Wow. A wanna-be fauxtograper manages to totally ruin a wedding.
Meaning:
The official conducting the ceremony was plastered.
The flowers were dead or wilted.
The cake was tasteless and had no frosting.
The dress was the wrong size & color.
An earthquake (7.2 on the Richter scale) occurred during the vows.
The tuxes were from the 1970s. And they were lime green.
The maid of honor fractured an ankle after a heel broke on her shoes.
The rings ended up being from a box of Cracker Jacks.
The flower girl vomited all over the bridge and groom.
The ring bearer filled his pants.
The bottle of champagne was filled with tap water.
The DJ played only reggae and jazz at the dance.
The roof of the church leaked.
The nuts at the reception were rancid.
The limo broke down on the freeway.
A typhoon flooded the photo shoot.
17 guests were arrested for assault in a brawl (started by the photographer!).
The groom ended up in the ER after thrown rice hit his left eye.
The bride's bouquet exploded when her (unmarried) sister caught it.
The bride's veil burst into flames when lighting the unity candle.
The unity candle had been replaced with a Roman candle.
Everyone got drenched when the Roman candle set off the church's fire sprinkler system.
The bride's maternal grandmother had a stroke during the ceremony.
A 16-ton weight fell through the roof of the church, landing on one of the groomsmen and killing him.
The reception line was interrupted by a gang-led gunfight for 'turf'.
The broom's oldest brother lost his bong.
A drain line backed up at the reception, spewing raw sewage across the dance floor.
Attempting to remove the garter from his bride, the groom broke a finger.
And to top it all off: The groom's parents are still being detained by the TSA at the airport.