one wants to date me?!!? No woner I'm getting a divorce!

I have a dungeon.

 

[ilyfel]

I have a dungeon.

are you wanting to lock me up and do bad things to me?

 

[kalmkidd]

i drive fast and own a sick car. i want sex roughly 70times per week aka 10times a day and thats serious. i play xbox 360 alot, and watch formula 1 racing. im hot italian and 240lbs 6'2'' and train martial arts/ kickboxing. call me lol na but pm me if u like.

 

[ilyfel]

how old are you like 13?

 

[ilyfel]

What's your full name: Felisha Dawn Fouch-Nesahkluah
Age: 20
Birthday: 12.12.86
Your current location: Wichita, Ks
Penis size: eh -6in?
Location of X-girlfriends, their level of jealousy, propensity towards violence, and likelihood of owning a firearm: no ex gf but ex bf that aim to kill
Are you willing to commute / relocate?: yes
Number of times prefer sex per week?: 3x a day so, 21 wk
Height: 5'2
Weight: Hey now!
Body Type: uhhh woman?
Smoke?: no
Drink?: yes
IF yes, Tend to pass out?: no
If so, what's your favorite drink?: hm hard one
What are your fears?: spiders, being alone.
What have past girlfriends said they fear most about you?: nothing
Estimated number of times past girlfriends have called you "psycho": nothing
Number of legal issues you've had with girlfriends, past or pending: none
Do you currently have any restraining orders against you?: no
If so, list each and its court defined official reason:
Why Are you Applying?: im not
Can you cook?: yes
Favorite sexual position: me on top
Favorite sexual act in public: kissing, rubbing my mans balls under table at dinner
Have you done or do any drugs?: yes
If so please list lots
Do you get along with your parents/siblings/family?: yes
Would I have to?: duh
Do you consider yourself to be successful?: (define success) no
Where is your ideal vacation spot?: Euroupe
What are some things that are wrong with you?: none
What is something about you that you try but are usually unsuccessful at hiding?: uhhh belly fat?
Can you see a doctor and get rid of it?: oh yeah
Piercings?: had ears guaged to 0 but not anymore
Tattoos?: yes
If so, Where? star on hip heart on wrist
Why would you make a good gf for me?: I am a very nice, sweet out going person.
Have you ever been convicted of a felony or misdemeanor other than a traffic offense? If so please explain.... yes... O_O
Are you currently on the rebound/in love with another girl/ trying to get serious with someone else? yes.. middle of divorce O_O
Have you ever called a woman a **** to her face? If so please explain in detail? oh yea lots of hoes
Have you ever hit or physically injured a woman? all the time, bitches tryn to hop all ova my man yo
Have you ever been expelled from a school/fired from a job. If so please explain yes fighting at school
Do you have a psychotic ex? few of em
Will my life be endangered in any way by dating you? bo
Do you want to get married and start a family in the near future? yes
If so how near? few years
Do you make it a habit to lie on a regular basis about stupid ****? no
How do you treat your mother? ok i guess
Will you put me first in your life? This doesn't mean giving up your job, band, school to be with me but more relating to that I know I am an important part of your life. yes
Would you brag to everyone if you had me as a boyfriend? duh
Do you plan on using me to get to a friend? mmmmm maybe.. i mean no
Have you cheated on a bf in the past? yes
Is it a regular trend? no
Have any ex had to go into therapy after dating you? no
If I told you I felt like crap and didn't want to see you, would you still show up at my door with flowers, chocolate and a kiss just to see me smile? uh i guess
If I actually was sick would you come take care of me even if it meant holding my hair back if I was throwing up, holding me while I cried, and waiting patiently if I was having a panic attack from bs drama?yes

 

[ilyfel]

Would you support me through problems with friends and family?yea
Would you be able to say you loved me even in front of your friends?yea
Who are three of your favorite bands/artists? imogen heap, APC, um. idk
Do you like movies?yes
If so would you stay up and watch them with me all night? yes
ticklefights are fun, right? duh
Do you play an instrument? no
What would you say is the best thing about yourself? worst? eyes, belly fat?
Do you like photography?OMG YES
do you like to cuddle? duh
what do you do for fun? photography

How many sexual partners have you had, and do any of them have STDs? few. and no
Describe your family in detail. losers
Describe your job. I wake up whenever I want, I shoot sometimes, i lay around online and hang with frineds sometimes
Do you like animals? yes
What kind? pitties
What is the most interesting place you have ever had sex? boat or lake
What is your favorite type of food? italian
What kind of beer do you prefer? BW
Can you be romantic? yes
Do you expect sex on the first date? no
If so, many points will be deducted.
What is your favorite color? purple
What is your favorite book? backroads

Some requirements-
You must respect me at all times.
No degrading behavior toward females.
Eat what I cook.
You must enjoy cleaning, because I do not.
Be nice to your mom.
Enjoy washing and waxing my car.
Must enjoy Budweiser products.
Be able to dress well without my assistance.
Be able to explain hockey, baseball and football rules to me.
Enjoy South Park, Family Guy and xbox games.
Be willing to partake in sex at any time.
Make up songs and sing them to me.
Take care of me when I'm sick.
Appreciate my tattoos.
Maintain an exceptionally clean mouth.
Give back rubs, and hand/foot massages.
Have grilling experience.
Be a competent drink mixer.
Must be able to accept that I am a bed & cover hog.
Play with my hair.
Enjoy and understand cameras, and let me photograph you.
Surprise me.
Drive fast with just a hint of occasional road rage.
Appreciate art.
Like to cuddle naked and clothed.
Have great organizational skills, because mine aren't that fine-tuned.
No affairs.
Be open to sexual experimentation (no threesomes).
Meet the approval of my best friend prior to first date (an interview with her may be necessary - this is a rigorous test).
Have good communication skills, and enjoy talking about nonsense.
Like bamboo windchimes.
Enjoy movies.
Must love to dress up for Halloween.
Have cool friends.
Like spicy food.
Be able to clean glass without leaving streaks.
Think I am still cool, even when I'm not being cool.
Do not lie to me ever.
Make me laugh. A lot.
Be willing to purchase tampons, if in an emergency situation.
Enjoy shopping at Victoria's Secret.
Think Harry Potter is a great wizard.
Have attractive and properly moisturized hands.



What Would You do if...
I cried: comfort you
I said I liked you: smile
I kissed you: kiss you back
I wanted to have sex with you: depends
I touched your ass: get horny
I was hospitalized: visit you
I got in a fight and you were there: umm.. idk
I got dumped: idk
I pissed you off: be pissed
I called you, hystericaly crying: comfort you
I told you I would never let you go: smile

What Do You Think Of My...
Personality:
Eyes:
Face:
Hair:
Clothes:
Humor:
Choice of music:
Manners:
Friends:
Decisions:
Body:
sense of humor:

Would You...
keep up with me: yes
Be my friend even if our relationship ended: yes
Tell me the truth no matter what: yes
Make me a birthday gift: yes
Lie to make me feel better: no
Spread rumors about me:no
Come see me at 3am because I was upset:yes
Keep a secret if I told you one:ya
Picnic with me:ya
Play make believe at a park:no
Make me a snack:ya
Try and solve my problems:ya
Love me:yes
Never want to leave my side:yes
Hold me in times of need:yes
Ditch me:no
Use me:no
Hold me and make my problems go away:yea
Shop with me:yea
Have giggle attacks with me:yea

okay so i filled it out best i can so you guys will know about me

 

[lostprophet]

I lol'd so hard!

"Play make believe at a park: my whole world is make believe" Lp now thats funny!

Oh I see laugh at me why don't you it's not my fault I'm not normal

 

[ilyfel]

I feel so unloved!!

 

[ferny]

ilyfel - This isn't the sort of reply which should be in public but you're being very public yourself. This isn't intended to insult or hurt in any way. I don't know the facts and due to my inactivity on this site the only posts I've seen of yours are the recent ones regarding your split. So take this post for what it's worth.


I get the impression that your ex was a cock. Either violent, abusive, unable to control his urges (alcohol and/or drugs and/or fists) or a mixture of the lot. I know a few people who have been in these situations (who I'm very close to) and have a mental list of people who will get a ****ing good kicking from me at some point in the future. So from an outsider it appears you've made a good move. I've no idea of your age but your picture suggests you're either very late teens or early twenties. Also with a child? So being out of a relationship like that is good.

There's no good way to say the next part so I'll be blunt. I get the impression you're a clingy person. Someone who needs to feel loved and show it. To the extent that if someone shows interest or that they may care for you your eyes light up and you feel your dreams and needs are coming true. Unfortunately there are a large group of people who either don't care about the hurt dashing these dreams will cause or see them and decide to take advantage of them. There are far too many tossers in this world. Unfortunately I think you're a bad judge of character so you struggle to spot these people until you're in a position where it is too late. You have blinkered vision. There is never one person to blame in a relationship that turns bad. Each has to share some blame. For your part maybe you picked the wrong person and tried to treat them like the person you wanted to be rather than the person they were. Maybe they were completely wrong for you.

Am I right in saying you don't have a large network of close friends who you can turn to? You have friends, but they don't know all the details and you don't feel like you can knock on their door and as they open it walk up to them and receive a cuddle with no questions. Few of us have that - I don't have that. So you turn to places where you feel safe. For comfort, understanding and security. It won't work. You'll end up festering and making the wrong choices. Probably just repeat your own pattern.

The only way to help yourself is take a break. Take a break from who you are and what you do. Look at yourself later with a clear head and try to see what you have learned. Learned about you, your relationship, what was wrong and what was good, how you can reduce the bad, decide where you want to go, what you want and what you can realistically have. Then remember all of that as you move through life. Always learning, always fine-tuning yourself. Instantly seeking comfort from strangers you'll not meet will never work.

I'm sorry if I've offended you and I'm certain I've got more than a few things wrong. I appologise if I've hurt you and you anyone sitting there thinking "what a twonk, shut up". You appear to be seeking advice and help and that's what I'm trying to offer. You're a young and active woman. Good things come to those who wait. Normally when they forget that they're waiting.

 

[ilyfel]

WOW. Well the story behind this thread is I was talking to someone on here and he was like "so I bet ya have all the guys all over you" and I was like "uhh nooo" and he was like "yeah right and I was like i should make a who wants to date me thread. and that was that.

Edit- I also just read your post. I'm not clingy at all. lol

I just like to joke and have fun. It's my release. I feel better whe I let go and not care what people think. I also didn't answer truthfully in half the questions. It was a meir joke. I am taking a break. Thats why I came to stay w/ my mom instead of moving on my own or with a friend. I complain alot and that helps me let go..

also. I was sitting there reading that thinking "wow you don't know one damn thing about me, STFU please!"

 

[ferny]

Fair enough. And thanks for the PM. Strange how asking publicly how big someones penis is can send out the wrong message.

I was only trying to help. Sorry it wasn't of any use.

 

[Alex_B]

I was only trying to help. Sorry it wasn't of any use.

I was actually quite impressed by that lengthy text of you ... may I recycle it some day when I need to write something similar?

 

[Android]

Felisha,

I think you're stunning...there are however 1 or 2 problems!:hail:
I live on the other side of the world! I am married! I have kids!
Without these problems, I would Jet staight to you

One other problem....I wont answer you're questionaire as I believe half the fun in a relationship is finding the answers as you go.....However, I am all in favour of sex 3 times a day but you have to quit the drugs!

Love
Andy

 

[ilyfel]

LOL I'm not on drugs. I did drugs when I was younger.. O_O I was talking to a friend about it and I reread what I wrote and I was like "o... btw... I don't do drugs.... and I don't have kids either...." And he was like "yea... Me neither..."

lol it was really funny. Sorry for the confusion.. Maybe I should answer it t truthfuly for ya guys.

o and ferny.. Do you really think someone would be serious after asking 1/2 the sh!t I asked?